Author: pastorjonathan

Christian,Husband, Dad, Pastor, Mentor, Volunteer.

5 Ways for Dad’s to Be Involved With Their Kids

On By pastorjonathanIn Family, Manhood1 Comment

I am sure there are tons of statistics out there about how much influence a dad has in the lives of his children.  I am sure I have even heard a few before, but I don’t need statistics to know that I need to be involved in the lives of my children.  They are going to learn a lot about life from somewhere and since they were born into my house, it would be good if it came from me.  So here are 5 things I do at a minimum (and would recommend) to be involved in the lives of my kids.

1. Regular Quality Time

I actually got this out of my father’s play book.  Even though there were four of us, he seemed to find time to spend about an hour a week with each of us alone.  When I was younger this was usually a drive out to a bible study and back or a weekend trip to go fishing.  The way this works with my daughter is that we go out (or stay in) for a pancake breakfast every Friday morning.  Its a regularly scheduled deal that she looks forward to every week.

2. Read Together

I love to read (if you can’t tell by the rest of the blog) and often read several pages a day in real books just for school.  But taking time to read to my daughter is essential.  Reading books she enjoys ensures that one day she will like reading too and reading will open doors for her beyond her own world.

3. Play Together

This is a little tricky when you have a daughter.  Though I have played my fair share of doll house, tea party, and princess games, I really prefer to stay masculine and bring my daughter into my world of play. I’ve found getting outside is one of the best ways to maintain my masculinity and play on a real level.  She loves to swing and jump on the trampoline and I love to see her smile.  She also like sitting on my back while I do push ups or letting me pull her around the block in the wagon.

4. Share About Your Day

Most days when I get home I let her share about her day and I give her a play by play through my day.  We started this when she was 3.  At first I wasn’t sure if she was up to the task, but after a few weeks it kind of became a regular thing.  I’ve learned a lot about what is important to her by hearing her share her play by play of the day.  It only take a few minutes but has quickly become a highlight of her day and mine.

5. Use Strong Words of Affirmation

Our children need to know that we love them, that we are proud of them, and that we think they have great potential.  My kids hear that I love them several times a day.  They hear it when they wake up, they hear it when they go to sleep, they hear it when we talk.  There does not need to ever be a doubt that I love my kids.  Its not enough to show it, it  has to be said.

My kids also need to know that I am proud of them.  I let my daughter know that I am proud of her for setting boundaries when people hug her for too long.  I let her know that I am proud of her when she is helpful and when she learns the right sound for a letter.  By letting her know that I am proud of her it reinforces the posetive behavior in her life.

My kids need to know that they have potential.  I enjoy helping my daughter find a vision for reading if she would practice more.  Saying things like, “You are really catching on.  I’ll bet you will be able to read this book to me by the end of February” really sets a goal out there for her and lets her know I think she can achieve it.  I’m not just proud of her current actions and abilities, but I have confidence that she will grow.  My confidence in her gives her confidence to try new things.

True Love Waits

On By pastorjonathanIn dating, discipleship, Ministry, parenting, student ministry1 Comment

I had the opportunity to speak to a local Christian club on the topic of “True Love Waits” and thought it would be great to share my observations here (seeing as parents, student pastors, and even occasionally students stop by here from time to time).

Warning: This content is mature in nature. Parents this may be a good guideline for you to have “The Talk” with your kids.  If they are in upper middle school they probably have heard a lot about sex and it doesn’t hurt to have a Biblical perspective.

You can get a PDF copy of my notes by clicking the following link:  True Love Waits.

A few other places that might be helpful:

Hear No Evil by Matthew Paul Turner (Book Review)

On By pastorjonathanIn books2 Comments

Hear No Evil: My Story of Innocence, Music, and the Holy Ghost by Matthew Paul Turner comes out Tomorrow (February 16, 2010).  Turner grew up in a fundamentalist Independent  Baptist church and fled to the edge of the music scene in Nashville.  He describes in vivid detail how his fundamentalist upbringing and his earnest desire to be part of the Christian music industry collided.

To be fair, Turner is a very gifted writer.  His writing style is engaging, comical, and pointed all at the same time.  He has a way of pulling the reader into his story and challenging them to see things through his eyes.  This book was very well written.

However, though the book was engaging, in the end it really lacked substance.  All it ended up being was a tirade against various forms of Christianity.  Turner exposed the flaws of fundamentalism, the extreme edge of Calvinism, held a sad reflection on Pentecostalism, and exposed the underbelly of Christian Music Industry.  But to what end?  Why?  What was the point?… That is it.  There was no strong way forward.  There was no call to abandon Christianity.  There was no call to move to the center.  There was no call to say, “Hey, we are all messed up.”  There was no challenge to find the real Jesus.  In the end it was just a well written book on what is wrong with the world of fundamentalism and a few other branches of Christianity.

In the opinion of this blogger, it is a little late for that.  It’s tired.  There are enough former fundamentalist writing out their angst against their parents religion.  Why are they still being published?  Lets push forward and provide some answers, clarity, and direction.  There are two ways to embrace a theology.  One is to be so repulsed by a theology that you back into one, the other is to open both eyes and examine the evidence for yourself.  Hear No Evil is a great example of backing into a theology.  If you are looking for a way forward check out Dug Down Deep by Joshua Harris.  It is written in a similar style, but provides a clearer way forward.

I would really only recommend this book to former fundamentalist who are still full of pent-up angst against their parents and are looking for someone to agree with them.   The retail price of Hear No Evil: My Story of Innocence, Music, and the Holy Ghost is $14.99 (Paperback), and is available at places like Amazon.com for $10.11 I gave it three stars.

You can also get more information about this book from the publisher or purchase it here.

Disclaimer:  This book was provided for review by the WaterBrook Multnomah Publishing Group.  There was no requirement to give the book a good review.  Just to review it and tell you what I really think.

The Prince’s Poison Cup (Children’s Book Review)

On By pastorjonathanIn Uncategorized1 Comment

The Prince’s Poison Cup written by R. C. Sproul and Illustrated by Justin Gerard is a great allegory for children and parents alike.  I really enjoyed reading this book and look forward to reading it again and again to my daughter.  Dr. Sproul does a great job of taking something that kids are familiar with (like having to take medicine) and pairing it up with a theme from Scripture.  Thus taking the readers along a journey from the common to the sacred.

The Illustrations are also fantastic.  The images are child friendly, yet compelling as the story unravels.  I was amazed at the range of illustrations that took place in this book.  Every thing from a mysterious villan in a dark robe, to the King of Life, to a grandfather and his grand-daughter.

The book was a great read.  Perhaps the strongest aspect of the book was the parents section in the back.  Parents are given great questions to ask their kids and help draw the connections between the story they have just read and the scriptures.  We read lots of books at our house, but this element really seems to make this book especially useful.  I’ve noticed most all the childrens books published by Reformation Trust tend to have this element and its worth noticing the lengths the authors and publishers are going through to produce quality childrens literature that goes beyond entertainment and into training and guidance.

Over all this was a fantastic book and I highly recommend it for parents with young children.The Prince’s Poison Cup is an excellent resource. The retail price is $18.00 (Hardcover), and is available at places like Amazon.com for $12.24. I gave it four stars.

Disclaimer: A PDF of this book was provided for review by Reformation Trust Publishing. They will send me a complimentary copy after they see my revies.  There was no requirement to give it a positive review, just for me to call it like I see it.

What a Father says to His Daughter on Valentines Day

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, dating, Family, Manhood, parenting, Womanhood1 Comment

I have a pretty amazing little girl.  She turns five soon.  I am anxious, yet hopeful as she grows older and approaches womanhood.  I have a huge responsibility in demonstrating the way real men are to treat women.

valentines day

I take her out for pancakes once a week.  She looks forward to it every week.  Sometimes she goes to sporting events with me, just the two of us.  We call these daddy-daughter dates. Every day she asks if its her day to have breakfast with daddy.  She loves me in a crazy four-year-old way and I love her like any father should.

So here is what I’m saying to my little girl this valentines day and will probably say almost every day of her life.

1. I love you.

Love is not an emotion, it is an act of the will.  I chose to love you and I will never stop.  I love you enough to tell you the truth, to act against your will sometimes, and to do what is best for you even when you disagree.  I love you when you cry over broken toys, scraped knees, and hurt feelings.  I love you when the world is pressing in and you need a place of refuge and strength.  I love you when you have disobeyed the rules I gave you that were to protect you from harm.  I love you when you dance and sing like they do on TV.  I love you when you dress up like a princes and we dance.   I even love you when you are mad because you didn’t get your way, when you are angry with the kid who stole your toy, and when you don’t want to share. I hope you know by now that I love you and that will not change.

2. You are Beautiful

You are beautiful.  You are beautiful not only in princess gowns, play make-up, and jewelry… your  beauty is beyond skin deep.  I am inspired by your beauty when you are kind to your brother.  Your beauty shines when you help your mom.  Your beauty is evident when you bring your bibles in for me to read.  You are beautiful when you challenge me to dance.  You are beautiful.

3. I am Proud of You

I am Proud of you for so many things.  I am proud of you for letting people know when they have hugged you for too long.  I am proud of you when you take the initiative to help others in need.  I am proud of you when you think of me or someone else and you draw them a thank you card.  I am proud of you for picking up your toys with a good attitude.  I am proud of you for wanting to teach your brother what few lessons you have already learned in life.  I am proud of you when you trust me simply because I’m your dad.  I am proud of you when you ask questions (and you ask great questions).  I am proud of you.

To Dads:

We are often good about telling our daughters about when they misbehave or things they could do better.  Somehow it is easier to notice what we don’t like or don’t value than it is to affirm the good that our children do.  It is important that we cheer them on and provide a positive aim as well. Valentines day (or any day for that matter) is a great opportunity to let your daughter know that you love her and affirm the good things you see in her character.  These 3 words of affirmation are something that all daughters need to hear from their daddy no matter what their age.

The Newest Song on My IPod

On By pastorjonathanIn student ministry, Video1 Comment

Far Away By Lacrea

Help raise awareness and money for relief work in Haiti. Buy this single on iTunes here or buy the video here.

How to Get Free Books (Part 3)

On By pastorjonathanIn booksLeave a comment

I first learned about the Blogger Review Program from Nav Press by searching their website to see if they offered free books for review.  I eventually found the Blogger Review page.  I signed up immediately and with in a few weeks got my first book to review.

The Blogger Review program is a decent program.  It is a little difficult to work your way around the page at first, but eventually I caught on and was able to place an order.  You basically send an e-mail and then order the book using a special promo code that they give you. You write a review and post on your blog.

Strengths to the Program

You Get Free Books

You Get to choose which book you Review

They generally update books to choose from near the beginning of the Month

Weaknesses

The Selection is small (usually about 4 books)

Learning how to order can be a challenge at first

I highly recommend the Blogger Review Program program if you read about a book a month or are looking to suplament your other reading material.  So far I have received and written reviews for 1 book through Nav Press. Compared to the other programs I give it a 3 out of 5.

How To Get Free Books (Part 1)

How to Get Free Books (Part 2)

Wednesday Book Give Away (Dug Down Deep)

On By pastorjonathanIn books, spiritual disciplines3 Comments

Last month I wrote a brief book  review of Dug Down Deep, a new book written by Joshua Harris.  This month I have decided to give away a copy on the blog.  To enter for a chance to win all you need to do to briefly (100 words or less) share your story on how you became a follower of Jesus Christ  or a defining moment when you began to grow deeper in your relationship with God. You can see my examples below.  Then on  Monday (February 15th, 2010) I’ll draw a name by random and announce the winner in the comments section here.

My father was a pastor. When I was 14 my dad had a stroke and his church fired him. I hated God and the church and soon started action out in rebellion. My dad confronted my rebellion. I tried to be good enough to make up for the bad things I had done, but I still felt guilty. When I was 24 I finally trusted in Jesus Christ to remove my sin and my shame. Knowing Jesus has changed me and I want others to know about Him. He is indeed the Way, the Truth, and the Life.

If you win I will also contact you via e-mail so I can make arrangements to get you the book (so make sure you fill that part out when leaving a comment).

If you are interested you can find out more about my story by clicking here which will take you to the “my story” section of this page.   You can also click here to begin with the first of five posts on how I became a follower of Jesus Christ.  I look forward to reading your story!  It always amazes me how God works in our lives.

If you have any questions, I have answered some of those on an earlier post and you can find it here.

Book Give Away on Wednesdays

On By pastorjonathanIn booksLeave a comment

So here is the deal.  I like to read and I have free books coming in from a few sources now.  However, I rarely read a book twice and I am a little limited on book space.  So I have decided to start giving away some fairly new books on my blog.  I get a few questions here and there about it so I thought I would put up a short post describing how I hope to do this.

How does it work?

Intermittently on Wednesdays I will put up a post with a book that I am want to give away.  Sometimes I will just ask you to leave a comment (Like: why do you want this book?) and place everyone’s name in a hat and draw out a name.  Sometimes I will ask for creative comments and pass on a book to the one with the most creative comment.  And I’m leaving the door open to change the process in the future.

How often will you give away a book?

Hopefully at least every other week and maybe every week.  It depends on how high my give away stack is at the time.  Check back in each Wednesday morning to see.  I generally write my posts well in advance before they are published and will have Book Give Away posts scheduled for early Wednesday morning.

Who can enter?

Anyone. That is anyone with a shipping address in the continental United States.  I don’t mind paying a small amount of money to ship a book.  If you win and I don’t have your address, I will contact you via the e-mail you supplied when you left your comment and you can provide me with an address then.  Otherwise I don’t need to know your address.

How do I know Who won?

I will post in the comments section on the following Monday announcing who won.  If you won I will also contact you via e-mail and make arrangements to get you the book.

Here is what I ask of you if you want to enter:

  1. That you be polite when you comment.
  2. That you read the book (or pass it on to someone who will) if you win.

Nelson’s Compelte Book of Bible Maps and Charts – A Review

On By pastorjonathanIn books, discipleship, Ministry, spiritual disciplines1 Comment

Nelson’s Complete Book of BIble Maps and Charts, 3rd Edition is a very simple, helpful, and affordable reference book for the Bible.  I would highly recommend it to anyone interested in gaining visual insights into the Bible.   Bible maps are quite helpful in determining the movement of people (especially in the Old Testament as well as tracking Jesus’ ministry and Paul’s Missionary Journeys).  The charts are also especially helpful.  They helped me quickly get a grasp on the god’s worshiped in Egypt and the relevance of the ten plagues that God sent upon that land.

The book is choreographed with the Bible so that what ever book you are studying, all you need to do is look up that book Nelson’s Bible Maps and Charts and you will have the information you are looking for at your finger tips.  The pictures of geography or of biblical artifacts are sparse, but in a reference like this they are really beside the point.  The real value to this book is its ability to compliment your scripture reading or provide you with plenty of teaching aids.

There more detailed books available such as a Bible atlas, but I have yet to come across any that do such a wonderful job of providing all the relevant data at your finger tips for such an affordable price.  Easy to use, simple, and well put together.

Nelson’s Complete Book of BIble Maps and Charts, 3rd Editionis a great book and I highly recommend it. The retail price is $19.99 (paperback), and is available at places like Amazon.com for $13.59 (which is an amazing deal).  I gave it five stars.

Disclaimer: As a blogger I received a free review copy from the Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program  (http://brb.thomasnelson.com/ ).  There was no requirement to give it a positive review, just for the reviewer to call it like they see it.