Category: Family

The BOY who CHANGED the WORLD by Andy Andrews (review)

On By pastorjonathanIn books, Family, UncategorizedLeave a comment

The Boy Who Changed the World by Andy Andrews is a large hardback children’s book based on the inspirational gift book The Butterfly Effect. The Boy Who Changed the World is about how every life and every person make a difference in lives of others.  The book is well written and the graphics certainly caught the attention of my four-year-old. The story only takes a few minutes to read and shares an inspiring message of hope.

The actual story of the book follows a chain of events back to a few significant moments in a few individuals lives that eventually lead to the feeding of over 2-billion people.  Its a great story for children to be inspired by and great for parents who are hoping to inspire their kids to attempt great things.  The message is clear and concise… You make a difference.

This is a great book to give the children in your life and read with them over and over.  The retail price is $16.99 (Hardcover), and is available at a discount at Amazon.com for $11.55. I gave it five stars.

Children book reviews

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of the BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    Dads, Daughters and Date Days

    On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, dating, Family, Manhood, parenting, WomanhoodLeave a comment

    Right around 5-years ago I became a dad.  The nurse handed me this precious little baby girl and I knew that it would all be different from that day forward.  My life had changed and all the sudden I felt the pressure to not to drop the ball.

    Now She is almost 5-years-old and smarter than I ever imagined a 5-year-old being.  She knows me well.  To be honest, sometimes its uncomfortable.  She doesn’t come with a filter.  In fact that’s what a lot of parenting is… introducing a filter.

    Just being gut level honest… It’s not easy to introduce a filter and help your kids process life.  Most of the time the easy thing to do is to go cut the grass (because its over due and you wonder what your neighbors are thinking about your un-kept yard), or read a book (because you need some quiet time after they have tugged on our arm and said, “Dad” a million times in a row just to get you to look at their newest drawing and act like its the best thing since Michael Angelo), or Watch TV while your kid takes an hour long bath and shrivels up like a prune (because you’ve had a long day dealing with other peoples problems… not to mention your own).  Its actually quite easy to just show up, give out a hug, maybe play a token game or two with your kid, talk to your wife, go to bed and do it all over again tomorrow without ever really parenting.

    To be completely honest.  I don’t always succeed at taking advantage of all the “dad” moments that I could.  But I know I need to.  I know that I love my kids (no matter how many times they say “dad” in a row while I’m trying to figure out the algebra problems I’ve created  in the check book). I know that they need me.  I know that I don’t want to wake up 20 years from now living with regrets on how I wasted these formable years because someone else said, “that’s normal” or “that really never messed up my kid.” (After all they aren’t accountable for how I raise my kids).

    So we have set some things in place in my family in order to capitalize on these younger years with my daughter.  I tuck her in bed most nights and read 1 or 2 stories to her from her Jesus Story Book Bible .  We also pray together.

    On some Sunday afternoons we are more intentional.  We have this 105 picture set of pictures describing events in the Bible.  She picks out several pictures and I walk her through the story and how it relates to Jesus and obedience to God.  She looks forward to our time on Sundays and its often in this context that we process how the stories tell us about who God is and how we can relate to Him through our decisions.

    My favorite part of the week is taking her out for breakfast once a week before school, we call it a Father-Daughter date.  The regular scheduled time gives me a solid hour of quality time with her.  We do everything from eating pancakes, talking about our her week, sharing ideas on how to color a picture, reading books, to picking up a small gift or surprise for my wife and her mom.  Its often in the context of this date that I get opportunities to share about Jesus with folks we meet there.

    Its the date days that I really think my daughter gets to see the fullest picture of her dad.  There is no topic off limits and she often brings up some great questions.  We process life together and I intentionally help unmask the world around her through the lens of scripture. Sometimes we talk to people, sometimes we pray with people, and sometimes we just enjoy pancakes and a good story.

    You see, here is what I know.  My daughter reads my actions better than my intentions. So it makes sense that I would be intentional about my actions.  I say that church is a family event, yet when we get there I am pulled a million different places (as I should be) because I’m on staff at the church.  So we arrive together and leave together on purpose (even though it would be more convenient not to).  I say I love her, so I am intentional about spending quality and quantity one-on-one time despite having a hectic and busy schedule.  I say I love Jesus, so I intentionally help her process her world through the lens of scripture.

    I want her to know me.  I want her to know that I love her.  I want her to know that I am proud of her.  I want her to know that as a father I will do what is best for her.  Its really not about my good intentions, its about intentionally being a dad. I hope one day she looks back on her childhood and treasures the times we talked over pancakes as much as I do.

    What about you?  What are some of the things that you are intentional about with your children?

     

    The Jesus Storybook Bible (Review)

    On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Family, parentingLeave a comment

    I really like the Jesus Storybook Bible Deluxe Edition.  I’ve been reading it to my4 year old daughter on a pretty regular basis.  Most storybook bibles we have come across grossly leave out important details, this one however, remains truer to the text than any I have ever seen while at the same time driving home the story of Jesus from Genesis to Revelation.  This storybook Bible presents a clear and accurate Biblical theology on a child’s level.

    Since our children are younger we’ve started using it for family devotions in the evening before bath and bed.  My daughter loves it and begs for me to read the next story.  We have the deluxe edition which comes with CD’s of David Suchet reading the stories (like in the video’s below).  If you have kids or grand-kids I would highly recommend getting your hands on a copy of the Jesus Storybook Bible.  The retail price is $25, but I got mine from amazon.com for $16.49.  I gave it 5 Stars.

    Zondervan has put out a few video’s where you can get a glimpse of how the stories read.  I have included them below for your viewing pleasure.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    Wandering in the Dessert (Review)

    On By pastorjonathanIn discipleship, Family, parentingLeave a comment

    Wanderin’ in the Desert (3rd Disc from What’s in the Bible with Buck Denver) is a fascinating yet educating program.  I watched it with my four year old daughter and we talked about the program.  I was really impressed with the material on two levels.  On one level I was impressed with how much content was packed into the two 30 minute shows.  It is clear that the creators were intent on presenting a conservative view of scripture (for which I am deeply appreciative).  They also took great care to answer relevant questions on kid friendly level. On a second level , I was impressed with how the writers took care to draw the information to a simple point of real application.  Not only was there information about the reliability of scripture, but there was a subtle yet evident plea to trust the God of the Scripture.

    My daughter, though she was able to retain a lot of information from the program, was impressed on a different level.  The program was fast paced enough to keep her attention all the way through.  She really enjoyed the songs making me play them over and over for her.  After the program I asked her several questions and she responded pretty well.

    Overall I was highly impressed with the 3rd disc as I have been with the whole series to date.  The only draw back was that in between segments it shows a little boy (puppet) talking a little disrespectfully to his mother who is silent and off camera.  I discussed this with my daughter as an example of behavior that I expect her not to emulate. Beyond that the whole production is pretty amazing.  I would highly recommend it to parents and grandparents to watch and review with their children.  I can see it being a great resource for bible lessons!  I give it four stars.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received a DVD of this program free from Tyndale House Publishers as part of their Tyndale Blog Network. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    Finish Well sometimes requires a team effort (1 Kings 1)

    On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Family, leadershipLeave a comment

    It’s not how you begin the game, it’s how you finish that counts. The L.A. Lakers proved that Tuesday night in game 3 of the finals. After an terrible start, they came back on a scoring rampage in the second quarter. At one point it looked like it was going to be a blow out, but it was still early in the game. The Celtics came back and at times in the 4th quarter it was a 1 point ball game. However the Lakers rallied at the end to hold their lead and win.

    I think we get a similar picture of the life of David. David was hated by Saul. Then upon Sauls death he managed to unite an empire. Yet when he was supposed to be at war he was home sleeping with the wife of one of his soldiers. That among otherthings caused family problems and disputes among Davids children that often ended in bloodshed. At one point obe of his own sons marched on Jerusalem to depose him as king. Now at the end of David’s life another one of his sons is seeking to ignore his father’s wishes and make himself king.

    By the kindness of God, David has some close friends and allies who will help make sure that his wishes are honored and that he doesn’t blow it in the final chapter of his life. Here is the deal, I wonder if David would have missed it if he weren’t surrounded by such a caring crew of individuals? Even near the end, they weren’t willing to see David lose a grasp on his kingdom. They stuck around long enough to make sure that his final act as king was to hand the mantle of leadership off properly.

    You see David really could have blown it at this point. He could have remained ignorant. He could have forgotten to make the appointment of Solomon official. He could have done slot of things wrong, but he didn’t. David’s success in handing of the mantle of leadership rested in the hands of his greatest friends who were available to spur him on in his hour of need.

    Application: Its not how you begin, it’s how you finish. David finished well, because he had great friends and allies who wanted to see him do the right thing.

    Two Questions:

    1. Who are you helping to finish well? Who are you investing in? Who can call on you when they need you?

    2. Who will help you to finish well? Who knows you inside and out? Who will keep you accountable?

    What did you get from 1 Kings 1.

    Teaching Our Kids to Take Risk

    On By pastorjonathanIn Family, Just Thinking, parentingLeave a comment

    There are 2 kinds of danger when it comes to being a dad.  There is the danger that fills our world and we must make provision to protect our children.  We protect and provide for our kids by plugging up electrical sockets with those clear plastic things and placing cleaning chemicals beyond reach.  We train our children to hold our hand, to be suspicious of strangers and to stay away from stray neighborhood pets that “might” secretly hate children.  We scare away the nightmares and wipe away the tears.  We teach our kids to wash their hands.  We tell them if they are lost to find a police officer or a woman (women are slightly less likely to be child predators than men… I know its profiling and I really don’t care when it comes to the safety of my child).  We teach them to be safe.

    Then there is the other kind of danger.  Its the danger of being too safe.  Its the danger of teaching our kids to  stay close to home and not take risk.  There will be times when my children will need to take risks. I’m failing as a dad if I do not push my kids out of the nest at some point and say, “You have to ride the bike with out the training wheels.”  Other wise I end up with a 30 year-old kid stuck living at my house who cries at the injustice of running out of cheerios for breakfast.

    The reality is that most things worth doing in life involve taking calculated risk and being dangerous.  To ask my wife out on our first date I had to risk rejection.  To keep a few people with me safe from harm I had to risk my life or bodily injury (thankfully I won the gamble on that one).  To share the gospel with people in one of our inner cities I had to risk exposure to an area with a high crime rate (I grew up in rural America).  To follow God’s call on my life I had to risk selling our house in a down market and move an hour away to another city.

    Sometimes risk is good.  Sometimes we fall on our faces even after taking well thought through and calculated risk.  I guess the line  between risk and safety comes when “right” or “reward” enters the equasion.  I asked my wife out because of the possible reward of finding a wonderful marriage partner (by the way I am glad I did). I stood between a man recently released from jail and two young ladies he was threatening because it was the right thing to do.  I would rather my kids do the right thing than the safe thing, I would rather them risk in pursuit of worthy goals than never have them attempt anything worthwhile.

    Perhaps the hardest part of parenthood is giving our kids the right to fail and the freedom to take risk.

    How do you teach your kids to interact with a dangerous world?

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    Communicating with Children:4 Tips for Hearing What Your Kids Have to Say

    On By pastorjonathanIn Family, parentingLeave a comment

    Last week I posted that I needed your help on a project and promised that this week I would share more of my notes.  I was leading a short small group session on communicating with children and many of you weighed in with great comments and encouragement.

    4 tips for Hearing what your kids have to say


    1. Hugs & High fives or other forms affirmation

    Physically affirming and appropriate touch is very important to express that you are a safe and will listen.  Some children crave this kind of attention more than others and really receive love well through simple things like hugs, high fives, fist pounds, etc.  This often works better at some ages than others as well.

    I hug my daughter (4 year old) before and after every round of discipline and am always available for a hug.  I want her to know that even though she has been disobedient that she has not removed herself from my love. (the other side of this is that she needs to know she is being disciplined for being disobedient.  Being emotionally unavailable is not a good form of punishment… ie your children shouldn’t fear getting yelled at or pushed away because you are angry.  But that’s a whole nother blog post.)

    On the days that I get home before bed time I try and spend 30 minutes to an hour holding each one of my children.  With my daughter (4 years old), she shares about here day and I share about mine and I read her a few books.  With my son (4 months old) I feed him and hold him up smiling at him and tell him what he is doing (teaching him to communicate).

    2. Eye contact & other physical cues to let them know you are listening

    Put away distractions and look your child in the eye when they are talking.  This may involve getting down on their level or picking them up to yours.  This may also involve turning off the T.V., turning away from the computer and putting the phone down.  Let your child know that they have your best attention when they speak.

    Due to the nature of my job this is a little difficult to do.  I answer the phone when people are in crisis and stay up long hours writing paper for my graduate classes or sermon notes.  When I know I am busy I give my daughter 3 “tickets” that are anytime tickets for her to come see me.  She can interrupt what I’m doing for any reason, but she needs a ticket.  She usually burns the first two in a matter of minutes, but holds the last one until I’m through with my phone call or take a break from writing.

    I also take her to McDonalds once a week for breakfast.  She looks forward to this “date” all week long.  I put away my phone and talk with her all morning about the stuff that is important in her life.  If all else fails she has at least one hour of uninterrupted special “daddy time” each week where she has my undivided attention.

    My Son (again 4 months)  is a little less understanding, but I try and spend intentional time with him letting him explore my face with his hands and watching my mouth move as I talk.  He needs to know he has my undivided attention.

    3. Ask good questions

    One great way to show that you are listening and value what your child is saying is to ask good questions.  When your child is old enough to make choices about particular things ask them why they made that choice.  We just signed my daughter up for dance a month ago and so she will be telling me dance… so I’ll ask her, “what was your favorite part about dance?” Notice that this isn’t a “yes,” “no,” “good,” or “bad” question.  I didn’t ask, “so how was dance today?”  I intentionally asked an open ended question designed to get her to share more about world.

    4. Rephrase to make sure you know what they are saying.

    Rephrasing helps your child to know you understand what they are saying.  For example my daughter may say, “I have two dance teachers mrs. ___________ and _____________.”  I will say back to her, “wow, so you have two dance teachers not just ______________, Mrs. _______________ is in there too?” In fact in my house if I don’t rephrase for my daughter she will carry on the conversation by rephrasing for me until she feels I have sufficiently gotten the message.

    It can also be great to have your child tell you what you just told them.  You might be surprised how many times they say, “yes, ma’am” or “sir” and they don’t know what you are talking about because you have used a word that is not their vocabulary.  Often times when I do this with Rebekah I have her repeat the new word to me and I explain it to her until she can explain it to me.