Choosing to Date Differently

I remember the day that I called my mom and said, “Had I known it would be like this, I would have never dated.  I would have skipped every prom, homecoming, and barn warming dance (a Missouri thing).  I am hopelessly in love with the woman I want to marry and I just now realized that I have wasted my life  trying to be some other girls’ hero… I am ready to be a husband.” That statement represented a huge paradigm shift that took place in my life from being a serial dater to dating with the intent for marriage.

Over the years God has blessed my wife Avia and I with the opportunity to share with many single people about how we dated (some would call this courtship).  Sadly the story I will share over the next few blog post will sound completely contrary to the dating culture.  I remember my own years of looking for “love” and going about it in all the wrong ways.  I have sat across the table from enough lonely and desperate people to know that things haven’t changed much.

If you are single and looking for the right way to date hopefully these blog posts will be an encouragement to you about how God can guide you through this time of your life.  My aim is 3 fold.  1. I will be sharing in a story format how Avia and I came to be married.  2. I will be sharing practical principles and steps we took. 3. I will be sharing the scripture that lead us to those principles and steps.

Stay tuned…. Here are some of the titles of upcoming blog posts

The Danger of Missing it by a Mile

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
(Proverbs 14:12, 16:25 ESV)

Wrong Way

So I found some of my old writings on a zip disk leftover from my college days.  I took time to read them and took a quick trip down memory lane to see how I might have changed.   As I was reading I couldn’t help but notice a subtle but profound difference that has taken place.  Somewhere in my writing I transitioned from knowing about God to being a quest to know God.  As the son of a pastor and a student minister studying religion I was living in a world where everyday I was brought face to face with the Word of God and gleaning doctrine divorced from personal relationship.  I was a faithful student of God’s stats, but not his friend.  I could have told you the important nuances of a Bible passage and had a great grasp on how to use all the study tools, but it didn’t do me any good.  I didn’t grow closer to God, I loved his word, but I didn’t love Him. I look back and I thank God for his kindness toward me in leading me to repentance and real faith in Him.

Just knowing about God caused me to act in such away as if winning a theological argument with another religion student or science major was what it was all about.  I studied God’s word to bring me more personal glory.  I would risk relationships to show others how superior in Bible trivia I was.  Yet when I came to know God, I left it all, and fully embraced the embarrassment of confessing that I had known God’s stats, but missed out on knowing him.

I have seen several pastors hit grand slam sermons out of the pulpit and strike out at home with their own children because their children understood their dad was a phony.  I have seen kids walk away from their parents religion because dad and mom were more concerned about what people would think rather than what God thinks.  Pride is a dangerous thing.  It can keep you in church and out of heaven.

God, I thank you for your grace in reminding me that I need to offer my pride to you again today.  It is a dangerous thing to learn about you and not know you.  Thank you for interrupting my life with your grace so I wouldn’t be content to study your word without the hope of knowing you.  Give me strength to cast down any idol that would stand in the way of knowing you.

3 books that have profoundly influenced my life

I have to be honest about two things. First, I should state that I was influenced by the authors, not just the books themselves. I have since read many books by many of these men and enjoy the conversation I have with each one. Second, with the exception of John Piper, the authors on this list are dead. God has used them in a mighty way past the years he has given them on this earth. I am thankful that though they are dead, they still speak.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/george_eastman_house/2677422743/

1. Desiring GodJohn Piper

I first read this book while still in school at the University of Mobile and it opened up a world for me to begin to understand God in a way that I had never understood him before.  I was amazed to discover that “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.”  I don’t think any other single person (short of my parents) has had the level of impact on my thinking.  I was blessed to hear a sermon by Dr. Piper a little later that year entitled “Doing Missions When Dying is Gain.”  (you can listen to the same sermon for free here.) I have never been the same.

2. Pilgrim’s ProgressJohn Bunyan

I read pilgrims progress when I was a child at a small Christian School in Montana.  I have since read and reread it in several different modern English versions.  It was through John Bunyan that I was introduced to the rich application of the scriptures.  I have never read another book that so completely described the Christian journey.  I think this is the book I have shared most often with others. It was once a theme for a Disciple Now and a Christian Heritage Conference Its an easy read, but spiritually challenging.

3. How to Win Friends and Influence PeopleDale Carnegie

I picked up the 1936 edition of this book and read it when I was 16 years old.  A speech teacher had told me about it and I set out to read it.  It profoundly shaped the way I communicate and made me a different person.  Dale Carnegie taught me to take a genuine interest and really care about people.

What about you?  What books or people have greatly influenced your life?

My Story: A Trial that Proves a Faulty Faith (Part 2)

flickrcom-photos-flakstad-2681169006When I was 14 years old my life took a sudden and unexpected turn.  My family had moved from Montana to North Alabama.  My father now only worked one job being a full time pastor.  We were settled into the school system and began  enjoying life in the south.

Then I came home one day to find out that my dad had had a stroke and was in the hospital.  We visited him over the following weeks.  Many times I chose not to go because I didn’t want to see my father in such a helpless position.   He began the road to recovery only to be asked for his resignation a few months later.

At the time I blamed myself.  Around the same time he had taken me out arrowhead hunting one afternoon and he ended up being late to an important meeting.  I internalized what I perceived as the attack on my father as being my fault.

A Different Kind of Suffering

In the times past all the suffering that we had endured seemed impersonal.  My parents had seen two miscarriages.  We almost lost my mom and brother when he was born.  We were poor and trusted God to meet our needs. Yet, now I was faced with what appeared to be a very personal and direct attack on all that I understood to be right in the world.

There is no greater insult to a young man than to defame his father in front of him.  I chose to reject God and the church.  I hated God and rebelled against him in all that I knew to do. I did not know it, but my faith was being tested to prove I was not all that I thought I was (I Peter 1:6-7, II Corinthians 13:5).  I had been riding the coattails of my parents faith, but there comes a time when each person must trust Christ on their own (Ezekiel 18:21-32).

My Rebellion

I had a friend who would drink and so I asked to be included the next time he went out.  I began getting drunk on a regular basis.  I was mad at God for letting my dad get fired and I was mad at the church for being so full of hypocrites.

For a time we  would hang out in my parents back yard getting drunk in a cabin on the river.  We didn’t have a great way to dispose of the alcohol containers (I’m sure my dad would have noticed them in the trash can), so we cut a hole in the bottom of the cabin floor and stuffed all the empty containers in the hole.  Eventually there was no more room to hid the beer cans and vodka bottles.  My dad found out we were drinking and we had a “come to Jesus” meeting.

I hated disappointing my dad and knew a great way to get out of some of the trouble I was in was to “repent” of my sin.  I was genuinely sorry for what I had done, but mostly I was just ashamed that I had gotten caught  (I Corinthians 2:10). I set about to hide my shame by building a reputation of good works.

At age 18 I became a student minister.  I thought that if I was just good enough, God would be pleased with me.   I was wrong (Ephesians 2:8-9). I thought I could earn God’s favor, but its a gift that has to be given.

It would be years before I would really discover what a relationship with God was really all about.

Want to know more about the Christian message and how to become a Christ follower?  Click the link below.  Be sure to follow it to the end that is where the truly good news is shared.

Way of  the Master

My Story: A Godly Heritage (part 1)

flickrcom-photos-hamed-258971456Richard and Barbara Hill had suffered two miscarriages between my sister’s birth and mine. My birth was anticipated with much fear and joy.  I was born on April 27st, 1979.  My mother named me Jonathan meaning “gift of God.” Though I do not remember them ever saying it, it was evident in the way we were raised that my parents believed that all children are a gift from the Lord (Psalm 127).

My Father

My father was a gentle but strong man.  Most of my childhood he was a church planter in Montana.  He would pastor a small existing church, lead a bible study that would develop into another church and work a full time job.  Montana was not known for its job market and often my dad would take seasonal low paying jobs just to help our family make ends meet.

Despite the overwhelming drain and stress of being overworked and underpaid my father was the priest in our home.  He lead us with a family devotional in the morning and family prayer time at night.   He was the first to discipline us, but always with love…I never saw my father lose his temper (Ephesians 6:4, Proverbs 22:6 & 15).

My Mother

In my denomination women are encouraged to take seriously the highest office of influence over a man (motherhood).  My mother has influenced my walk with Christ more than any other individual.  She did it by being a Godly mom (I Timothy2:12-15, Proverbs 31).  Often I would rise early to use the bathroom in early hour of the morning and catch my mom in our living room with her bible open having a daily quiet time.

More than just the habits my parents exhibited I saw their faithfulness in the small things.  I remember having a desire as a young man to be so like my mom and dad that I asked how I could memorize scripture.   My parents loved God and they loved to be with the people of God.  Every time we were gone on a Sunday we would be in a church service at another location on our way to where ever we were going (I John 1:7).   To this day I can count on one hand how many Sundays I have not attended worship service in my life.  Not because I am trying for perfect attendance but because we so loved God that we couldn’t help but want to be with His people.

Trials

I saw my parents face trials with a patient endurance.  There were times that the ends would not be meeting and we would see God provide for us in miraculous ways (like a giant bag of pinto beans or a check in the mail).  My parent’s faith was unwavering and I learned by observation what it looks like to face difficult and dark days with an eye to see Jesus Glorified (James 1:2-4, Hebrews 12:1-2 )

I was off to a great start, but later around the age of 14 I would face a trial of my own that would expose my complete lack of faith in God.  I was trying to live in the world of my parent’s faith, but came up short when the pressure was on.  It was time I learned just where I stood in the world apart from God and without hope.  Check back tomorrow as the story continues with…

For more on the Christian Message Check out 2 Ways to Live

My Story (Introduction)

flickrcom-photos-linnybinnypix-1189889644God did something to me a few years ago and I now have a story to tell.  I want to share my story with you for several reasons.  Some people want to catch up and know what life has been like in the Hill House these last several years.  Others of you want to know what, if anything is really different than the Jonathan you used to know.  Still more of you have only known me as a Christian and you wonder what was life like before you met me.  Most importantly I want to bring honor to God and tell the world the story of how he saved me and he can save you if you are willing.

Introduction:

Over the next several days I will be blogging my story (complete with scripture references).  My goal is to show you what God has done in my life looking through the lens of God’s word.  The title of each blog and day it will be posted are listed below.  Tune in this week to get the full story.

What I’m Listening to These Days

Seriously, I didn’t start out a rap or hiphop fan and probably still don’t qualify.  But, these guys are delivering the message in a totally appealing and intense way.  Just listen to the lyrics.

Lacrae

Shai Linne

Just imagin if these lyrics got stuck in our kids heads instead of some of that other stuff

How I Learned that God is Faithful

161992803_f87db32131_mSo I shared the story of how God touched my life with a group of men on Saturday night.  I talked about how I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere in Montana and the adventures I had as a child.  In the midst of it all I got to share my favorite memories from my childhood.

The truth is I have a terrible memory.  My younger brother can remember tons of stuff that failed to register with me as we were growing up.  What I do remember is this… God is faithful!

God heard my mother’s prayer to have a child after 2 miscarriages and gave me to her.  He heard my father’s prayer over my new born brother and mom when it looked like he might loose them both  (she had birth complications in a one doctor town in the middle of a blizzard in Eastern Montana).  He provided for our every need (especially when we were poor).  We would gather together as a family and pray about our circumstances and money would come in from a friend out of town or God would bless us with 60 lbs of Pinto Beans (you had to be there to hear the story).

Later after my father had his stroke and was fired from his church I rebelled.  I ran from all I had heard growing up.  Each night I that I would come home drunk I would have to pass by my mothers room where I would hear her praying for me (she didn’t know what all I’d been doing).   God was faithful and heard her prayers and eventually brought me to a point where I met Jesus Christ as  my Lord and Savior.

I learned that God is faithful through the prayers of my parents.  I’ve read the bible through 2 or 3 times now and understand every word to be true, but I saw it first in my parents simply trusting God in the midst of difficult circumstances. I pray that my daughter sees God’s faithfulness in my actions and response to circumstance.

I share more about my story in a series of blog posts.  You are welcome to check them out here.

3 Discipleship Questions

Ok so I am working on a strategy to help people who become Christ followers to grow in their relationship with Him (aka discipleship for new believers).  Please feel free to comment and discuss in the comment section below.

  • What are the first 5 things a new believer should learn/know how to do (regardless of their background)?
  • How would you coach a new believer who is a teenager living in a house with unbelieving parents or siblings?
  • (If you are a believer) How were you discipled when you became a Christ follower & who discipled you?

9 Reflections on Disciple Now (Part 2)

3. Our teenagers glorified God by serving others with the work projects this weekend (They painted a house, built a ramp, hosted a backyard bible club, and took cookies to the home bound).

4. Our teenagers were given at least one more point of contact with our church family (they stayed in the home of church members and the relationships at Calvary were deepened and  developed as students and adults interacted)

5. Our Teenagers were given a positive aim for their life and real reason to remain pure (to glorify God in manhood and womanhood!)  Too often the loftiest aim we give our kids is to stay out of trouble… ie… “true love waits” and we fail to provide a positive challenge to our kids to raise the standard.