Tag: teenager

Avatar: 3 Things I’d Tell My Teenage Son After Watching Avatar

On By pastorjonathanIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Ok before I start its only fair to say that my son isn’t a teenager (he’s almost 2 months old) and I’m really not a fan of Avatar.  But because I had the opportunity to see the movie and I work with teenagers (and I can imagine my son being a teenager one day), I went to the movies with the eyes of a father.  I posted something similar earlier in a post entitled, 3 things I’d tell my Teenage Daughter After Watching New Moon.

Here are three things I’d tell my son after we watched Avatar together…

1. Amazing Story (telling)  Does Not Equal Truth

The movie Avatar was one of the most amazing special effects movies I have ever seen (Especially seeing it in 3D).  Not only was the cinematography convincing, but the story line drew the viewer into the movie.  There were actually people clapping and cheering around us at different parts.  It was amazing, but it wasn’t true.

I know, I know your saying, “Duh! Dad, That’s the point.” But I want you to hear me out on this one.  We can see things projected on a screen that amaze us.  We can allow our imaginations to be invited along on a journey such as this, but we have to understand that this is fantasy.   Fantasy can’t inform our logic.  Remember, I told you a story about a kid who said he believed that all the miracles of the Bible could be explained by aliens.  His interest in science fiction had lead him so far as to believe it more rational for aliens to manipulate us than to believe that God could work in His own creation.

You are an intelligent young man.  I am proud of your ability to reason.  As I have told you countless times before the faith I hold is my own.  I have taught you truth about God, but you must use your own mind to engage the truth about God and come to your own place of faith in Him.  It is not enough to blindly follow me on the path I tread.  You must seek wisdom for yourself.  Your eyes must be open.

2. We Don’t Have to Look to the Movies to See Injustice

You have grown so much from the little infant that once peed on me.  I can see you becoming a man more and more each day.  You are taking on responsability and helping others.

Do you remember how people were cheering in the movie during the battles scenes?  The director did a great job of creating a sense of injustice.  Did you see the look on the alien faces when their home was being destroyed?  There was so much sorrow and so much anguish.  But that was just a movie.  In parts of our world today, even in our city, there is injustice.  People are being taken advantage of and hurt many times just because of their ethnicity or their beliefs.

It is our responsibility to challenge injustice when we see it.  Ultimately all injustice will find its day in the court of our high King who will call for a reckoning of the living and the dead.  Every evil dead or act of wickedness will be exposed and called into account.  Hell is not a doctrine contrived so that people would conform to faith.  Hell is the reality and logical end God’s justice.  It is also what makes his love and mercy poured out in Christ so amazing.

That is why we seek to go out of our way to tell others about God.  Not only because He is just, but because He is loving.  All of us have sinned against others and been sinned against.  We all need justice and forgiveness that can only be found in Jesus.

3. Living Vicariously Doesn’t Equal Real Living

I am proud of you for the work ethic that you have developed.  I know at times that it was difficult when your mother and I limited the screen time that you absorbed.  The truth is that football games, movies (like avatar) and video games are all entertaining, but there is so much more to life than entertainment.

There is a whole sense in this movie where Jake becomes the Avatar.  At first its like a video game, but then the lines between his world and the rest of Pandora blend.  This may fit well for a movie plot, but it does not bode well for real life.  As you grow older and take on the responsabilities of being a man you will have to choose for yourself how you spend your time.  My desire is that you would choose to engage in this life fully.

I knew guys who flunked out of college because they stayed up late playing video games.  In the end the video games and TV won’t last.  The exercise we get from watching SEC football games doesn’t count for us like it does for they guys who are in the game.  My prayer for you is that when it comes to how you will live your life and the decisions you make, that you are fully engaged.

While there is more that could be said and discussed about the movie.  I thought these three points were worth talking about briefly.

    • 3 Annoying Things I’m Glad My Parents Did When I Was a Teenager.

    On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, Family, parenting1 Comment

    So its been a while since I’ve been a teenager.  I was a teenager in the boring decade of the 90’s.  Long before Text Messaging, Facebook, YouTube, Ipods and  really cool video games (I grew up with Mario brothers and Contra on the original Nintendo) .  While lots of things have changed around the teenage world since then, there are somethings that just won’t change.  One of those things is how important it is for parents to be involved in the lives of their teenagers.

    Here is a look back at 3 things that were really annoying to me as a teenager that I now look back and am thankful for.  I guess at the time my parents were more concerned with being a good mom and dad, than in winning my one vote popularity contest.  I thought they were clueless… It turns out they had way more common sense than I thought.

    1. They Insisted on Regular Weekly Family Time.

    As a teenager I often had “more important” places to be or things to do.  It usually involved hanging out with my friends or talking on the phone to the girl I really liked (again, this was before texting and facebook).  My parents didn’t mind these activities, but they set some pretty stiff boundaries around our family time that often conflicted with my desires.  I can still remember to this day my dad telling me I had 5 minutes to get off the phone or I had to be back by 7 because of family time.  Our family time most often existed of sharing prayer concerns, reading scripture, and praying… At the time I thought it was boring.  I now look back at this time as the center (the one place we could all come back to) that kept our family together during some rough times.

    2. They Set a Reasonable Hour for Curfew.

    My parents would ask about what I was up to.  At the time I just thought they were being a little overbearing and didn’t really have a life of their own so they had to make mine difficult.   I now realize they just really cared and wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing something stupid. I would tell them about the activity… A movie, ball game, etc. and they would tell me a reasonable time to be home.  Sometimes my curfew was midnight, sometimes it was 7PM.  It mattered to them where I was and what I was doing.  I could call and renegotiate if plans changed and you got invited to someones house or wanted to stop by McDonalds with your friends  (back then you had to use a pay phone or someone’s home phone).

    I remember one night I stayed out hours after curfew because I was explaining to a friend about how to become a Christian.  I thought for sure my dad would be overjoyed and understand the “rule breaking.”  But when I got home.  He was awake and waiting on me.  I shared with him what happened and he was genuinely happy.  Then he told me I was grounded because I could have called.  At the time I thought he was a jerk.  Now I realize that he expected me to be responsible.  He expected more out of me than I was expecting out of myself.

    3. They Stated the Obvious.

    When I was 18 years old and about to head off for college I made my parents sweat by dating a girl that already had a daughter.  My mom sat me down and shared the obvious.  Jon, “She has a kid.” (I told her that was a little obvious).  Then she said, “God may call you to marry someone who already has children one day, but do you really think you are ready to be a father?”  She was looking beyond my interest to the interest of the young woman and said, “She is no longer looking out for just herself.  She is looking for someone to be a father to her daughter and fill a role her life.  You were just telling me about going to college in another state.  You are going down two different paths.  You won’t be able to go to college and stay connected with this family.  You don’t need to lead her on.”

    I guess I knew all that, but it took my mom stating the obvious as she had done so many times before.  And it wasn’t just over making bad decisions like investing 2 weeks of my life in a relationship that wasn’t meant to be.  I remember my parents telling me I did the right thing and affirming me over and over through my teen years.  Their stating of the obvious facts in an authentically loving way made all the difference in the world.  Sometimes I didn’t want to hear what they had to say, but part of me knew they were wiser than I gave them credit for.

    I am thankful to God for good parents who stood on some unpopular issues when I was a teenager.  My response wasn’t always joyful, but I knew deep down that my parents cared about me.  I look back now at the boundaries that my parents set up around me.  I pressed against them quite a few times, but mostly to know that they were there.  During the times when life was chaotic and stressful in our family the boundaries were one way that I knew I was loved.