Tag: marriage

The Second Best Thing In My LIFE

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, datingLeave a comment

Thirteen years ago today I was running around a church as nervous as I had ever been in my life.  My family and friends had driven from all over the Southern United States to be with us.  I wish I could say that I remember all the people who were there, the truth is their names and faces were all blurred. I stood at the front, ready to speak my part but I couldn’t be settled down until I saw her. Then it happened. The music played and she floated down the isle to me (escorted and tethered to the earth by her father).  It was a great day in the history of great days and the best part is that even though it seemed like a dream… it was all true!

We stood in front of a crowd and took our vows.  The pastor pronounced us husband and wife and let me kiss my beautiful bride for the first time.  We ran out the front doors and then came back into the sanctuary for a few last-minute pictures.  At the reception I learned about just what all came with marriage.  Her grandmother engaged me in an awkward dance of avoidance as she zeroed in for a kiss on my lips. unfortunately she won and pinned money on my awkwardly as if to claim here prize.

We headed out the door, where we were pelted with birdseed and were well on our way to our honeymoon.

As beautiful as that day was and as wonderful as it is to retell the story, it was just a day.  You see the second best thing that ever happened to me wasn’t a wedding, but our marriage. And marriage is one of those things that you don’t just look back on, you live it.  Everyday growing, learning, loving, giving, forgiving, holding, sharing, caring, hearing and walking together. Some days better than others, but always together.  And that’s the point.  Always together, through thick and thin, an ever-loving, never giving up, kind of bond that holds husband and wife together.  Its one of the most awesome things I have ever experienced on this earth.

Today we are celebrating 13 great years of marriage and looking forward with anticipation to God’s plan for our life together.

What’s the best thing that ever happened to me you ask? It’s the day that I learned that God really loved me like that.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
(Ephesians  5:25-27, ESV)

The 2nd Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me!

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan1 Comment

Six years ago today I was running around a church as nervous as I could possibly be.  My family and friends had driven from all over the Southeast to visit with me that day.  I wish I could say that I remember all the people who were there, the truth is their names and faces were all blurred behind the radiant beauty of my soon-to-be wife.  It was a great day in the history of great days.

We stood in front of a crowd and took our vows.  The pastor pronounced us husband and wife and let me kiss my beautiful bride for the first time.  We ran out the front doors and then came back into the sanctuary for a few last-minute pictures.  At the reception I learned about just what all came with marrying such a wonderful woman.  Her relatives pinned money on us and her grandmother engaged me in an awkward dance of avoidance as she zeroed in for a kiss on my lips. unfortunately she won.

We headed out the door, where we were pelted with birdseed and were well on our way to our honeymoon.

As beautiful as that day was and as wonderful as it is to retell the story, it was just a day.  You see the second best thing that ever happened to me wasn’t a wedding, but our marriage. And marriage is one of those things that you don’t just look back on, you live it.  Everyday growing, learning, loving, giving, forgiving, holding, sharing, caring, hearing and walking together. Some days better than others, but always together.  And that’s the point.  Always together, through thick and thin, an ever-loving, never giving up, kind of bond that holds husband and wife together.  Its one of the most awesome things I have ever experienced on this earth.

Today we are celebrating 6 great years of marriage and looking forward with anticipation to God’s plan for our life together.

What’s the best thing that ever happened to me you ask? It’s the day that I learned that God really loved me like that.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
(Ephesians  5:25-27, ESV)

How I Courted My Wife

Review: Dad’s Bible (NCV)

On By pastorjonathanIn booksLeave a comment

Dad’s Bible: The Father’s Plan (affiliate link) is a NCV Bible with special notes written by Robert Wolgemuth geared towards fathers.  There is also a NCV Mom’s Bible: God’s Wisdom for Mothers (affiliate link) written by Bobbie Wolgemuth geared for mothers.  I really enjoyed reading my Dad’s Bible this past week.  The Bible is very user-friendly assuring that it is a good gift for dad’s who are new to reading the Bible.  The New Century Version is a very easy to read version and there are several explanatory notes that help the reader to understand cultural nuances.  The Articles by Robert Wolgemuth do a great job of illustrating the main principle of the text.

I would highly recommend this Bible to new dads and dads who are new to reading the Bible.  I imagine that it will make a great father’s day gift for dad’s who are just beginning to get interested in spiritual things.  It also makes a great reading bible, though I wouldn’t suggest it for in-depth study.  Originally I was planning on giving my copy away, but I ended up liking it so much I may end up using it on a regular basis as a reading Bible.

If you are interested in purchasing a copy of Dad’s Bible: The Father’s Plan  (affiliate link), the retail price is $29.99 (Hardcover), and is worth every penny.  It is also available at places like Amazon.com for $19.79 (affiliate links).  I gave it four stars.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book (affiliate link) free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their Book Review Blogger program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Review: Intimacy Ignited

On By pastorjonathanIn booksLeave a comment

I got this book thinking it would be a great aid to studying the Song of Solomon.  I now understand the intent of the book was more designed to examine sexual issues between husbands and wives using the Song of Solomon as a launching pad for discussion.  My understanding of the Song of Solomon has shifted over the years and I have come to a different historical perspective on the Song of Solomon which makes my view of the book come in conflict with some of the authors’ interpretation and main points.  None-the-less I still see how this book has some value for couples who may be looking for some insight into how God designed sex for marriage.

The authors do a great job of illustrating their perspective of the text and relating it to issues faced by husbands and wives today.  Much of the insight and perspective shared on sex inside the book are not new.  The book does a great job of illustrating the perspective of husbands and wives and how to navigate some of the more difficult issues.  Over all Intimacy Ignited: Conversations Couple to Couple: Fire Up Your Sex Life with the Song of Solomon is a good book filled with great perspective and counsel for couples on sexual issues.  However I would offer one word of caution… If you are not married, don’t read the book…. It really is written for married couples.

If you are interested in purchasing a copy of Intimacy Ignited, the retail price is $21.99 (Hardcover).  It is also available at places like Amazon.com for $14.95.  I gave it three stars.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Nav Press Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

True Love Waits

On By pastorjonathanIn dating, discipleship, Ministry, parenting, student ministry1 Comment

I had the opportunity to speak to a local Christian club on the topic of “True Love Waits” and thought it would be great to share my observations here (seeing as parents, student pastors, and even occasionally students stop by here from time to time).

Warning: This content is mature in nature. Parents this may be a good guideline for you to have “The Talk” with your kids.  If they are in upper middle school they probably have heard a lot about sex and it doesn’t hurt to have a Biblical perspective.

You can get a PDF copy of my notes by clicking the following link:  True Love Waits.

A few other places that might be helpful:

What a Father says to His Daughter on Valentines Day

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, dating, Family, Manhood, parenting, Womanhood1 Comment

I have a pretty amazing little girl.  She turns five soon.  I am anxious, yet hopeful as she grows older and approaches womanhood.  I have a huge responsibility in demonstrating the way real men are to treat women.

valentines day

I take her out for pancakes once a week.  She looks forward to it every week.  Sometimes she goes to sporting events with me, just the two of us.  We call these daddy-daughter dates. Every day she asks if its her day to have breakfast with daddy.  She loves me in a crazy four-year-old way and I love her like any father should.

So here is what I’m saying to my little girl this valentines day and will probably say almost every day of her life.

1. I love you.

Love is not an emotion, it is an act of the will.  I chose to love you and I will never stop.  I love you enough to tell you the truth, to act against your will sometimes, and to do what is best for you even when you disagree.  I love you when you cry over broken toys, scraped knees, and hurt feelings.  I love you when the world is pressing in and you need a place of refuge and strength.  I love you when you have disobeyed the rules I gave you that were to protect you from harm.  I love you when you dance and sing like they do on TV.  I love you when you dress up like a princes and we dance.   I even love you when you are mad because you didn’t get your way, when you are angry with the kid who stole your toy, and when you don’t want to share. I hope you know by now that I love you and that will not change.

2. You are Beautiful

You are beautiful.  You are beautiful not only in princess gowns, play make-up, and jewelry… your  beauty is beyond skin deep.  I am inspired by your beauty when you are kind to your brother.  Your beauty shines when you help your mom.  Your beauty is evident when you bring your bibles in for me to read.  You are beautiful when you challenge me to dance.  You are beautiful.

3. I am Proud of You

I am Proud of you for so many things.  I am proud of you for letting people know when they have hugged you for too long.  I am proud of you when you take the initiative to help others in need.  I am proud of you when you think of me or someone else and you draw them a thank you card.  I am proud of you for picking up your toys with a good attitude.  I am proud of you for wanting to teach your brother what few lessons you have already learned in life.  I am proud of you when you trust me simply because I’m your dad.  I am proud of you when you ask questions (and you ask great questions).  I am proud of you.

To Dads:

We are often good about telling our daughters about when they misbehave or things they could do better.  Somehow it is easier to notice what we don’t like or don’t value than it is to affirm the good that our children do.  It is important that we cheer them on and provide a positive aim as well. Valentines day (or any day for that matter) is a great opportunity to let your daughter know that you love her and affirm the good things you see in her character.  These 3 words of affirmation are something that all daughters need to hear from their daddy no matter what their age.

Resolutions for a New Year

On By pastorjonathanIn About JonathanLeave a comment

I have 3 main resolutions for this next year.  I actually have a LIFE plan with a lot more detail, but that’s for another blog post.  After having a brief conversation today with a stranger who is dreaming about one thing and doing another I decided that I should set in stone some serious goals for the next year.  Here are mine… What are yours?

1. Relate better as Husband and Father

Not that I think I’m doing a terrible job, but I’ve seen too many husbands and fathers drift from their duties over time.  It is really easy to imagine a loving relationship with my wife 5, 10, and 20 years from now, but the truth is that dreams don’t always create reality.  Having a good relationship with my wife and children will take time, intention, and discipline.  I have a strategy in my Life Plan, but its a little personal to share here.

2. Get into God’s word more (both personally and as a family)

Our pastor keeps a blog and comments on a chapter of scripture each day.  I usually keep up with that and read a few other passages each day.  I am also looking at creative ways to be in God’s word more as a family.  My wife and I used to read a chapter of scripture each day together.  When our daughter came along it was a little more difficult to keep her involved and so we shortened it to a few versus during family devotion time.  Now that she is almost 4 we are going to pick up something similar using a new tool for devotions.  My daughter is also old enough to start each day spending some time in God’s word.  Though she isn’t able to read yet I was thinking of moving her nightly Bible reading with me to the morning time (we have been working our way through a picture bible of the New Testament).

3. Live Healthier

This involves changing eating habits and making physical exercise a priority.  It also involves creating a better schedule and sticking too it.  I’ve learned that with planning and intention I can do more in my life with the time I have (this also involves planning for interruption).  We’ll see how it goes.  In my LIFE plan I check up weekly to see how I am living.  I’ll share more about that later… but how about you?  What resolutions do you have for this next year?

3 Christmas Meditations on Being a Parent (Part 3)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Family, parentingLeave a comment

3. Mary and Joseph knew that their son would be hated and rejected (Matthew 2:1-18).

Among other things the passage referenced above mentions the wholesale slaughter of all the children born in Bethlehem under the age of 2.  In the wake of this magnificent birth, angels singing on a hillside, and  a visit from the magi comes a horrific massacre.  It is only through a dream that Joseph knows to flee with his family and misses the impending destruction.

I am sure that the reality of caring for a wanted child set in as they traveled to Egypt.  Everyday they awaited the news that Herod had died and it would be safe to return to their beloved homeland.  Even when that news came, they made their way to Galilee to avoid Herod’s vicious son.

Now there may not be a king or president intent on killing my children, but I have no doubt that there are sinister forces in this world that would seek to destroy the lives of my children.  The forces of darkness were not silent at the birth of Christ and they are not silent today.  There are too many who die needlessly.  There are too many who are abused or injured.  In my line of work we used to see and counsel the statistic that one out of four girls are raped or molested by the time they are the age 18.  Sadly that number has increased to one out of three.

All around the world children are starving while we gorge ourselves on Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts.  Darkness covers our globe and we pretend in merriment that our houses provide protection.  We pretend that we even have the power to protect our kids. 

What if we saw the darkness and instead of running from it, we asked God to send us into the midst of it?  What if we were willing to get our hands dirty and aim our children strategically into the darkness so that by the time our grandchildren arrive, the world is a little less dark and the brilliant light of Christ can be seen more clearly.

The truth is that Jesus came into the world to destroy the darkness.  That same darkness destroyed the lives of many children in the town of Bethlehem.  But it could not keep them.  He would one day go to the cross and bear our sins, die a horrible death, and be resurrected 3 days later.  He promised to return.  His resurrection gives us hope that we will one day be raised too.  The darkness can not win.

3 Things I’d Tell My Teenage Daughter After Watching New Moon

On By pastorjonathanIn dating, Family, parenting, Womanhood12 Comments

Ok before I start its only fair to say that my daughter isn’t a teenager (she’s almost 4) and I’m really not a fan of Twilight.  But because I was forced to see the movie and I work with teenagers (and I can imagine my daughter being a teenager one day), I went to the movies with the eyes of a father.

Here are three things I’d tell my daughter after we watched New Moon together…

1. You are intensely loved by me and worthy of being pursued one day by the right young man.

My hearts desire is that you follow that path that God has for you.  If that includes marriage, then my hope is in giving you away to the right man.  Until then I will do everything I can for you as a father.  I will chase away the creeps, ask you great questions, and perform background checks on any guy that comes through the front door (ok maybe not the last one…but maybe).  I also promise that if you bring home the right guy you won’t find me cleaning my gun or talking about how people get lost in the Everglades and never come out.  In fact it will be a joy for me to give you away one day.  If you bring home the right guy, I’ll pay for the wedding and rejoice on the day that my princess becomes someone elses queen.

2. Some things appear more urgent than they are.

In the movies Edward says all kinds of nice things to Bella (once you take away the creepy 100 year age difference… please never date a man 100 years older than you… thats a whole new level of creepy).  Everyone enjoy hearing nice things like, “you make life worth living.”  Sometimes words spoken softly and sweetly can be mistaken for love.  Real love is a commitment and it takes time to show up.  Guard your self from giving your heart away to anyone who talks a good game.  This kind of talk can make you think that things are more intimate than they are.

Too many young men are careless with their words.  Many young boys are living life in transition and are mistaken in their feelings or they carry sinister motives and are trying to manipulate you. A young man worth your time will guard his words and will not lead you on.  The woman pursued by solomon in Song of Songs offers some wise advice here.  She says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Songs 2:7).  Real love is patient and is evident in a young man’s actions long before it appears in his words.

3. Don’t make strong commitments while your life is in transition.

You have grown up so much from the first time I held you in my arms.  You have learned so much.  Every day of your life I have been amazed by you and I am proud of who you are becoming.  I know one day that if it is God’s will that I will give you away at your wedding.

Right now you are going through a time of transition.  You are no longer a child, but you aren’t quite an adult yet either.  You are changing.  Your body is changing and your thoughts, attitudes, and desires are all changing. It is okay to change.  One of the problems with this time in your life though is that sometimes you may not know what you want.  Or you may want two things.  Like Bella in the movie you may have two guys who like you and you may like them both.

A mature woman will act decisively. Even as you become an adult, when you are uncertain I beg you not to commit yourself to anything until you have figured what you want.  This is the reason for the really unpopular rule about how old you need to be before you can date.  I’ll be honest.  My aim is to give you away on your wedding day both physically and emotionally pure.  I know that purity in your marriage will light an intense fire of intimacy and trust with your husband.

I love you and I truly want the best for you.  That day they handed you to me in the hospital was one of the best days of my life.  Everyday with you had been a joyful adventure. I will always be your father and I will always love you.

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    On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Family, parentingLeave a comment

    2. Mary and Joseph Knew they would have to let go.

    I wonder if knowing the destiny of Jesus (at least vaugly) effected the way that Mary and Joseph went about parenting? In a very real way they were forced to come to terms with letting him go.  Letting go can be one of the hardest parts about parenting.

    I see parents who are clinging to their children and holding on too tight.  Sometimes this comes from a natural desire to protect their children from harm (there are other reasons).  No one wants to see their children hurt and or know that their child could be in danger.  Yet, some parents take this to an extreme by hampering their children from being able to  spread their own wings.  Sometimes we grow so accustomed to making decisions for our children, that we forget the goal of parenting is to train our children to make their own decisions.

    Just like an archer has to let go of the arrow before it sails into the air and finds its mark, Parents are called on to release their children.  I think this happened in a very real way for Mary and Joseph.  They knew their was something special about Jesus from the start.  How do you raise the savior?

    How would we parent differently if we knew the destiny of our children?  What if God called them to the heart of darkness a world away?  Would we be prepared to send them? Guide them? even direct them? My prayer is that he does call them there and that we are willing to let go and even send them.

    To be honest each day I function on the edge of insanity.  Every time the road is wet and my wife and kids are in a car somewhere without me, I keep the phone close, praying that they are ok.  I could easily become compulsive about the safety of my children.  “No” could easily become the most dominant word in my vocabulary for no other reason than that “No” is safe.  But the joy of parenting isn’t found purely in seeking safety but in the risk of providing direction and  letting go.