Tag: love

50 Reasons: To Show His Own Love for Us

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, discipleship, VideoLeave a comment

The other day I mentioned that I would be reading Piper’s book “50 Reasons why Jesus Came to Die” between Easter and Pentecost. You can get the scoop here.

To Show His Own Love for Us

Perhaps the hardest part of the gospel for me is the personal nature of what Jesus did.  It is true that He paid the price of the sins of all who believe and so in a very real sense he didn’t pay for my sins alone.  But my sins were included.  This became very familiar for me when I heard the song, “How Deep the Father’s Love for Us,” again this week.  The part that really grips me is the line, “Behold the Man upon a cross, my sin upon his shoulders, ashamed I hear my mocking voice, call out among the scoffers.  it was my sin that held him there, until it was accomplished, His dying breath has brought me life, I know that it is finished.”

I have the Kendall Payne version on my iphone and listened to it about a dozen times today.

An Open Letter to All My Legalist Friends

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Just Thinking, Kingdom of God3 Comments

Recently I have been bombarded by all sorts of people with legalistic agendas.  To be fair most of what I have seen or heard in recent days hasn’t been aimed at me directly.  However, some of you are making it difficult for me to share Jesus with my other friends because they think that you represent Him.  They don’t know that your legalism is a vice and a sickness that actually keeps you from Him.   I’m intentionally avoiding the particulars and get to the heart of the issue which is demanding more of others than God does.

1. Its not about YOU (or ME), its about US.

Sometimes you ask me to do things or put away things that aren’t prohibited in Scripture.  Some of these things are great ways to connect with others and are really morally neutral.  Many of these things Jesus did himself.  But you get this idea in your head that if I do things differently than you that I must not know Jesus (or at least that I am not right with Him).  However, on many of these issues, your the one who is changing His Word to make it say what it doesn’t say.

2. I’ll Gladly sacrifice ME for the sake of US, but please don’t ask me to do it for YOU.

What I mean is this.  I don’t want to be a stumbling block to you.  I don’t want to cause you to do anything against your conscience.  I will gladly not do some things that might offend you so that we can hang out.  But when you go around saying that everyone must think the same way that you do on an issue (and your thoughts don’t exactly line up with scripture), then you are asking me to be conformed to your image, not Christ’s.  Again I love you and will lay down my freedom for you, but I will not subscribe to your extra biblical ideas.

3. Don’t forget that HE loves THEM

Somehow I think that in the process you have forgotten that God loves people.  Don’t get me wrong on this.  Doctrine is important.  But perhaps the biggest truth we can know about God is that He loves people.  Some of you are good at communicating your cultural rules as a standard of holiness but you have forgotten to mention that God loves people.  Please let me remind you.  He says it plainly in His Word.  Just read it.

John 3:16-17, Romans 5:8, Ephesians 2:4-9, Ephesians 5:1-2, 1st John 4:10-16

I really am hoping the best for you.  Truth be told, I fight legalism too.  Its easy for us to come up with extra rules (especially if we don’t struggle with the new rules).  We can feel confident that we haven’t broken the rules we’ve added.  The problem is that our rules aren’t always God’s rules and we need to know the difference.

Why We Hunt Easter Eggs, but Don’t Do Santa

3 Things You Should Know Before You Judge Your Friends

5 Ways for Dad’s to Be Involved With Their Kids

On By pastorjonathanIn Family, Manhood1 Comment

I am sure there are tons of statistics out there about how much influence a dad has in the lives of his children.  I am sure I have even heard a few before, but I don’t need statistics to know that I need to be involved in the lives of my children.  They are going to learn a lot about life from somewhere and since they were born into my house, it would be good if it came from me.  So here are 5 things I do at a minimum (and would recommend) to be involved in the lives of my kids.

1. Regular Quality Time

I actually got this out of my father’s play book.  Even though there were four of us, he seemed to find time to spend about an hour a week with each of us alone.  When I was younger this was usually a drive out to a bible study and back or a weekend trip to go fishing.  The way this works with my daughter is that we go out (or stay in) for a pancake breakfast every Friday morning.  Its a regularly scheduled deal that she looks forward to every week.

2. Read Together

I love to read (if you can’t tell by the rest of the blog) and often read several pages a day in real books just for school.  But taking time to read to my daughter is essential.  Reading books she enjoys ensures that one day she will like reading too and reading will open doors for her beyond her own world.

3. Play Together

This is a little tricky when you have a daughter.  Though I have played my fair share of doll house, tea party, and princess games, I really prefer to stay masculine and bring my daughter into my world of play. I’ve found getting outside is one of the best ways to maintain my masculinity and play on a real level.  She loves to swing and jump on the trampoline and I love to see her smile.  She also like sitting on my back while I do push ups or letting me pull her around the block in the wagon.

4. Share About Your Day

Most days when I get home I let her share about her day and I give her a play by play through my day.  We started this when she was 3.  At first I wasn’t sure if she was up to the task, but after a few weeks it kind of became a regular thing.  I’ve learned a lot about what is important to her by hearing her share her play by play of the day.  It only take a few minutes but has quickly become a highlight of her day and mine.

5. Use Strong Words of Affirmation

Our children need to know that we love them, that we are proud of them, and that we think they have great potential.  My kids hear that I love them several times a day.  They hear it when they wake up, they hear it when they go to sleep, they hear it when we talk.  There does not need to ever be a doubt that I love my kids.  Its not enough to show it, it  has to be said.

My kids also need to know that I am proud of them.  I let my daughter know that I am proud of her for setting boundaries when people hug her for too long.  I let her know that I am proud of her when she is helpful and when she learns the right sound for a letter.  By letting her know that I am proud of her it reinforces the posetive behavior in her life.

My kids need to know that they have potential.  I enjoy helping my daughter find a vision for reading if she would practice more.  Saying things like, “You are really catching on.  I’ll bet you will be able to read this book to me by the end of February” really sets a goal out there for her and lets her know I think she can achieve it.  I’m not just proud of her current actions and abilities, but I have confidence that she will grow.  My confidence in her gives her confidence to try new things.

True Love Waits

On By pastorjonathanIn dating, discipleship, Ministry, parenting, student ministry1 Comment

I had the opportunity to speak to a local Christian club on the topic of “True Love Waits” and thought it would be great to share my observations here (seeing as parents, student pastors, and even occasionally students stop by here from time to time).

Warning: This content is mature in nature. Parents this may be a good guideline for you to have “The Talk” with your kids.  If they are in upper middle school they probably have heard a lot about sex and it doesn’t hurt to have a Biblical perspective.

You can get a PDF copy of my notes by clicking the following link:  True Love Waits.

A few other places that might be helpful:

Review: “Spectacular Sins” By John Piper

On By pastorjonathanIn books, Kingdom of GodLeave a comment

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend the Florida Baptist Convention where I got a chance to buy a copy of John Piper’s book, Spectacular Sins at the Lifeway store.   Being a Piper fan and having read most all of his works I set out to read this book this past weekend.  I was refreshed with the candor and diligence with which Piper writes in this book.  The introduction alone is worth the price of the book.

After establishing a need for a more vigilant Christianity and pleading with the reader to be prepared for the advancing darkness Piper launches into an exposition of several of the spectacular sins that have been recorded in the scriptures.  He writes of sins such as the fall in the Garden of Eden, rebellion at the Tower of Babel, selling of Joseph, and betrayal by Judas and how through each rebellious act God was in control, turning evil on its nose and causing great good to come out of acts that were intended for evil.

You can find the book in hard cover it normally goes for $15.99, but you can find it on Amazon.com for $10.87 and even cheaper from Desiring God in paper back for $6.49.  You can find our more about John Piper and resources he has written and produced here.  The original sermons that have been recorded in print in this book can also be found free of charge here on the Desiring God ministry site.

I highly recommend this brief book (128 Pages) to anyone interested getting a glimps at how God can cause good to triumph over plans that were intended for evil.  It is an urgent message that is much-needed in our day.  I give it 4 stars.

Every Student, Every Neighbor

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Kingdom of God, PrayerLeave a comment

It was 4 AM and I couldn’t sleep.  So I just laid there in bed with thoughts racing through my head about prayer, how to pray, why we pray, why we don’t pray enough and who would be at their flag pole in the morning.  I was worried because I am not normally compulsive about simple events like asking students to show up and pray at their flag pole.  So I eased my mind and began to call out to Jesus for clarity and  for focus.  In my heart he began a burden that was more fully realized later at the flagpole that day.

Flag's at Ransom Middle School (iphone)

I stood around with a crowd of about sixty teenagers at a flag pole as they prayed.  I watched from my huddle of adults as hundreds of other kids piled around the court yard wondering what was going on at their flag pole.  My heart broke for the students.  Sixty at the pole and about three hundred on the outside watching, more arriving each minute.  As I stood there I could see it like a sign over thier heads.  People lost like sheep without a shepherd.  Words about addictions, struggles, and issues that lead to death filled my mind. Words like anorexia, school violence, drugs, depression, peer pressure, alcohol poisoning, drunk driving, bulemia, abortion, suicide, rape, racism, bullying… lies that people believe.  My heart was broken knowing that many have never even heard the name of Jesus other than a cuss word.

Then I called out to God from the noise in my head and pleaded for him to empower these sixty, these few to reach their school for Jesus.  Though much of the freedoms once afforded teachers and other adults on the campus were coming under attack in our area, one thing was clear… students still have the freedom to share the gospel and tell their friends about Jesus.

Yet peer pressure stands in the way.  That is what kept sixty around the pole instead of in the crowds.  Its also what kept students from finding their way to school on time and praying at the pole.  The older I get, the easier it is to see.  Like going on a mission trip and seeing the need in another culture, I look at students, now that I am a generation removed, and see more clearly than ever their need for the gospel.  Indeed, I am a missionary to another culture.

Then it struck home.  What about the place where I live?  What about my culture?  What about my neighborhood just a few blocks away?  Do I see the need there?  There is a need.  Though my neighbors have houses like mine, cars like mine, kids like mine, and experience the same weather I do, many do not know, or have not heard about Jesus.

So I transitioned out of thought and into thoughtful action.  Rebekah (my 3 year old) and I are out walking the streets in the evenings meeting neighbors and developing relationships for a bridge to the gospel.  My aim is to meet and find opportunities to share the gospel with all of my neighbors.

I am still burdened for our schools and the student culture (and their parents) that I have been called to pastor and be a missionary to.  My prayer is that as we pray and ask God to send laborers that students and families would catch a vision for God and He would use them to share the gospel with every student, teacher, and faculty member by the end of the school year.

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”  (Matthew 9:35-38 ESV)

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?”(Romans 10:13-16 ESV)

What about you?  What is your strategy to reach your neighborhood, school, or workplace?  Are you partnering with others to see Jesus proclaimed where you are?

Why Asking Her Dad Was Easy

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, dating, Manhood2 Comments

Avia and I decided that we were ready to be married.  Now all I had to do was ask her dad.  I know for most guys this kind of thing seems scary.  I generally don’t think it is easy to ask another man if you can marry his daughter.  I can think of a lot more comfortable situations.

Engagement Pictures

What paved the way to make this an easier situation for both her father and I was that we knew each other (though I can’t ever imagine being completely prepared for another man asking to marry my daughter). I had been hanging out at his house three or four times a week for years.  I had been getting to know Avia in the context of her home.  Not to mention that before we started dating, I asked her parents, particularly her dad, if we could date with the view toward marriage.

So when it came time to ask, though I was nervous, it wasn’t hard or difficult to muster up the courage to go see her father.  It was natural and easy.  I really respected Avia’s dad and I knew I was asking to take responsibility for his daughter.  Such things demand man to man conversation.

The details of the discussion we had are private, however, it is sufficient to say that two men met that day and discussed life.  The advice I received and continue to solicit from time to time was excellent advice not only on marriage, but on what marriage would be like with Avia.  I’ve come to the conclusion that no man, before her husband, knows a woman like her father.

With the blessing of her father, mother, and even her brother (after all I had inadvertently used him to get to know Avia better), I set out to propose.  I had the ring in hand, a bible passage to examine, and an anxious girl friend who couldn’t help but wonder when and how I would ask (it was hard for her to ignore that I had gone out of my way to talk with her father, mother, and brother individually).

Finally the time came to go to a Thursday night college Bible study that I was co-leading.  I drove by Avia’s house and picked her up.   On the way, I remembered that I had left a book in the sanctuary of the church and needed to go by and pick it up.  As we came into the sanctuary I had already arranged for all the lights to be off, except for one spotlight shining down on the altar.  The altar was empty except for a large bible open to Ephesians 5 and in between the pages there was an engagement ring.  I got down on one knee and said, “I’ve been reading this passage.  I am scared and I am humbled by it because I don’t think I am everything I need to be.  But it does describe the type of man that I want to be and will work the rest of my life to become if you answer yes to my question in just a moment.  Today I have a ring for you and I want to put it on your finger.  It is a promise, a promise that in a year from now we will stand together in this same place before God, before our parents, before a room full of witnesses and declare our love for each other and accept each other in marriage.  Avia, will you marry me?”

She said “yes” and something to the effect of “you talk too much.”  We embraced and read Ephesians 5:22-33 talked about how we would try and fulfill that passage and prayed together.  Then we went to a Bible study and she showed off her ring.  Eight months later we were married.

Grandpa’s Secret Strategy for Successful Dating: And Why it Worked

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, Family, Manhood, WomanhoodLeave a comment

I have this Bible at home.  It is worn out and falling apart from years of use.  It belonged to my grandfather.  The notes and circled verses in the Bible tell of his conversion to Christianity, his love for his wife, and a few other details.  He was one of the greatest men I have ever known.  Though he wasn’t perfect, he was consistent as a role-model.  I used to love to sit with him for hours and hear stories about him and grandma.  I figured if anyone knew how to live out what it means to be a Christian in the context of a marriage, it was him.  So one day, a year or two before he passed away I had the opportunity to ask him to reflect on what it takes to build a strong marriage.  I learned a lot that day, but the thing that stuck out to me the most was that he was genuinely friends with my grandmother.

Grandpa's Bible

He shared about how in each venture they undertook, from the farm, to owning a grocery store, to working together in a retirement home, that he loved having a work situation where she was never far and could be by his side.  They were truly great friends and worked well together. If I was going to use my grandparent’s blueprint for a successful marriage, one thing was clear, Avia and I would need to work well together.

This is really an important issue when it comes to picking and evaluating a future spouse.  Men and women were meant to compliment one another.  That is the gist of Genesis 2:18. God did not intend for Adam to tend the garden alone and made Eve to be his helper.  Men and women were made to work together.  So the question was, would Avia and I work well together?

To evaluate this and make sure we were building a relationship on trust rather than emotion we took several practical steps.  We didn’t kiss for the first several months that we dated.  We searched for common interests.  We babysat kids together.  We cooked meals together.  We played indoor games like Scrabble.  We played tennis together (and learned its better if we don’t play on the same team).  We worked on crafts together (like sewing identical teddy bears and painting small ceramic houses).  The point was to work on common projects and see how we related.  Most of this we did in her parents kitchen or living room where they could see us interact.

During this time we also sought out the advice of couples of all ages.  We sat down with newly wed couples and asked what they wished they had done to prepare for marriage.  We interviewed older couples with grandchildren and asked them the secret to their success.  We watched them interact.

Through this process we learned a lot.  We learned to communicate.  We learned it was okay to disagree.  We learned what we liked and didn’t like.   We learned how to express our feelings.  We learned our weaknesses.  We learned our strengths.  We learned that we were growing more in love with each other.

Then one night as we were reading the Bible we came to Ephesians 5.  I told her we should study that passage and really start preparing for marriage.  She told me that she didn’t have a ring on her finger and I hadn’t talked to her dad.  She was wise to put a hold on the emotional commitment that such an action would bring until their was a serious commitment toward marriage.  It brought us to a serious point of reflection to see if we were ready to start making preparations for marriage.

It helps to be Mr. Right when looking for Mrs. Right: otherwise it’s all wrong

On By pastorjonathanIn Manhood, WomanhoodLeave a comment

So often when it comes to dating and looking for a future spouse,  the focus is on finding the “one person who was made for me.”  I’ve even heard speakers talk about developing a list of qualities you are looking for in a future spouse and stick to the list. That is really not that bad of an idea (depending on how picky your list is).  I actually had a list but the thought occurred to me, “what if I found someone who fit my list, but I didn’t fit theirs?”

At the time  I was being challenged to discover Biblical manhood and womanhood.  It also helped that near the same time I overheard a girl at one of the local colleges talk about her list.  After hearing her list and evaluating her lifestyle I  thought, “there is no way that someone who matched that list would marry her.”  She was just dreaming because her lifestyle wouldn’t attract the guy on her list.  She would either have to change or change her list.

Such thoughts had caused me to come to some serious introspection and I decided to take some time away from the dating scene (because of my failure to come more introspection before dating, I had proven myself a dismal failure as a boyfriend in a relationship throughout college).  I didn’t want to come to the table looking for Mrs. Right and not be Mr. Right.  It was evident there were things that had to change in me.  I was looking for needs to be met by a girlfriend or future spouse that were meant to only be met in God.

I was  unable to obtain Mrs. Right’s list (I didn’t know God would be so kind as to let me marry Avia) and I thought it was a little arbitrary to blindly make a list of qualities in myself that I needed to submit before God.  So I simply asked God for guidance.  In his kindness I was able to rediscover the books of I Timothy and Titus.  I began to use these books as guides to understanding how to become a godly young man. I also began searching out role models in my life.  Men of character and wisdom who would be wise guides and would give me honest feedback about things I needed to submit before God.

In the midst of this I discovered that one of the qualities of leadership is to be a one woman man (I Timothy 3:1, Titus 1:6).  God broke my heart of the disillusionment that I had been keeping this standard because I wasn’t married.  Though I wasn’t even dating at the time, I was putting on pretense in the form of flirtation that lead several young women to think I was interested in them.  Though I was single and not in any type of defined relationship, my failure to clearly define my friendships and my willingness to lead others on was evidence that I was not a one woman man (part of me loved the attention).  The details about what God worked in me and how it came about probably deserve its own post at a later time.  I only bring it up only now because I see many young single men (and women for that matter) who like I did are casting nets of wide spread flirtation in search of someone rather than baiting the hook with godliness.

    Choosing to Date Differently

    On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, Manhood, WomanhoodLeave a comment

    I remember the day that I called my mom and said, “Had I known it would be like this, I would have never dated.  I would have skipped every prom, homecoming, and barn warming dance (a Missouri thing).  I am hopelessly in love with the woman I want to marry and I just now realized that I have wasted my life  trying to be some other girls’ hero… I am ready to be a husband.” That statement represented a huge paradigm shift that took place in my life from being a serial dater to dating with the intent for marriage.

    Over the years God has blessed my wife Avia and I with the opportunity to share with many single people about how we dated (some would call this courtship).  Sadly the story I will share over the next few blog post will sound completely contrary to the dating culture.  I remember my own years of looking for “love” and going about it in all the wrong ways.  I have sat across the table from enough lonely and desperate people to know that things haven’t changed much.

    If you are single and looking for the right way to date hopefully these blog posts will be an encouragement to you about how God can guide you through this time of your life.  My aim is 3 fold.  1. I will be sharing in a story format how Avia and I came to be married.  2. I will be sharing practical principles and steps we took. 3. I will be sharing the scripture that lead us to those principles and steps.

    Stay tuned…. Here are some of the titles of upcoming blog posts