Tag: influence

3 Christmas Meditations on Being a Parent (Part 2)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Family, parentingLeave a comment

2. Mary and Joseph Knew they would have to let go.

I wonder if knowing the destiny of Jesus (at least vaugly) effected the way that Mary and Joseph went about parenting? In a very real way they were forced to come to terms with letting him go.  Letting go can be one of the hardest parts about parenting.

I see parents who are clinging to their children and holding on too tight.  Sometimes this comes from a natural desire to protect their children from harm (there are other reasons).  No one wants to see their children hurt and or know that their child could be in danger.  Yet, some parents take this to an extreme by hampering their children from being able to  spread their own wings.  Sometimes we grow so accustomed to making decisions for our children, that we forget the goal of parenting is to train our children to make their own decisions.

Just like an archer has to let go of the arrow before it sails into the air and finds its mark, Parents are called on to release their children.  I think this happened in a very real way for Mary and Joseph.  They knew their was something special about Jesus from the start.  How do you raise the savior?

How would we parent differently if we knew the destiny of our children?  What if God called them to the heart of darkness a world away?  Would we be prepared to send them? Guide them? even direct them? My prayer is that he does call them there and that we are willing to let go and even send them.

To be honest each day I function on the edge of insanity.  Every time the road is wet and my wife and kids are in a car somewhere without me, I keep the phone close, praying that they are ok.  I could easily become compulsive about the safety of my children.  “No” could easily become the most dominant word in my vocabulary for no other reason than that “No” is safe.  But the joy of parenting isn’t found purely in seeking safety but in the risk of providing direction and  letting go.

Review: “Spectacular Sins” By John Piper

On By pastorjonathanIn books, Kingdom of GodLeave a comment

A couple of weeks ago I had the opportunity to attend the Florida Baptist Convention where I got a chance to buy a copy of John Piper’s book, Spectacular Sins at the Lifeway store.   Being a Piper fan and having read most all of his works I set out to read this book this past weekend.  I was refreshed with the candor and diligence with which Piper writes in this book.  The introduction alone is worth the price of the book.

After establishing a need for a more vigilant Christianity and pleading with the reader to be prepared for the advancing darkness Piper launches into an exposition of several of the spectacular sins that have been recorded in the scriptures.  He writes of sins such as the fall in the Garden of Eden, rebellion at the Tower of Babel, selling of Joseph, and betrayal by Judas and how through each rebellious act God was in control, turning evil on its nose and causing great good to come out of acts that were intended for evil.

You can find the book in hard cover it normally goes for $15.99, but you can find it on Amazon.com for $10.87 and even cheaper from Desiring God in paper back for $6.49.  You can find our more about John Piper and resources he has written and produced here.  The original sermons that have been recorded in print in this book can also be found free of charge here on the Desiring God ministry site.

I highly recommend this brief book (128 Pages) to anyone interested getting a glimps at how God can cause good to triumph over plans that were intended for evil.  It is an urgent message that is much-needed in our day.  I give it 4 stars.

7 Leadership Lessons from the Life of Alfred the Great

On By pastorjonathanIn leadershipLeave a comment

Okay So I read this amazing book about the life of Alfred the Great this weekend an wrote a short review that you can find here.  Then it came time for me to find a spot on my shelf and I started trying to figure out which section of my shelves it needed to be stored under and three categories came to mind.  Obviously historical biography because that is the genera in which it is written, but Alfred also demonstrated unwavering Christian Character and sought to evangelize viking leaders who were tearing into his territory and then there are the amazing leadership principles I gleaned from reading the book.  In the end I put it in the leadership category due to the amazing leadership characteristics that I saw displayed in Alfred throughout the book.

7 Leadership Lessons from the Life of Alfred the Great

 

1. Never give up on what really matters.

Even when he was betrayed by some of his countrymen and forced to flee to the swamp with his family, Alfred sought out ways to demonstrate that he was still the king and would defend his homeland.  He never completely abandoned hope, gave up, or ran away.  He stood his ground despite dismal circumstances.  He rallied troops to come to his aid and eventually fought back the viking hoards and won victory. Yet even in fighting back the vikings, he demonstrated a noble and Christian character in dealing mercifully with a savage enemy.

2. Don’t Ask People to do What you are Not Willing to do.

Alfred lead his troops to battle time and time again.  This was normal practice for an Anglo-Saxon king.  He demonstrated valor in the midst of battle.  He asked his men only to go so far as he was willing to go himself.  This was true both on and off the battle field.  Even in the sweeping reforms he would make concerning literacy in his nation, he first modeled by taking it upon himself to learn Latin as an Adult.  Furthermore when it came time for his scholars to translate Latin works into Anglo-Saxon, Alfred was the final translator.

3. Learn from your Mistakes.

Alfred made a few mistakes early on.  One was not pursuing the vikings once his men had them on the run.  The vikings soon learned that they were not being pursued, regrouped, came back and attacked Alfred’s celebrating troops and won the victory.  Never again did Alfred allow his troops to celebrate before they had definitively routed the enemy troops.

4. Raise the Level of Leadership around You.

One of the main concerns for Alfred was the enforcing of the law.  He was discouraged to know that many of the men in positions of power under him were illiterate and unable to read the laws of the land.  Alfred insisted that every leader learn to read.  Those who learned well were honored and given gifts.  Those who were not able to learn surrendered their posts.  Alfred also revised the laws and did his best to ensure justice was done.  He placed a great deal of importance on keeping an oath.

5. Pass on Leadership  Lessons to the Next Generation.

Alfred’s sweeping reforms also provided that children would learn to read.  He also provided ample opportunities for his sons and daughter to see his leadership in action.  His son assumed the throne and carry his father’s initiatives forward.  Alfred’s grandson would eventually route the vikings completely and send them all home saving his motherland from their onslaught.  Alfred’s daughter would outlive her husband and benefit the people of her subkingdom by leading them out to battle against the Danes.

6. Seek Expert Help on New Projects, (even if it means going outside the organization).

Alfred sought the help of naval experts outside of his Anglo-Saxon kingdom to build a navy that would eventually patrol his shoreline.  He also sought scholars from beyond the border of his kingdom when he set his heart to learn Latin and to prepare Latin works to be translated into the Anglo-Saxon tongue.  Alfred got the help he needed from the experts rather than trying to start something from the ground up.

7. Meet Challenging Goals with innovation and Invention.

Alfred created a system that allowed a standing army to be ready year-round.  He developed fortified cities with in a days travel of one another.  He developed larger boats for his navy to combat the viking forces before they ever landed on Anglo-Saxon soil.  When he set his heart to trying to raise the piety of the people in his kingdom he realized that Latin would be forgotten within a generation and set out to translate the Latin works into English.

Alfred the great was truly an amazing man and an amazing leader.  I encourage you to get the book.  You can read my brief review here.

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Review: “The White Horse King” by Benjamin Merkle

On By pastorjonathanIn books, leadership1 Comment

The White Horse King: The Life of Alfred the Great
by Benjamin Merkle is an amazing book filled with great detail about the awe inspiring life of Alfred the Great.  Alfred was the fifth son of AEthelwulf  king of Wessex (AD 839 – 858) and by all accounts was unlikely to ever assume the throne.  Yet, through a series of unfortunate events aided by the viking raids on the Southern kingdoms of what is now called Britan, Alfred found himself wearing his father’s crown and tasked with finding a way to forge peace and prosperity for his people in the midst of viking rampage.  Alfred was eventually not only successful in repelling the viking onslaught but was able to initiate several military, cultural, and societal reforms that have set the baseline for Western civilization.

Admittedly I did not know much about Alfred the great before I picked up this book, I was just looking for an inspiring and challenging biography.  I found that and so much more in this book.  I was greatly blessed to glean several leadership and life lessons from how this noble Anglo-Saxon and decidedly Christian king handled adverse situations, dealt with his enemies, inspired a literary revolution, and raised the quality of leadership in his kingdom.

This is one of the best and most inspiring historical biographies I have read to date.   The White Horse King is an amazing book. The retail price is $14.99 (Paperback), and is available at places like Amazon.com for $11.24. I gave it five stars (and would have given it more if I could).

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of the BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Here are some other book reviews:

3 Keys to a Good Disciple Now Weekend (Part: 2)

On By pastorjonathanIn student ministryLeave a comment

The Leader

The second key to planning a great Disciple Now weekend is the leaders.  Once the theme is figured out, it is time to figure out who will be leading your small group bible studies in the homes.  I used to get college students from the local Christian University or BCM (Baptist Campus Ministries) group to help me out on this one.  However, as I have had opportunity to be a youth pastor in one church for an extended period of time, I have enjoyed having kids who have come through the program start leading small groups once they have hit college.  Its great for the younger students to see a student who has come all the way through the student ministry and its good for the leaders to be able to give something back to the group they came from.  On top of that, I get to test the kids who have been under my teaching and provide them with further opportunities for growth and experience.

Wherever you get your leaders, the key is that they exhibit a growing relationship with God.  At the end of the day you want someone who will reinforce what it looks like to grow and mature in a relationship with God.  I like the idea of college students because it gives your students a good role model for their next steps on the journey.

Even though I generally know my leaders before they come lead the Disciple Now weekend.  I generally like to sit down with them a month or two before the weekend and brief them on the Theme, the idea of what kids will be in their group, and the material they will be teaching through.  I also like to catch up and find out how things are progressing at school and what God is teaching them.
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3 Keys to a Good Disciple Now Weekend (Part: 1)

On By pastorjonathanIn discipleship, student ministryLeave a comment

Ok are you ready?  I am about to share the three keys for an awesome Disciple Now weekend.  This might surprise some of you, but I am not about to say, “The Band, The Speaker, and the T-shirts,” though those may be important in their own right.  There are 3 other things that I have seen bring about more lasting change than any band, speaker, or T-shirt has ever done.  In my estimation, if you can get these 3 right you can make up for a bad band or t-shirt (its really hard to make up for a bad speaker so we’ll make him the unofficial 4th key to a good D-Now Weekend).

www.mrg.bz So1lxO

1. The Theme (go large view over small view)

When designing a D-Now Weekend I like to start with the theme.  Generally speaking there are a lot of good and average themes out there (and I’ve done some of them).  You have your run of the mill, “back to the basics,” “true love waits,” etc, etc…  truth be told these are not bad themes.  They just lack the substance I am looking for.  If I’m going to invest the man hours that it takes to pull of a great disciple now weekend I want a theme that my students see practically 8 months down the road. (meaning they remember the theme as well as the event, and more importantly apply it to life.)

So what does that look like?  Take the “True Love Waits” theme and think about it.  Is that really the big issue?  What do you want to teach your kids? “Don’t have sex until you are married? Waiting for Sex is good?  Purity is better than impurity?”  Nothing overtly wrong with those statements, but what if you had the chance to cover the whole “don’t have Sex until you are married” theme put it in a positive light (give the kids something to strive for… rather than something to strive against) and at the same time lead your kids toward maturity in Christ?

How do you do that?  You take it a step deeper.  God didn’t just make you a sexual being he made you to be a man or be a woman.  The questions now isn’t, “will you wait?” But what kind of man or woman will you be?  The challenge changes from waiting to being.  As a pastor I am not so much interested in behavior modification as I am in leading students into a growing relationship with Jesus.  While “If you love them, you will wait” is not a bad theme, it is a small goal compared to God made you for a purpose as a man or a woman.

The bigger theme we went for in DNow last year and several years ago was “Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.”  The point was to help kids understand who they were in God’s eyes even down to their gender, realize how men and women compliment one anther, challenge our guys to be men, free our girls to be women, and help them to know how to encourage one anther in ways they will receive it.  While true love waits was part of it, it wasn’t all of it.

So now months later I can ask our young men to filter a thought our an action and do it along the terms of biblical manhood.   It doesn’t mean they all drank the cool-aide and are running around using the lingo, but it does mean we have introduced a filter to a world view that will help them evaluate their actions according to what kind of man or woman they are becoming.  This year we are going to do it all over again with the theme of Servant Leadership.

I realize that this idea Biblical Manhood and Womanhood may be new to many of you, so I have included a link to a previous post throughout this article.
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5 Keys for Developing Long Term Strategy in Student Ministry

On By pastorjonathanIn Ministry, student ministry4 Comments

I’ve been asked to speak a few times on the topic of Student Ministry and here lately have had a few great conversations with fellow youth pastors about Student Ministry.  The following is a short version of my notes I have used on occasion.  The bold sections are a revision of my thoughts.

http://mrg.bz/C3Qy3c

The culture is changing rapidly and it provides us an excellent opportunity to examine how we should change our approach to student ministry. But there is one thing you need to know, even before the culture began pick up the pace Student Ministry was failing. The statistical data on Student Ministry is not pretty. We have a 75-85 % failure rate depending on whose statistics you read. To get a picture of how huge that number is…for every 4 kids actively involved in student ministry one makes it to church as an adult. Much can be said about why, how, and who obtained the various statistics but what I would like to do is use the current buzz around student ministry to help us evaluate our methods and begin exploring what success looks like in student ministry.

Create Long-term Goals

We need to create long-term goals for student ministry. Too often success in Student Ministry is measured in short term numbers. Nothing is wrong with using numbers to measure success. but are we using the right numbers? One sales job I had required you to wait 60 days before you collect your pay check. The reason was simple. People bring things back and you don’t get paid on what gets returned. (I’m not staying that kids lose their salvation, its just that sometimes they don’t really make genuine commitments. I’ve had students “get saved” at a concert because the invitation was offered in conjunction with a free bracelet from the evangelist. The were responding to a free bracelet offer and got counted as trusting in Christ. What is really sad is that i don’t think the evangelist was trying to cause this kind of confusion. He preached a sincere gospel message.)

Be Able to Measure

One of the key problems in this assessment is that most tangible numbers for student ministry are short term (decisions and attendance) and therefore get the most focus. Most long term goals in student ministry are intangible or we just haven’t developed a measuring stick and therefore in many ministries get little or no focus.  The questions we should be asking about student ministry isn’t, “how many?”, but “what do students who graduate from our group look like?”  Our focus needs to shift from entertainment with a christian vibe to discipleship (By discipleship I mean teaching our kids to know and put into practice the word of God in their lives… Not just know how to hotly debate side issues of doctrine.  Jesus tells us in the great commission that part of disciple making is “teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.” ) One of our measurements at a church I served was having students who are able to teach or disciple others.

Know where you are

Once you have determined the measuring stick, figure out where you are.  Get an honest assessment of how close or far away from the goal you are.  You may need to enlist the help of outsiders to give you an honest evaluation of your group.  If you are new to your position, ask a leader or youth worker who has been around if they know where the students are in relation to your goal of (bible reading, scripture memory, acts of service, leadership, discipleship, etc…) Ask yourself questions.  Ask your students questions  (Something as simple as a survey would work for “how often do you read your bible”)

Develop the playbook

If you set long term goals then you won’t achieve them overnight.  In fact, depending on your students, announcing your long term goal may backfire on you.  Sometimes it is better to establish short term goals that will help you get closer to your long term goal. For example, having students assist in teaching children at a backyard bible club is less intimidating that to disciple a peer.  The next step would be to have a student teach at a backyard Bible club.  Then maybe it is a student Sunday where students team up and teach adult classes, lead music, and preach.  Then maybe its calling on the older students to teach younger students in the course of a disciple now weekend.  Each one of these is a strategic step towards a larger goal of having students who are able to teach.  (Hint: celebrating each step along the way will help students develop the confidence and trust in God to take the next big step)

Stick around for the Results

Unless you build from the ground up or start with just a small handful of students it will take time to see strategy come to fruition.  If you develop a 4 year strategy and leave after two years you were only halfway through the plan.  That is kind of like quitting the game at half-time.  I know that sometimes circumstances are beyond your control or God calls you to go somewhere. But where possible see it through.  Discipleship is a lifelong commitment.

Balancing Ministry And Family (Part 1:Children)

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, FamilyLeave a comment

My dad was a pastor and church planter while I was growing up.  He would often work a regular job, pastor a small church, and do a bible study and some ground work in a community or ranch (sometimes up to 60 miles away) that would lead to a church plant.  Needless to say he was busy.  (Oh, and I forgot to mention there were four of us kids, all begging for his attention.) Yet, unlike several PK’s (pastor’s kids) I knew my dad always had time for me.  I never felt like I was in competition with the church or the ministry for his time.

http://mrg.bz/FSOPLN

Perhaps this was because my Dad was incredibly gifted in balancing his time.  I still remember the fishing trips to a bend in the river 15 miles outside of town, the fossil hunting expeditions, catching snakes, looking for arrowheads, discovering a dinosaur bone, and pestering him while he worked on the car that always seemed to stay broken.  My favorite memories though are the weekly trips we would take out to a Bible study he was leading.  I was blessed to have a 45 minute ride each way with my dad.  All along the way there we would talk about life.  All the way back we would listen to radio preachers like John MacArthur, Charles Stanley, and Chuck Swindoll.

So then fast forward several years and now I’m an Associate Pastor of Students, taking graduate classes, and have my own little girl looking at both the ministry and my daughter thinking (with all of my other responsabilaties) that there isn’t enough time in the day.  How did my dad ever do it?  Then I realize that he didn’t view his time with me and ministry as in competition, but as a complimentary.  Sure we took special trips to hunt for arrowheads or go fishing (Quality time) but along the way he was sure to get plenty of time (quantity time) with me along the way through taking me along on some of his ministry outings.

So I stole a page from my dad’s playbook when it comes to stretching the hours in a day.  I take my little girl to the sporting events that our students are playing in.  Last week we went to three different games.  She got to watch a basketball game, a race, and a football game all in one week.  With my wife being a stay at home mom and pregnant with baby number 2, this works out well to give her a little personal mom time while Rebekah and I hang out and cheer our students on.

We also schedule consistent father daughter hangout time.  Right now because of her age its usually pancakes at McDonald’s every Friday morning.  She usually hangs out with me after I run in the evenings and I tell her everything I did that day (which has evolved into her telling me about her day… very strange for a 3 year old).  Sometimes I’ll walk instead of run so she can “run” with me around our neighborhood.

How do you ensure that you are spending quality time with your children when you are busy?

Where has the Time Gone?

On By pastorjonathanIn Time Management1 Comment

When I was little Ifreeimages.co.uk photos of objects used to imagine all the free time I would have when I was a grown up and didn’t have homework.  I dreamed of all the places I would go, movies I would watch and fun I would have with all my extra free time.  I thought life would be easier as an adult.  Then came college and I quickly found my self busier than ever and I couldn’t wait to graduate.  Then I graduated and was a full-time student minister at a small church and I couldn’t wait to get married.  Then I got married and couldn’t wait to have kids.  Now I have a kid and one on the way and I remember the days of high school and college when I thought my life was busy. Now school, a half-dozen clubs, a few sports programs and a part-time job look like easy street and I wonder what I did with all my spare time.

I guess I have always had the same 24-hours in a day that every one else has had, it’s just that my responsibilities have multiplied.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining.  I have a beautiful wife that I love more than words can express.  I love my daughter and love to teach and train her in life.  I enjoy my job (well its really a calling to shepherd students and families).  And I really don’t have a desire to go back to high school or college.  I just remember when life was simpler and my priorities seldom ever came into competition with one another.

You see, it’s not really time that I am worried about.  It is the priories and responsibilities that compete for my time.  I don’t want to drop the ball as a husband, father, or pastor.  Really dropping the ball in any one of these areas can have a damaging effect on the others.  I guess the key is balance in spending the right time in the right area’s of my life so that I know I have given my best to God, my wife, my children and those I am given charge over.

These next few days I will be blogging on time, responsibility, and balance from a my perspective.  I will share some of the tips, insights, struggles and resources I have discovered along the way.  I realize life is a journey and I haven’t arrived yet.  Feel free to comment and share how you use the time, care for your responsibilities, balance your life or resources that you have found helpful.  I look forward to learning as well as sharing.

Grace,

Jonathan

http://www.twitter.com/pastorjonathan

Book Review: Obstacles Welcome

On By pastorjonathanIn books, leadershipLeave a comment

Obstacles Welcome book CoverObstacles Welcome: Turn Adversity to Advantage in Business and Life by Ralph de la Vega (President & CEO of AT&T Mobility and Consumer Markets)  is a great book  for leaders who are looking to hear from an experienced leader on overcoming adversity.   De la Vega has seen many adverse situations in his career and turned them to his advantage.  He recounts of the obstacles faced during hurricanes in South Florida, political unrest and diverse markets in South America, and the enormous task of overseeing the integration of Cingular Wireless and AT&T Wireless on a short deadline.. De la Vega takes the reader on a tour of his life and the obstacles he faced all along the way.  Yet at each point he is sure to illustrate the practical nature of the character and leadership principles that guided him along the way.

I appreciated Ralph de la Vega’s writing style.  When reading Obstacles Welcome I couldn’t help but come away feeling as thought I had been personally mentored by the man who wrote the book.  I got a glimpse into the challenges he faced early on in childhood that ultimately prepared him for the business world.  Though he shared deeply insightful and personal stories, he was careful to cultivate a leadership lesson out of each one.  The brief summary entitled “take away messages” at the end of each chapter were of a great benefit to me personally.  While the principles taught by de la Vega were not new leadership principles, they were taught in the very practical setting of real life.

This is one of the most practical books on leadership and adversity that I have ever read.   Obstacles Welcome is an excellent resource. The retail price is $24.99 (Hardcover), and is available at places like Amazon.com for $16.49. I gave it five stars.

Disclaimer: As a blogger I received a free review copy from the Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program  (http://brb.thomasnelson.com/ ).  There was no requirement to give it a positive review, just for the reviewer to call it like they see it.