Tag: bible

Seeing Sychar: Seeing Spiritual Realities in a Physical World (Part 4)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional1 Comment

Meanwhile the disciples were urging him, saying, “Rabbi, eat.” But he said to them, “I have food to eat that you do not know about.” (John 4:31-32, ESV)

Now the disciples are getting to know Jesus.  They were around when he cleaned out the temple, they may have been around to overhear Jesus talking with Nicodemus, they know that sometimes Jesus speaks a little funny.  They also know that they just saw him talking to a Samaritan woman which was a very socially unacceptable situation.  They also know he is hungry and tired.

Right now they see that he needs something to eat.  They knew how hungry they were when they went into town, they know how tired he was when they left him by the well, so they imagine that his number one priority right now is to get something to eat.  Jesus, you’re hungry, eat.

They don’t see a man on a mission to save the world, all they see is a hungry and tired teacher.  They miss the reality of who Jesus is.  They won’t get it until later, much later.

So then they start to look around and see if someone has taken their spot of getting Jesus lunch?

So the disciples said to one another, “Has anyone brought him something to eat?”(John 4:33, ESV)

They see themselves as providers for Jesus, they don’t get that ultimately He is the one who is going to provide for them.  They imagine that someone else has brought a party tray by and fed the master.  Perhaps they become indignant. It was their job to go into town and buy lunch.  Great, now they have too much lunch.

Jesus lets them wrestle with the issue long enough and then fills them in on what he really means when he says, “I have food that you don’t know about.”  They need to know that they ultimately do not provide for Jesus, but that Jesus provides for the whole world.  They need to see what really drives their master, beyond human appetite.  Beyond the desire to have a full stomach, Jesus desires to obey they father.  This is worship.

Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of him who sent me and to accomplish his work. (John 4:34, ESV)

He challenges his disciples to see past hungry stomachs and see hungry souls, to look beyond the physical reality of a hungry tummy to see that true worship is a heart rightly submitted to God.  What fuels Jesus?  The disciples must learn here that food is for the body, but worship is for the soul.  Jesus is seeing past the physical into the spiritual.  If the disciples are ever to be like him they must come to a place where they desire God’s will to be done more than they desire their daily bread.  Indeed later Jesus will teach them to pray to the father and before daily bread comes the request that God’s will would be done.

Now like the Samaritan woman before them, he presses his disciples to see all the people coming out of the city.  See them with spiritual eyes.  They walked into the city to get food, never once did it cross their minds to see the great spiritual need, but now they see it as the whole city comes out to the well.

Do you not say, ‘There are yet four months, then comes the harvest’? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest. Already the one who reaps is receiving wages and gathering fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together. For here the saying holds true, ‘One sows and another reaps.’ I sent you to reap that for which you did not labor. Others have labored, and you have entered into their labor.” Many Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me all that I ever did.” So when the Samaritans came to him, they asked him to stay with them, and he stayed there two days. And many more believed because of his word. They said to the woman, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is indeed the Savior of the world.” (John 4:35-42, ESV)

It was a common saying in the day of Jesus to say, “there are four months till harvest.” It was a way of saying, “relax,” don’t worry, don’t be in such a hurry, there isn’t anything you can do right now.  Our modern saying is something like this, “Good things come to those who wait.”  Here Jesus is saying the opposite.  He is saying, “look!  You didn’t plant anything and now there is a harvest field.”  You didn’t tell anybody in the city about me and now the whole city is coming out to meet me.

I can’t help but be reminded of one of our Wednesday nights a few months ago.  I was running around trying to get everything set up.  I’m a firm believer that service is more caught than taught and so I set out all the chairs, place connect cards and pens in the seats, open the student center, help count out the cash box, etc.  I also speak.

One of our girls was talking about her life.  Something told me that I needed to sit down with the band who was already engaged in talking with her.  She had several great questions and we listened and prayed with her and then it struck me that God was really dealing with her heart.  Long story short she prayed to receive Jesus as her Lord and Savior.  What was really interesting about the situation thought was that while she was praying, I was thinking, “you have this all backwards.  I haven’t even spoken yet. I’m supposed to preach and then people are supposed to respond.”

The truth of the matter is, it rarely ever works out that way.  Sure people may respond after a sermon, but most often times someone has been there before.  A praying parent or spouse, a concerned youth worker or Life group leader.  I may be the one that someone prays with, but seldom do I sow the first seed.

Seeing Sychar: Seeing Spiritual Realities in a Physical World (Part 3)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional1 Comment

The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water, so that I will not be thirsty or have to come here to draw water.” Jesus said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here.” The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” (John 4:15-18, ESV)

She says, almost sarcastically, “give me this water.” And then Jesus does something strange by telling her to go get her husband.  To us it looks like he is changing the conversation or we think she may have turned a corner and is really interested at this point in what Jesus is saying.  But Jesus is doing heart surgery here.  He is helping her to see who He is, by asking her to be honest with herself.

It is not as though divorce in Jesus day was unheard of, or that people didn’t get remarried, they did.  So it was socially acceptable to have been in one or more marriages. However, if the marriage ended in divorce, it was the woman who was generally though to be at fault.  And even if all her husband’s had died, the rule of the day was 3 marriages, beyond that and you were damaged goods. So for a woman to have had 5 husbands and shacked up with another guy there is no hiding the fact that she is a sinner and now this strange Jewish man knows it.

Jesus knows the weight that she carries around on her shoulders and he presses the conversation in a way that must hurt her.  I can imagine that her whole life is spent trying to ignore how many bad decisions that she has made; trying to avoid the stares of the town people.

Some people assert that at this point the pain is unbearable and that she is trying to focus the spot light off of herself and so she brings up a theological question; one to steer the conversation away from her painful personal life.  But that’s not it at all.  Her question actually centers on the proper place for a sinful person to offer sacrifices for their sins. Her question is about worship.

The woman said to him, “Sir, I perceive that you are a prophet. Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you say that in Jerusalem is the place where people ought to worship.” Jesus said to her, “Woman, believe me, the hour is coming when neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem will you worship the Father. You worship what you do not know; we worship what we know, for salvation is from the Jews. But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth.” The woman said to him, “I know that Messiah is coming (he who is called Christ). When he comes, he will tell us all things.” Jesus said to her, “I who speak to you am he.” (John 4:19-26, ESV)

This woman’s question is about the right place for worship.  When we say worship, we may think of songs and preaching, but when she said worship she was talking about making restitution for her sins.  In our day the question might look like this, “The Catholic’s say go to a priest and confess my sins, my Baptist friends come forward at an invitation and rededicate their lives.  Which way is right?”

Jesus answer is designed to help her see past the physical reality.  She is looking for a place, she doesn’t know that worship isn’t about the right place, it’s about the heart.  Jesus tells her that the place is about to be made irrelevant.  His sacrifice will be the last sacrifice ever needed.  What is needed is a humble and contrite spirit; an attitude of the heart.  She also needs to know the truth; worship the true God.

She knows that the messiah is coming and she looks forward to that day and there she makes a startling discovery and Jesus makes a bold claim.  I am the messiah.

Jesus declares that he is the messiah just in time for his disciples to come up on the conversation.  The next few verses will reveal their thoughts and we will look at them, but first see how this woman responds to his declaration.  It is as though a veil has been lifted.  All at once she see’s who Jesus is; she sees who she is; she sees what worship is really all about and now she sees her home town of Sychar different than she has ever seen it before.

Just then his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman, but no one said, “What do you seek?” or, “Why are you talking with her?” So the woman left her water jar and went away into town and said to the people, “Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?” They went out of the town and were coming to him.  (John 4:27-30, ESV)

She runs back into town, leaving her water jar (as if to say, “I don’t need it any more, I’m satisfied in Jesus). She runs to all those people who’s stares she has tried to avoid.  She is no longer worried about how they see her, she see’s them for the very first time.  They are thirsty just like she had been.  They need to meet this man.  Who cares what they think of her.  The reality of her situation has just changed.  Before her sign might have read, “looking for love in all the wrong places.” And now it reads “rescued from my sin and shame.”  She is different and she sees the world as different.

Her neighbors take note.  What has caused this shy sinner to now go running throughout town compelling everyone to go out to the well?  Something has changed this woman!

In the meantime Jesus is about to help his disciples see the spiritual reality around them.  They have just come from doing business in town to buy lunches for everyone and where they saw filthy Samaritans, this woman was now seeing people who needed to meet Jesus.

 

Seeing Sychar: Seeing Spiritual Realities in a Physical World (Part 2)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional1 Comment

Now when Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that Jesus was making and baptizing more disciples than John (although Jesus himself did not baptize, but only his disciples), he left Judea and departed again for Galilee. And he had to pass through Samaria. So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.  (John 4:1-6, ESV)

Between Jerusalem and Galilee was a territory known as Samaria.  Samaria was filled with a people who could trace their ancestry back to Jewish peasants who intermarried with the foreign people brought into the area when Israel was away in Babylon.  The Jews hated the Samaritans and the Samaritans hated the Jews.  Most devoutly religious Jews avoided the whole area like the plague.  When they had to travel between Galilee and Samaria they would opt to go a longer route and cross the Jordan river and head  north that way.  The fact that Jesus is traveling through Samaria shows that he is not taking his time getting back to Galilee and perhaps God has some big plans for Samaria.

We learn just a few verses later that Jesus’ disciples go into town to get food, leaving them at the well alone.  As he is sitting their tired from their long and hasty journey a woman comes to draw water from the well.  Now as she approaches the well, let’s look at things through her eyes.  Who does she see when she sees Jesus?

A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” The woman said to him, “Sir, you have nothing to draw water with, and the well is deep. Where do you get that living water? Are you greater than our father Jacob? He gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did his sons and his livestock.” Jesus said to her, “Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life.” (John 4:7-14, ESV)

Does she see Jesus, savior of the world or does she see a Jewish man?  She just sees a Jewish man.  A strange Jewish man, because men don’t talk to women in public and Jews don’t talk to Samaritans, so for a Jewish man to talk to a Samaritan woman, he must be strange.

Jesus isn’t content with her just thinking that he is a strange, thirsty Jewish man, there is a greater reality to who He is and he is going to help her see that.  He tells her that if she just knew who he was that she’d be asking him for water.  But she doesn’t get it.  Who does this strange Jewish man think He is… he doesn’t even have a pitcher to draw water with, how can he give her water?  Is he greater than their ancestor Jacob?  She asks as much assuming that he is just a strange man, never quite grasping that she is having a conversation with the Messiah.

The irony here is that Jesus is greater than Jacob!  The first readers of this gospel, like us would have understood that right away.  It is obvious that this woman doesn’t know who she is talking to.  So what does Jesus do?  He gently states that he is greater because his water satisfies where as Jacob’s well leaves those who drink from it thirsty again and again.

While she can’t see the reality of who Jesus is, He sees the reality of who she is and he knows that she is thirsty for a real relationship with a holy God and so his next move is to help her see herself.  Look at how she responds and what he says.

Seeing Sychar: Seeing Spiritual Realities in a Physical Wolrd (Part 1)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional1 Comment

WATCH THE VIDEO FIRST

When I first saw that video I immediately was convicted.  Too often I’m the guy in the first part of the video.  I get frustrated at things like traffic and long lines at the coffee shop.  I don’t ever pause to wonder or think that someone’s mourning the loss of their best friend when they pull in the parking spot ahead of me… I just think that they’re a jerk.  And when I get in the parking space ahead of someone else, I just think that their a loser.  (Just kidding!)

I do wonder what life would be like though if we really saw everything that was going on?  What would it be like if there were an eye-wear service that would let you know more than what meets the eye?  More than just someone’s emotional state, but who they really were?

Often when Jesus spoke with people he was pushing them to see past just what met the eye and see a deeper underlying spiritual issue.  In John chapter two he drives the money changers out of the temple and people ask him by what authority he does this… and he answers, “Destroy this temple and in 3 days I will raise it up.”  They thought he was talking about a building.  They thought worship centered on a place.  Jesus was talking about his body, worship centers on the person and work of Jesus.  They thought worship was making animal sacrifices, Jesus was saying, “I am the sacrifice.” They thought death defined their world.  Later they thought they could kill him and it would be the end.  They didn’t know that Jesus was on mission to beat death, deliver us from hell, and that his death was just the beginning.

Later in John chapter 3 Jesus speaks with a man named Nicodemus. Jesus tell Nic that if he wants to see the kingdom of God that he must be born again.  Nic doesn’t get it.  Nic thinks that it’s impossible for old life to have new life.  Jesus wasn’t talking about the physical, he was talking about the spiritual.  Nic didn’t understand that you don’t enter heaven because of who your parents are, you enter heaven because of who God is.  You don’t enter as a master teacher trying to offer God your services, you enter as a helpless babe completely dependent on God for everything.

Tomorrow as we come John chapter 4 and the story of the woman at the well.  As we read this story, as we examine this truth, I want to ask you to put on your glasses.  Ask God to give us a glimpse of how to see the world as He sees it.  Ask him to help us look past the every day and into the eternal.  Ask him to apply this truth to our lives.  Ask him to help us see people as he sees people

Seeing Sychar: Seeing Spiritual Realities in a Physical World (Intro)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, SermonLeave a comment

When I was in college I used to drive 16 hours to go home and see my parents.  It was quite a drive.  Along the way I passed by countless towns and cities all with their own off ramps complete with signs touting the local eateries, gas stations, and hotels.  Despite the long drive I rarely ever stopped.  In fact, I tried to shave hours off the trip by stopping only to use the restroom, fill up the truck and grab a bite to eat (Usually all in the same location).

Then one day somewhere in southern Illinois I did the unthinkable.  I pulled off the interstate and went to a town about 8 miles off the beaten.   I don’t know what prompted me, but as I drove through that small town I began to ask God to move in that place.  I asked him to reveal himself to the people.  I asked God to give me a heart for those people.

When I got home, I looked up the town on the internet and got all the statistical information that was available for free.  I wasn’t aware of church planting at the time, If I had been I might of been tempted to go plant a church.  The urge to pray for this small town was so great and so profound.  I ended up praying for the people of that town for about a year.  I asked God many times if I was supposed to go, but sensed his call to stay.

I don’t really know what that whole experience was for, other than this… I was never able to pass that spot on the interstate again with out a burden to pray for the people of that town.  It was one of the first times that I was able to see past my own needs to see the needs of others and pray for a town just south of the interstate in southern Illinois.  The adventure of going off the map in Illinois lead to my beginning to see the Gulf Coast and the people around me as a mission field.  God was teaching me to see people with His heart.

A similar story is told in the New Testament.  Jesus and his disciples are traveling from Jerusalem to Galilee.  Their rout takes them right through Samaria and by a town named Sychar.  Weary from travel the disciples leave Jesus by a well outside of town and go into Sychar to buy lunch.  It is obvious that this place is just supposed to be a stopping off point along the way.  But a conversation with a woman at the well changes everything.  The story ends with Jesus telling the disciples to look at the town and see all the people coming to hear about him.  While they were busy buying lunch.  God was already at work in the lives of the people and many professed belief on Christ that week.

I wonder if while we go through our daily routines and habits if like the disciples we miss what God is doing in the lives of people around us.  I bet the disciples started looking at commerce and buying lunch differently after that day.  I bet they saw Sychar differently after witnessing the town flock to believe in Jesus.  I imagine that the disciples began straining to see things the way Jesus did, looking for the needs of people and the opportunity to proclaim the good news of Jesus.  After all, Jesus promised to make them “fishers of men.”  And part of fishing for men is to see them; really see them and their need for a Savior.

Stay tuned for a series of blog posts entitled-  Seeing Sychar: Seeing Spiritual Realities in a Physical World


8 Free Bible Nerd Resources from around the Web

On By pastorjonathanIn blogging3 Comments

So I’ve been accused of being a nerd and even a Bible nerd at that.  However, in my nerdness I have come across several great links to free Bible resources.  Listed below you will find a treasure trove of links to some of the most awesome free stuff on the web.  Stuff like… Free downloadable Bible study software (complete with your choice of bible versions, commentaries, dictionaries, etc.), Free MP3 download of the bible for your phone (Iphone or Droid), free bible storying resources, free sermon manuscripts, mp3s, articles, etc.  So check them out, enjoy and if you have found some cool stuff not listed here… be a friend and share.

Free downloadable Bible Study Software complete with your choice of bible versions, commentaries, etc.  – http://www.e-sword.net

Free MP3 Download of the Bible (also available for your Iphone or droid) – http://www.faithcomesbyhearing.com

Free Manuscript Copies of John MacArthur Sermons – http://www.biblebb.com

Free Manuscript Copies of John Piper Sermons and books – http://www.desiringgod.org

an abundance of free resources concerning theology, sermon manuscripts, ethical issues, etc. – http://www.monergism.com

Free resources for Bible Storying and so much more – http://www.thejavaclub.org

Online copy of the International Journal of Frontier Missions, a great place to get up-to-date on frontier missions, strategies, and debates written from a scholarly (nerd like) perspecitve – http://www.ijfm.org

The resource library at the council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is full of free articles and PDF copies of books – http://www.cbmw.org

The Best book I’ve Read on Communicating Truth

On By pastorjonathanIn books, MinistryLeave a comment

Truth That Sticks: How to Communicate Velcro Truth in a Teflon World by Avery T. Willis Jr. and Mark Snowden is by far one of the best books I’ve read on how to communicate the biblical message.  I’ve read dozens of books just on the subject matter of speaking and dozens more on preaching, yet none with the simplicity and authenticating case studies presented in this book.  The idea is simple: The Bible has lots of truth telling stories and stories stick.

The idea is so simple that we were already practicing it with the non-readers in our house.  I’ve read the Jesus Storybook Bible to my daughter 4 or 5 times now just by reading a few stories per night.  Sunday afternoons we pull out a set of pictures we have that tell the major stories of the Bible and she asks questions about the pictures and I tell the stories.  I just never thought of teaching adults, or students through stories… that is until I read Made to Stick by Dan and Chip Heath.  Then I thought it was possible, but I struggles with how to go about teaching adults through story.  Then this book made it’s way to my hands and has become a primer.

To be honest another book is needed (and I think one is on the way) with more specifics on how to teach small groups, large group, etc. through the power of Biblical stories.

This book is a great for people looking to share the gospel or  help disciple others, Sunday school teachers, pastors, etc. I highly recommend it.  The retail price is $14.99 (Paperback), and is available at a discount at  Amazon.com for $10.19. I gave it FIVE stars

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Really Woolly Bible Stories (children’s book review)

On By pastorjonathanIn books, Family, parentingLeave a comment

Really Woolly Bible Stories is a collection of 16 Bible stories, illustrated for young children and told in a few short stanzas of rhyme.  Really Woolly Bible Stories is a great introduction to important bible stories for infants and toddlers.  I appreciate the padded hardback nature of the book ensuring that it can tolerate a gumming by your youngster.  Of course you know nothings fool-proof once your child gets those first teeth.  None-the-less this book is set up for the usual wear and tear that accompanies an active nursery.

I feel that this book does a great job of balancing accuracy with age appropriate censorship.  For example while covering the ten commandments the writer states, “Mind your parents, do not kill.  If you we, your vows fulfill.”  Which given in the context of infants and toddlers is a good introductory statement to what it means to commit adultery (break a promise that you made when you got married), without broaching a larger subject that is implied in the command.

I recommend Really Woolly Bible Stories to parent and grandparents of infants and toddlers.  Your kids will enjoy the thick pages, the art work and hearing you rhyme the stories.  Hopefully, along the way you will plan kernels of truth in the lives of the children you care about.   The retail price is $9.99 (padded board book), and is available around the web in places like Amazon.com. I gave it four stars.

If you are looking for a really great Childrens Bible, check out the Jesus Story Book Bible.  I can’t recommend it enough.  We have read through ours several times now.

Here are some other childrens books and resources I also like…

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of the BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

“The Treasure of God’s Word” by Jack Countryman (A Review)

On By pastorjonathanIn booksLeave a comment

The Treasure of God’s Word: Celebrating 400 Years of the King James Bible by Jack Countryman is more or less a coffee table book.  It is an attractively bound hardcover book with a soft leathery feel.  The pages have golden edge and the books general appearance is one of quality and value.  Unfortunately the pages themselves are thick and glossy, contradicting by nature the cover and golden edged nature of the work.

The Treasure of God’s Word is a celebration of the King James Bible complete with several small articles on how we God the King James Version and its influence through the years.  Stretched out between the articles are various verses and passages of scripture displayed according to theme.  At the end of the day its a great coffee table book, but not much more. Sadly once opened it lacks the elegance that it’s cover suggests.

Personally I was disappointed in how little genuine history there was to a book celebrating the 400th year of the King James Version of the Bible.  I did appreciate the encouraging selection of verses, but felt that they were under-served in their presentation.  Overall this will make a great coffee table book, but only for those who really prize the King James Version (almost to a fault).

If you love the King James Version of the Bible, its poetry and history… This book is for you. The retail price of The Treasure of God’s Word is $16.99 (hardcover), and is available around the web in places like Amazon.com for $11.55. I gave it three stars.

If you are really wanting to know more about the history of the King James Bible as well as other historical English versions of the Bible check out Wide as the Waters: The Story of the English Bible and the Revolution It Inspired by Benson Bobrick and Bible in Translation, The: Ancient and English Versions by Bruce M. Metzger.  These books are a bit more academic in nature, but provide a great resource for understanding the context from which the English versions of the Bible (including the KJV) emerged.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of the BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

5 Things I’d Tell my Teenage Daugher after listening to “Teenage Dream” by Katy Perry

On By pastorjonathanIn dating, Family, parenting, student ministry, Womanhood2 Comments

Ok before I start its only fair to say that my daughter isn’t a teenager (she’s 4) and I’m really not a fan of Katy Perry at all.  In fact I highly recommend NOT owning a single MP3, CD or whatever. But because Katy is a really talented singer who gets a lot of air time on the radio  and I work with teenagers (and I can imagine my daughter being a teenager one day), I thought I would provide a little dad like perspective.

Here are five things I’d tell my daughter after hearing “Teenage Dream” on the radio…

1. You are beautiful just the way you are and I hope you find a man who accepts you for you… “without your make up on.”

You need to know that you are beautiful.  Anybody can see that you don’t really need make-up… but I can understand you wearing it to make the other girls feel more confident about themselves.  You are beautiful not only in appearance but in ways that really matter beyond how you fix your hair.

By the way there is nothing wrong with being beautiful.  Your mom is the most beautiful woman I know. But just like your mom, your beauty goes beyond your appearance.  Your real beauty shines when you are selfless and giving to others (I Timothy 2:9-10, I Peter 3:4).

Something you should know about guys your age is that some of them can talk a good game. Sometimes guys will say something like “your beautiful,” but they don’t always mean beautiful like a flower (that should be protected and put on display)… they mean beautiful like a good cut of meat (that should be cooked and eaten).  My prayer is that God brings you a man who will appreciate your true beauty.

2. Sex is good and you will want to “go all the way.”  But just because he seems like the right guy now, doesn’t mean that he is the right guy or that it is the right time.  Wait for marriage.

God made men and women sexual beings. Adam said of Eve (before the fall), “A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Being a woman is part of who you are and as a young woman it is only natural that you would have sexual desires. The key is not to ignore this fact, but to manage these new desires in a way that glorifies God. As a young woman who most likely won’t be married for several more years it is important to guard your purity and have control of your body.

Many guys are living life in transition and are mistaken in their feelings or they carry sinister motives and are trying to manipulate you. A young man worth your time will guard his words and will not lead you on.  The woman pursued by Solomon in Song of Songs offers some wise advice here.  She says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Songs 2:7).  Real love is patient and is evident in a young man’s actions long before it appears in his words.

3. Sex is not love.  Inside of marriage it is an expression of love, but outside of marriage its an expression of impatience.

Adam speaks so gently about Eve his wife when he meets here for the first time. The first poem we have recorded is when Adam speaks to Eve and says, “She is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23).
Marriage is the right place to enjoy the pleasures of sex to the glory of God and without shame. Sex in marriage can fuel intimacy, but sex outside of marriage will fuel frustration.  At this point, after Adam says man shall leave his parents house for his “wife,” the Bible records, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25).

4. Every Sexual sin is a sin against your body and you will carry scars for you your whole life.

Paul writes in the New Testament to, “Flee Sexual Immorality. Every other sin a person commits outside the body, but the sexual immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). We can do lots of things that will damage our body, but nothing is as personal as sex. When we engage in sexual acts outside of marriage they have a way of robbing us. Even if they are asexual acts (sexual acts that don’t involve physical contact with another person like viewing pornography, masturbation, etc…). We are to flee from even the temptation of these things. Sex was created as a means of intimacy inside of marriage, outside of marriage it tends to destroy. What was fun for a season causes people to become bitter, calloused, and hurt.

5. If you have ever crossed lines sexually (by or against your own will) please know that I love you and you can always come home.

When you were little I used to protect you from things that would hurt you.  Sometimes I even had to make you angry in order to protect you from things you thought you could handle.  Like when you 3 and  wanted to use the meat cleaver to cut vegetables… You totally thought I didn’t get you or appreciate that you were just wanting to help.  I knew you had the best of intentions, but I also knew that you were not ready… yet.

I knew that there would come a day when you would be fully able to chop vegetables on your own.  My long term goal wasn’t to keep you from chopping vegetables, but to prepare you for it. If you had defied me and chosen to cut vegetables with a sharp knife you most likely would have cut yourself.  If you had cut yourself I would have run to your rescue, held you tight in my arms and done my best to stop the damage.

In many ways as your dad I have set out to protect you.  I have given you really unpopular rules not to keep you from an awesome relationship with a guy, but to prepare you for one.  If you find that you have stepped beyond the rules or were forced beyond, and find yourself hurt… please know that as your dad my response will be to run to your rescue, hold you tight in my arms and to do my best to stop the damage.

This isn’t a get out of jail free card or an excuse to try somethings out.  This is an honest plea from your dad to know that this conversation is not about sex, its about you.  Katy Perry has an awesome voice, but the lyrics of her songs promise more than they can afford.  When it comes to relationship advice, please listen to the old man who taught you how to read, tie your shoes, took you out for pancakes every Friday of your life and is still married to your mother… not Katy Perry.