Category: Prayer

When Church Hurts: Forgiving the People Who Have Hurt Me the Most

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, discipleship, Ministry, Prayer6 Comments

Earlier I shared a post in a series about how I became a follower of Jesus Christ.  One of those posts dealt briefly with a series of events that have marked my life beyond all others.  I shared about how my father had a stroke and was subsequently asked for his resignation as pastor.  This series of events occurred when I was 14 years old and still impact me to this day.

My initial response was rebellion and hatred.  For years I was bitter and clung to a hatred of the church in general and this church in particular.  It was a poison in my soul.  It wasn’t until years later that I would look back at this series of events and say with Joseph, “You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good” (Genesis 50:20). And with the Apostle Paul, “For we Know that He (God) works all things together for our good” (Romans 8:28).

The transition took place when I found a way to forgive this church and trust God to remove the bitterness from my heart.  In theological circles they debate this matter of forgiveness like its optional.  Some say that we have a right to hold on to unforgiveness until someone repents of their sin against us.  This is a position that I used to justify my greedy and unforgiving heart.

Then it happened.  I was confronted with the simple text of scripture.  Matthew 6:14-15 tell us that if we don’t forgive others as God has forgiven us, we won’t be forgiven. Some debate that God doesn’t forgive us until we repent of sin, but they miss the bigger picture.  My repentance doesn’t merit God’s forgiveness.  God’s forgiveness was purchased for me through Jesus Christ who died on the cross for my sin. God the offended, made the peace-offering.  As the offender all I had to do was receive the terms of forgiveness. I needed to agree with God that I was a sinner, turn from my sin and follow Jesus (repentance).

So now, if I was to forgive others as I have been forgiven I needed to be the one who would make the peace-offering.  That is what God did for me.  That is what the king did for the servant at the beginning of the parable in Matthew 18:23-35 when he realized the servant couldn’t pay.  He assumed the debt.  That is what the servant is guilty of not doing with his fellow servant.

So one day I made my way back to the church where it all happened. I sat in the back wondering how one goes about forgiving a church and wrestling with what to do. Then they did something peculiar.  They opened the door for the people in the congregation to share what the church had meant to them. I was resistant.  I had a burning inside that I had to get up and share.  Finally it seemed like they were closing the door for people to share and I awkwardly sprang to my feet and began the slow walk to the front.

By now the eyes of the congregation were on me.  They knew who I was.  I imagine they were all wondering at what I was about to say.  Some gave me an ice-cold glare.  Others had a sympathetic smile.  Still others looked on with a puzzled look on their face.  And I shared, “This church hurt me.  Several years ago, you hurt my father and you hurt my family.  You have left wounds on me that cut deep.  I carry scars and nightmares to this day because of what happened here.  But today I have come not to curse you, but to bless you.  I forgive you! I forgive you all for everything!”

At this point tears were gushing from my eyes and knowing we were at the end of the service, I asked to close in prayer.  I put my hands on their pastor and began to offer a prayer for blessing upon him, his family, and the ministry of the church.

Later that night I found out from the pastor and other that the church had begun a process of repenting of their past sins.  I was blessed to have the pastor pray and offer a blessing over me.  Today I pray for that church on a regular basis asking God to move in them.

Given my past it is somewhat ironic that God would call me into the ministry.  Since then I have been blessed to serve with two really great congregations (one for over ten years) and alongside two great pastors.

  • When Church People do Bad Things
  • 3 Things you should know before you Judge your Friends
  • Forgiveness
  • My Story: A Trial that Proves a Faulty Faith (part 2)
  • 7 Steps of a Unified Group

    • Every Student, Every Neighbor

    On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Kingdom of God, PrayerLeave a comment

    It was 4 AM and I couldn’t sleep.  So I just laid there in bed with thoughts racing through my head about prayer, how to pray, why we pray, why we don’t pray enough and who would be at their flag pole in the morning.  I was worried because I am not normally compulsive about simple events like asking students to show up and pray at their flag pole.  So I eased my mind and began to call out to Jesus for clarity and  for focus.  In my heart he began a burden that was more fully realized later at the flagpole that day.

    Flag's at Ransom Middle School (iphone)

    I stood around with a crowd of about sixty teenagers at a flag pole as they prayed.  I watched from my huddle of adults as hundreds of other kids piled around the court yard wondering what was going on at their flag pole.  My heart broke for the students.  Sixty at the pole and about three hundred on the outside watching, more arriving each minute.  As I stood there I could see it like a sign over thier heads.  People lost like sheep without a shepherd.  Words about addictions, struggles, and issues that lead to death filled my mind. Words like anorexia, school violence, drugs, depression, peer pressure, alcohol poisoning, drunk driving, bulemia, abortion, suicide, rape, racism, bullying… lies that people believe.  My heart was broken knowing that many have never even heard the name of Jesus other than a cuss word.

    Then I called out to God from the noise in my head and pleaded for him to empower these sixty, these few to reach their school for Jesus.  Though much of the freedoms once afforded teachers and other adults on the campus were coming under attack in our area, one thing was clear… students still have the freedom to share the gospel and tell their friends about Jesus.

    Yet peer pressure stands in the way.  That is what kept sixty around the pole instead of in the crowds.  Its also what kept students from finding their way to school on time and praying at the pole.  The older I get, the easier it is to see.  Like going on a mission trip and seeing the need in another culture, I look at students, now that I am a generation removed, and see more clearly than ever their need for the gospel.  Indeed, I am a missionary to another culture.

    Then it struck home.  What about the place where I live?  What about my culture?  What about my neighborhood just a few blocks away?  Do I see the need there?  There is a need.  Though my neighbors have houses like mine, cars like mine, kids like mine, and experience the same weather I do, many do not know, or have not heard about Jesus.

    So I transitioned out of thought and into thoughtful action.  Rebekah (my 3 year old) and I are out walking the streets in the evenings meeting neighbors and developing relationships for a bridge to the gospel.  My aim is to meet and find opportunities to share the gospel with all of my neighbors.

    I am still burdened for our schools and the student culture (and their parents) that I have been called to pastor and be a missionary to.  My prayer is that as we pray and ask God to send laborers that students and families would catch a vision for God and He would use them to share the gospel with every student, teacher, and faculty member by the end of the school year.

    And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”  (Matthew 9:35-38 ESV)

    For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?”(Romans 10:13-16 ESV)

    What about you?  What is your strategy to reach your neighborhood, school, or workplace?  Are you partnering with others to see Jesus proclaimed where you are?

    How I Learned that God is Faithful

    On By pastorjonathanIn Family, PrayerLeave a comment

    161992803_f87db32131_mSo I shared the story of how God touched my life with a group of men on Saturday night.  I talked about how I grew up in a small town in the middle of nowhere in Montana and the adventures I had as a child.  In the midst of it all I got to share my favorite memories from my childhood.

    The truth is I have a terrible memory.  My younger brother can remember tons of stuff that failed to register with me as we were growing up.  What I do remember is this… God is faithful!

    God heard my mother’s prayer to have a child after 2 miscarriages and gave me to her.  He heard my father’s prayer over my new born brother and mom when it looked like he might loose them both  (she had birth complications in a one doctor town in the middle of a blizzard in Eastern Montana).  He provided for our every need (especially when we were poor).  We would gather together as a family and pray about our circumstances and money would come in from a friend out of town or God would bless us with 60 lbs of Pinto Beans (you had to be there to hear the story).

    Later after my father had his stroke and was fired from his church I rebelled.  I ran from all I had heard growing up.  Each night I that I would come home drunk I would have to pass by my mothers room where I would hear her praying for me (she didn’t know what all I’d been doing).   God was faithful and heard her prayers and eventually brought me to a point where I met Jesus Christ as  my Lord and Savior.

    I learned that God is faithful through the prayers of my parents.  I’ve read the bible through 2 or 3 times now and understand every word to be true, but I saw it first in my parents simply trusting God in the midst of difficult circumstances. I pray that my daughter sees God’s faithfulness in my actions and response to circumstance.

    I share more about my story in a series of blog posts.  You are welcome to check them out here.

    5 Growth Challenges

    On By pastorjonathanIn Manhood, Ministry, Prayer, WomanhoodLeave a comment

    300819410_8dfff801d5_m Are you looking to grow deeper in your relationship with God?  The challenges below are a great place to start.

    1. Proverbs Challenge… Read a chapter of Proverbs each day.  Read Proverbs chapter 7 on the 7th of the month; chapter 8 on the 8th of the month and so on.  Our pastor Chris Aiken does a daily blog commenting on one chapter of scripture and a daily take away from the book of Proverbs.

    2. Journal Challenge… Take the Bible reading one step further and keep a journal that you can record your thoughts in.  I like to ask myself two questions after I have read and prayed thought the scripture: 1. What does this say about God? 2. How will I respond?

    3. My Story Challenge… Write out the story of how you became a Christ follower in 100 words or less and let me review it. Try use every day language and avoid words that are church specific.  Highlight three things:

    1. Life before you met Christ.
    2. How you met Christ.
    3. How your life is different now.

    You can see a version of mine in the “About Me” section of “Meet Jonathan.”  After it has been reviewed take the opportunity to tell others your story and get their input.  Post it on your facebook and myspace profiles.

    4. Teach others challenge… I encourage our students to take notes on the Sunday Morning sermon and the Wednesday night message.  Study their notes and then either through intentional study (like an established Bible study) or in regular conversation (“guess what I learned this week”) share what they have learned in a way that teaches others.

    5. Accountability Challenge… I challenge our kids to encourage one another with what they have been learning and doing in smaller groups.  I do this by sending out a mass text each asking for prayer requests from those who subscribe and sharing a verse that stuck out to me that day from my daily bible reading (usually from Proverbs since that is one of the challenges).

    4 Ways to Pray for Your Pastor in 2009

    On By pastorjonathanIn Prayer2 Comments

    161992803_f87db32131_mIn the book of Malachi a scathing indictment is issued against priests who cut corners and received less than acceptable sacrifices from the people.  The priests were called to a special office of mediation between the people and God which made the charge against their office even more significant.  In Malachi 2:5-7  God reminds the priests about the covenant he had established with them through their fathers.

    Pastors are not priests.  The pastoral ministry is significantly different than the ministry of Old Testament Priests especially considering the work of Christ.   Christ offered himself as the perfect sacrifice and now stands as the mediator between God and men (I Tim. 2:5, Hebrews 9:15, 12:24).   (This is one reason why we stand so staunchly against the Roman Catholic notion of priest as mediators and mass as a perpetual offering of sacrifice.)

    4 Ways to Pray for Your Pastor

    Though Pastors are not priests, there are aspects of their ministry that parallel the duties of the priests in Malachi’s day.  Pastors are responsible to teach and oversee the body of the church. (Piper does a fantastic job of fleshing this out so I won’t belabor the point.)  It is from examining Malachi in this light that I have pulled application from the failure of the priest in Malachi into four ways to pray for pastors in 2009.

    . . . . . . .

    So here is how I pray for myself and the other pastors I know:

    1. To stand in fear and awe of God’s name
    2. True instruction to be found on his lips
    3. To walk with the Lord in peace and uprightness
    4. To turn people away from iniquity