Category: Family

What is your Favorite Children’s Book? (Give Away)

On By pastorjonathanIn books, Family, parenting2 Comments

It seems like these last few days I have been covered up with kid stuff so I thought one more day couldn’t hurt.  But rather than me telling you about kids resources, why don’t you tell me.  I want to know your favorite Children’s book! It can be a book that someone read to you when you were a kid, a book that you read to your kids, a book your kids read or whatever.  In the comments section give me the title of the book and what makes it special to you.

I happen to have an extra copy of the book pictured above (This Little Prayer of Mine) and will draw a winner from those of you who post. (I’ll Draw on Good Friday, April 2nd).  If you win I’ll contact you via e-mail and let you know.  In the mean time here are some posts on kids stuff that I’ve done over the last few months.

Sammy and His Shepherd (This is my favorite kids book to date)

The Lightlings

The Prince’s Poison Cup

What’s In the Bible? with Buck Denver

The Children’s Storybook Bible

Jesus Story Book Bible

On By pastorjonathanIn books, Devotional, discipleship, Family, parenting, spiritual disciplines1 Comment

I finally found an Easter gift for my children.  The video below is from the Jesus Storybook Bible.  I ordered the Jesus Storybook Bible Deluxe Edition from Amazon.com ($16.49) and it should be in our home by the time this is posted.  After we have had a chance to read it through and evaluate it, I’ll post a review.  In the mean time check out the video below concerning the resurrection of Jesus and take time to show it to your kids and talk about the meaning of the resurrection of Jesus.

I was turned on to this resource from reading the blog of an old college friend Tim Brister, you can view his blog at http://www.timmybrister.com

What’s In The Bible (A New Video Series by Phil Vischer)

On By pastorjonathanIn discipleship, Family, parenting2 Comments

I was in our local LifeWay store the other day and had a chance to pick up a copy of the first CD of “What’s In the Bible: With Buck Denver,” By Veggie Tales Creator Phil Vischer.  Rebekah (My 4 year old) and I have enjoyed watching it together a few times.  I had her watch it once with me and then left it laying around and she has asked to watch it on her own a few times.   I was amazed at how much content was involved in each segment. I give it high marks for both content and entertainment.

The two video’s below are an introduction by creator Phil Vischer and the Theme Song.  You can also find out more information by surfing over to http://www.whatsinthebible.com.

5 Ways for Dad’s to Be Involved With Their Kids

On By pastorjonathanIn Family, Manhood1 Comment

I am sure there are tons of statistics out there about how much influence a dad has in the lives of his children.  I am sure I have even heard a few before, but I don’t need statistics to know that I need to be involved in the lives of my children.  They are going to learn a lot about life from somewhere and since they were born into my house, it would be good if it came from me.  So here are 5 things I do at a minimum (and would recommend) to be involved in the lives of my kids.

1. Regular Quality Time

I actually got this out of my father’s play book.  Even though there were four of us, he seemed to find time to spend about an hour a week with each of us alone.  When I was younger this was usually a drive out to a bible study and back or a weekend trip to go fishing.  The way this works with my daughter is that we go out (or stay in) for a pancake breakfast every Friday morning.  Its a regularly scheduled deal that she looks forward to every week.

2. Read Together

I love to read (if you can’t tell by the rest of the blog) and often read several pages a day in real books just for school.  But taking time to read to my daughter is essential.  Reading books she enjoys ensures that one day she will like reading too and reading will open doors for her beyond her own world.

3. Play Together

This is a little tricky when you have a daughter.  Though I have played my fair share of doll house, tea party, and princess games, I really prefer to stay masculine and bring my daughter into my world of play. I’ve found getting outside is one of the best ways to maintain my masculinity and play on a real level.  She loves to swing and jump on the trampoline and I love to see her smile.  She also like sitting on my back while I do push ups or letting me pull her around the block in the wagon.

4. Share About Your Day

Most days when I get home I let her share about her day and I give her a play by play through my day.  We started this when she was 3.  At first I wasn’t sure if she was up to the task, but after a few weeks it kind of became a regular thing.  I’ve learned a lot about what is important to her by hearing her share her play by play of the day.  It only take a few minutes but has quickly become a highlight of her day and mine.

5. Use Strong Words of Affirmation

Our children need to know that we love them, that we are proud of them, and that we think they have great potential.  My kids hear that I love them several times a day.  They hear it when they wake up, they hear it when they go to sleep, they hear it when we talk.  There does not need to ever be a doubt that I love my kids.  Its not enough to show it, it  has to be said.

My kids also need to know that I am proud of them.  I let my daughter know that I am proud of her for setting boundaries when people hug her for too long.  I let her know that I am proud of her when she is helpful and when she learns the right sound for a letter.  By letting her know that I am proud of her it reinforces the posetive behavior in her life.

My kids need to know that they have potential.  I enjoy helping my daughter find a vision for reading if she would practice more.  Saying things like, “You are really catching on.  I’ll bet you will be able to read this book to me by the end of February” really sets a goal out there for her and lets her know I think she can achieve it.  I’m not just proud of her current actions and abilities, but I have confidence that she will grow.  My confidence in her gives her confidence to try new things.

What a Father says to His Daughter on Valentines Day

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, dating, Family, Manhood, parenting, Womanhood1 Comment

I have a pretty amazing little girl.  She turns five soon.  I am anxious, yet hopeful as she grows older and approaches womanhood.  I have a huge responsibility in demonstrating the way real men are to treat women.

valentines day

I take her out for pancakes once a week.  She looks forward to it every week.  Sometimes she goes to sporting events with me, just the two of us.  We call these daddy-daughter dates. Every day she asks if its her day to have breakfast with daddy.  She loves me in a crazy four-year-old way and I love her like any father should.

So here is what I’m saying to my little girl this valentines day and will probably say almost every day of her life.

1. I love you.

Love is not an emotion, it is an act of the will.  I chose to love you and I will never stop.  I love you enough to tell you the truth, to act against your will sometimes, and to do what is best for you even when you disagree.  I love you when you cry over broken toys, scraped knees, and hurt feelings.  I love you when the world is pressing in and you need a place of refuge and strength.  I love you when you have disobeyed the rules I gave you that were to protect you from harm.  I love you when you dance and sing like they do on TV.  I love you when you dress up like a princes and we dance.   I even love you when you are mad because you didn’t get your way, when you are angry with the kid who stole your toy, and when you don’t want to share. I hope you know by now that I love you and that will not change.

2. You are Beautiful

You are beautiful.  You are beautiful not only in princess gowns, play make-up, and jewelry… your  beauty is beyond skin deep.  I am inspired by your beauty when you are kind to your brother.  Your beauty shines when you help your mom.  Your beauty is evident when you bring your bibles in for me to read.  You are beautiful when you challenge me to dance.  You are beautiful.

3. I am Proud of You

I am Proud of you for so many things.  I am proud of you for letting people know when they have hugged you for too long.  I am proud of you when you take the initiative to help others in need.  I am proud of you when you think of me or someone else and you draw them a thank you card.  I am proud of you for picking up your toys with a good attitude.  I am proud of you for wanting to teach your brother what few lessons you have already learned in life.  I am proud of you when you trust me simply because I’m your dad.  I am proud of you when you ask questions (and you ask great questions).  I am proud of you.

To Dads:

We are often good about telling our daughters about when they misbehave or things they could do better.  Somehow it is easier to notice what we don’t like or don’t value than it is to affirm the good that our children do.  It is important that we cheer them on and provide a positive aim as well. Valentines day (or any day for that matter) is a great opportunity to let your daughter know that you love her and affirm the good things you see in her character.  These 3 words of affirmation are something that all daughters need to hear from their daddy no matter what their age.

3 Annoying Things I’m Glad My Parents Did When I Was a Teenager.

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, Family, parenting1 Comment

So its been a while since I’ve been a teenager.  I was a teenager in the boring decade of the 90’s.  Long before Text Messaging, Facebook, YouTube, Ipods and  really cool video games (I grew up with Mario brothers and Contra on the original Nintendo) .  While lots of things have changed around the teenage world since then, there are somethings that just won’t change.  One of those things is how important it is for parents to be involved in the lives of their teenagers.

Here is a look back at 3 things that were really annoying to me as a teenager that I now look back and am thankful for.  I guess at the time my parents were more concerned with being a good mom and dad, than in winning my one vote popularity contest.  I thought they were clueless… It turns out they had way more common sense than I thought.

1. They Insisted on Regular Weekly Family Time.

As a teenager I often had “more important” places to be or things to do.  It usually involved hanging out with my friends or talking on the phone to the girl I really liked (again, this was before texting and facebook).  My parents didn’t mind these activities, but they set some pretty stiff boundaries around our family time that often conflicted with my desires.  I can still remember to this day my dad telling me I had 5 minutes to get off the phone or I had to be back by 7 because of family time.  Our family time most often existed of sharing prayer concerns, reading scripture, and praying… At the time I thought it was boring.  I now look back at this time as the center (the one place we could all come back to) that kept our family together during some rough times.

2. They Set a Reasonable Hour for Curfew.

My parents would ask about what I was up to.  At the time I just thought they were being a little overbearing and didn’t really have a life of their own so they had to make mine difficult.   I now realize they just really cared and wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing something stupid. I would tell them about the activity… A movie, ball game, etc. and they would tell me a reasonable time to be home.  Sometimes my curfew was midnight, sometimes it was 7PM.  It mattered to them where I was and what I was doing.  I could call and renegotiate if plans changed and you got invited to someones house or wanted to stop by McDonalds with your friends  (back then you had to use a pay phone or someone’s home phone).

I remember one night I stayed out hours after curfew because I was explaining to a friend about how to become a Christian.  I thought for sure my dad would be overjoyed and understand the “rule breaking.”  But when I got home.  He was awake and waiting on me.  I shared with him what happened and he was genuinely happy.  Then he told me I was grounded because I could have called.  At the time I thought he was a jerk.  Now I realize that he expected me to be responsible.  He expected more out of me than I was expecting out of myself.

3. They Stated the Obvious.

When I was 18 years old and about to head off for college I made my parents sweat by dating a girl that already had a daughter.  My mom sat me down and shared the obvious.  Jon, “She has a kid.” (I told her that was a little obvious).  Then she said, “God may call you to marry someone who already has children one day, but do you really think you are ready to be a father?”  She was looking beyond my interest to the interest of the young woman and said, “She is no longer looking out for just herself.  She is looking for someone to be a father to her daughter and fill a role her life.  You were just telling me about going to college in another state.  You are going down two different paths.  You won’t be able to go to college and stay connected with this family.  You don’t need to lead her on.”

I guess I knew all that, but it took my mom stating the obvious as she had done so many times before.  And it wasn’t just over making bad decisions like investing 2 weeks of my life in a relationship that wasn’t meant to be.  I remember my parents telling me I did the right thing and affirming me over and over through my teen years.  Their stating of the obvious facts in an authentically loving way made all the difference in the world.  Sometimes I didn’t want to hear what they had to say, but part of me knew they were wiser than I gave them credit for.

I am thankful to God for good parents who stood on some unpopular issues when I was a teenager.  My response wasn’t always joyful, but I knew deep down that my parents cared about me.  I look back now at the boundaries that my parents set up around me.  I pressed against them quite a few times, but mostly to know that they were there.  During the times when life was chaotic and stressful in our family the boundaries were one way that I knew I was loved.

3 Christmas Meditations on Being a Parent (Part 3)

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Family, parentingLeave a comment

3. Mary and Joseph knew that their son would be hated and rejected (Matthew 2:1-18).

Among other things the passage referenced above mentions the wholesale slaughter of all the children born in Bethlehem under the age of 2.  In the wake of this magnificent birth, angels singing on a hillside, and  a visit from the magi comes a horrific massacre.  It is only through a dream that Joseph knows to flee with his family and misses the impending destruction.

I am sure that the reality of caring for a wanted child set in as they traveled to Egypt.  Everyday they awaited the news that Herod had died and it would be safe to return to their beloved homeland.  Even when that news came, they made their way to Galilee to avoid Herod’s vicious son.

Now there may not be a king or president intent on killing my children, but I have no doubt that there are sinister forces in this world that would seek to destroy the lives of my children.  The forces of darkness were not silent at the birth of Christ and they are not silent today.  There are too many who die needlessly.  There are too many who are abused or injured.  In my line of work we used to see and counsel the statistic that one out of four girls are raped or molested by the time they are the age 18.  Sadly that number has increased to one out of three.

All around the world children are starving while we gorge ourselves on Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts.  Darkness covers our globe and we pretend in merriment that our houses provide protection.  We pretend that we even have the power to protect our kids. 

What if we saw the darkness and instead of running from it, we asked God to send us into the midst of it?  What if we were willing to get our hands dirty and aim our children strategically into the darkness so that by the time our grandchildren arrive, the world is a little less dark and the brilliant light of Christ can be seen more clearly.

The truth is that Jesus came into the world to destroy the darkness.  That same darkness destroyed the lives of many children in the town of Bethlehem.  But it could not keep them.  He would one day go to the cross and bear our sins, die a horrible death, and be resurrected 3 days later.  He promised to return.  His resurrection gives us hope that we will one day be raised too.  The darkness can not win.

3 Things I’d Tell My Teenage Daughter After Watching New Moon

On By pastorjonathanIn dating, Family, parenting, Womanhood12 Comments

Ok before I start its only fair to say that my daughter isn’t a teenager (she’s almost 4) and I’m really not a fan of Twilight.  But because I was forced to see the movie and I work with teenagers (and I can imagine my daughter being a teenager one day), I went to the movies with the eyes of a father.

Here are three things I’d tell my daughter after we watched New Moon together…

1. You are intensely loved by me and worthy of being pursued one day by the right young man.

My hearts desire is that you follow that path that God has for you.  If that includes marriage, then my hope is in giving you away to the right man.  Until then I will do everything I can for you as a father.  I will chase away the creeps, ask you great questions, and perform background checks on any guy that comes through the front door (ok maybe not the last one…but maybe).  I also promise that if you bring home the right guy you won’t find me cleaning my gun or talking about how people get lost in the Everglades and never come out.  In fact it will be a joy for me to give you away one day.  If you bring home the right guy, I’ll pay for the wedding and rejoice on the day that my princess becomes someone elses queen.

2. Some things appear more urgent than they are.

In the movies Edward says all kinds of nice things to Bella (once you take away the creepy 100 year age difference… please never date a man 100 years older than you… thats a whole new level of creepy).  Everyone enjoy hearing nice things like, “you make life worth living.”  Sometimes words spoken softly and sweetly can be mistaken for love.  Real love is a commitment and it takes time to show up.  Guard your self from giving your heart away to anyone who talks a good game.  This kind of talk can make you think that things are more intimate than they are.

Too many young men are careless with their words.  Many young boys are living life in transition and are mistaken in their feelings or they carry sinister motives and are trying to manipulate you. A young man worth your time will guard his words and will not lead you on.  The woman pursued by solomon in Song of Songs offers some wise advice here.  She says, “I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases” (Song of Songs 2:7).  Real love is patient and is evident in a young man’s actions long before it appears in his words.

3. Don’t make strong commitments while your life is in transition.

You have grown up so much from the first time I held you in my arms.  You have learned so much.  Every day of your life I have been amazed by you and I am proud of who you are becoming.  I know one day that if it is God’s will that I will give you away at your wedding.

Right now you are going through a time of transition.  You are no longer a child, but you aren’t quite an adult yet either.  You are changing.  Your body is changing and your thoughts, attitudes, and desires are all changing. It is okay to change.  One of the problems with this time in your life though is that sometimes you may not know what you want.  Or you may want two things.  Like Bella in the movie you may have two guys who like you and you may like them both.

A mature woman will act decisively. Even as you become an adult, when you are uncertain I beg you not to commit yourself to anything until you have figured what you want.  This is the reason for the really unpopular rule about how old you need to be before you can date.  I’ll be honest.  My aim is to give you away on your wedding day both physically and emotionally pure.  I know that purity in your marriage will light an intense fire of intimacy and trust with your husband.

I love you and I truly want the best for you.  That day they handed you to me in the hospital was one of the best days of my life.  Everyday with you had been a joyful adventure. I will always be your father and I will always love you.

  • Tell Me the Story!
  • A Few Thoughts on Fatherhood
  • 3 Annoying things I’m Glad My Parents Did When I was a Teenager
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  • What a Father Says to His Daughter on Valentines Day

    • Why Doesn’t Santa Claus Come to Pensacola?

    On By pastorjonathanIn Family8 Comments

    I’m really kind of passive on the whole Santa issue.  Though we have chosen to emphasize the birth of Jesus and to not teach our kids about Santa Claus . It’s not a big deal kind of thing for us.  If you teach your kids that Santa is real and put extra gifts under the tree it’s not going to ruin my Christmas.

    My daughter has always been told that Santa Claus does not exist, but some people pretend that he exists.  She still gets a pile of gifts under the tree, but they come from us and her grandparents.

    It really hasn’t been a big dilemma until this year.  This year she is a little wiser.  She knows a little more.  She is 3 years old and will soon be 4.  Now for the first time, and certainly not the last, she recognizes that not everyone is like us.  She has been surrounded by the Santa story this year.  We have watched a few movies as a family about Santa (all the while talking about how its fun to tell stories about Santa, but he is not real), many of our neighbors have Santa themed decorations and some of the other adults in her life (teachers, etc.) have been talking with her about what kind of presents she will get from Santa this year.

    She knows what she has been taught by her parents but to a 3 almost 4-year-old there appears to be an overwhelming amount of evidence that Santa exists.  So the other day she asked a question that took me by surprise.  She said, “Daddy, why doesn’t Santa come to Pensacola?”

    She had put the evidence together.  Santa was on TV, Santa was on display in our neighborhood, Santa was talked about even by the adults at church, so Santa must be real.  So we told her again that lots of adults like to pretend that there is a Santa Claus and many children believe that he really exists, but that we had promised her before she was born that we would always be a source of truth for her and we would never intentionally mislead her.

    In fact one of our core principals and my prayer for her every night is that she would be able to distinguish the truth from a lie.  Over the course of a few conversations the whole Santa issue becomes a great teaching lesson on being able to trust the teaching she was entrusted to and make wise decisions.  I thank God for it and am getting geared up for the next time we have an opportunity to drive home the importance of knowing the truth.

    So then her next question pops up. “Are the people who pretend about Santa bad people?” She asks.  Because, you see, the only other picture she has in her little world view right now is that a long time ago a snake in a garden deceived Adam and Eve into believing a lie and that is how sin entered the world.  She also knows that she will be punished if she lies to us.  Her natural conclusion is that people who “lie” or, deceive others into believing something that is not true, are bad people.

    Part of me is cheering her on, because I know she has a solid grasp on the story of the fall.  The other part of me is looking for a way to explain why people would pretend in Santa and take delight in getting others to believe he is real.  It’s a difficult positions to be in.  There really isn’t riding the fence on this one.  I either have to lie to her and say that these people are truly misguided (they don’t know that they are deceiving others) or tell her that some of the adults that she looks up to, do bad things just like the rest of us and that is the real meaning of Christmas, Jesus came to be born of a virgin, live a perfect life, die on the cross for our sins, be raised from the dead, and will return for us.  I went with the second option.

    What about you?  What do you think about the whole Santa deal?

    1.)Is it okay to teach your kids about Santa?

    2.)Is it deception to tell your kids that Santa is Real?

    3.) Is it ever okay to lie to your kids?

    3 Christmas Meditations on Being a Parent (Part 2)

    On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Family, parentingLeave a comment

    2. Mary and Joseph Knew they would have to let go.

    I wonder if knowing the destiny of Jesus (at least vaugly) effected the way that Mary and Joseph went about parenting? In a very real way they were forced to come to terms with letting him go.  Letting go can be one of the hardest parts about parenting.

    I see parents who are clinging to their children and holding on too tight.  Sometimes this comes from a natural desire to protect their children from harm (there are other reasons).  No one wants to see their children hurt and or know that their child could be in danger.  Yet, some parents take this to an extreme by hampering their children from being able to  spread their own wings.  Sometimes we grow so accustomed to making decisions for our children, that we forget the goal of parenting is to train our children to make their own decisions.

    Just like an archer has to let go of the arrow before it sails into the air and finds its mark, Parents are called on to release their children.  I think this happened in a very real way for Mary and Joseph.  They knew their was something special about Jesus from the start.  How do you raise the savior?

    How would we parent differently if we knew the destiny of our children?  What if God called them to the heart of darkness a world away?  Would we be prepared to send them? Guide them? even direct them? My prayer is that he does call them there and that we are willing to let go and even send them.

    To be honest each day I function on the edge of insanity.  Every time the road is wet and my wife and kids are in a car somewhere without me, I keep the phone close, praying that they are ok.  I could easily become compulsive about the safety of my children.  “No” could easily become the most dominant word in my vocabulary for no other reason than that “No” is safe.  But the joy of parenting isn’t found purely in seeking safety but in the risk of providing direction and  letting go.