Tag: church

7 Keys to A Better Sunday Morning Family Worship Experience

On By pastorjonathanIn Family, parenting, spiritual disciplinesLeave a comment

So, we’ve all been there. That long and awkward drive to church where you have been fighting with the kids all morning, feeling rushed. Because of the rushed feeling tensions are high between you and your spouse. Your kid asks a simple and innocent enough question and you lash out something like, “Just Be Quiet! We are on our way to church!

Perhaps you feel like a hypocrite as soon as you say it, or maybe you just chalk it up to Satan trying to foil your Sunday morning experience. Either way you feel guilty. But as soon as you pull in the parking lot you feel compelled to put on a smile and pretend everything is all right. Now you really do feel like a hypocrite. They are singing “Enter the Gates with Thanksgiving in your Heart” but right now you feel resentment toward your spouse, toward your kids, and perhaps you even project your own insecurities on some of the cheery looking people around you as you call them a hypocrite under your breath.

But let’s rewind the scenario and see what might have caused this terrible start to a Sunday Morning Worship experience. The night before you stayed up later than usual to catch up on SNL. You hit the snooze buttons a few times to catch up on sleep and before you know it you are running late. All of the sudden realize that you washed everything but what you were hoping to wear today (or it’s still at the cleaners), so you scramble to put some other outfit together. The kids are up and asking about something to eat, you are trying to iron a shirt that you think might be a tad too small and your spouse just hopped in the shower which means you will have to wait for them before you can hop in.

But is there a better way? I propose there is. What if we prepared for Sunday on Saturday?  Here are a few tips for preparing Saturday night for a good experience on Sunday.

  • Give the kids a bath the night before.
  • Go to bed early or at least on time.
  • Lay out your clothes for the next day (as well as for the kids).
  • Discuss a shower schedule with your spouse.
  • Have a brief time of prayer with your family asking God to make the next Sunday Special, Pray for your pastor, worship leader, life group leaders, etc.
  • Plan a light breakfast with protein in it.
  • Set your alarm and plan to wake up on time

Soon you will find that not everyone at church with a cheery face is faking it. A good Sunday morning experience begins with a little Saturday night preparation. What other tips can you offer to help make for a good Sunday morning experience?

Why I’m Not Bitter About the Church

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, Ministry1 Comment

I guess I should hate the church. I’ve seen hypocrites. My dad got fired from a church and I was treated badly by the church members. I was ostracized by part of my youth group growing up and I saw my family suffer financially because my dad was in a ministry job instead of something else. I’ve had unrealistic expectations placed on me my entire life by people from church. In the ministry I’ve had good friends stab me in the back. Hurting people have spread vicious rumors about me. I’ve had people slander me endlessly for making what I know to be the right decisions.  I’m used to getting second guessed at every turn and I realize by now nobody likes to be told they are a sinner. I guess I should hate the church… but I don’t

The determining factor is that through it all I saw something real. Growing up my family was far from perfect but I did see a sincere faith in my parents. I was challenged to memorize scripture. I still remember the day out on the swing when I was about four years old and my dad challenged me to memorize John 3:16. I remember walking by my parent’s bedroom and hearing them pray for my siblings and myself (they didn’t know I was listening). I remember the family prayer time where we discussed the bible. It never seemed like we were just going through the motions. There was always something real there.

Then there were the times that my parent’s faith just seemed to bleed out in everyday living. Like when my dad picked up a rough looking hitch-hiker with me in the car. Later I asked him if he was scared and he said something like you should never let something scary stop you from doing the right thing… God is in control. (Years later I would pick up a rough looking hitchhiker named David who would pray to receive Christ in my truck as a result of seeds planted by my parents).

Then the advice my parents gave always seemed to revolve around the scripture. During my passage into manhood my dad encouraged me to read the bible for myself and believe what it said rather than what he or any other man would say. This gave me freedom to form my own theology dependent from my father and have a ready defense for my faith that wasn’t based on a family tradition. Similarly when I went into the ministry my mother said that there are a lot of distractions out there and to keep it about the book. She freed me to love God by loving his word and the singular focus on his word in the ministry lead to my own conversion.

Through the years I’ve learned and continue to learn to forgive people. That church that fired my dad… I walked in one Sunday night a few years later and shared the hurt I suffered and forgave them. Then I laid hands on their pastor and prayed a prayer of blessing over him and the entire congregation. The financial suffering I learned was all a matter of perspective, we were richer in the things that mattered than I had realized. I pulled aside the folks spreading rumors and told them that I forgave them. And the folks who slandered me, I had a conversation seeking reconciliation. With every major hurt I have sought the uncomfortable conversation of reconciliation and by God’s grace, He has won every time. And I remember the words of my father, “don’t let something scary stop you from doing the right thing.”

Yes the church is full of hypocrites and some of them really do have unrealistic expectations of pastors and their families, but none of that negates the work of Jesus Christ in my life. You see He’s real no matter how church people behave. And if we’re telling the truth the best place for hypocrites and backstabbers and people with unrealistic expectations to be, is church. They need to be reminded of the gospel. I know I do and though I wouldn’t like to admit it, there have been times in my life when I’ve been the hypocrite, back stabber and imposed unrealistic expectations on others.

So I’m not bitter about the church, I’m hopeful. I’m hopeful that all of us will be presented complete in Christ one day. All these little things that have caused so much pain will be purified in the presence of Christ the king. We’ll carry only the scars to remember how the gospel came to us through nail pierced hands and feet. No more pain, only rejoicing.

Is Church Designed for Sissies?

On By pastorjonathanIn books, Manhood, Ministry1 Comment

  Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow is a compelling book about the gender gap that is growing in congregations world-wide.  Women outnumber men in some congregations with the differential ratios as high as 63 to a measly 37 percent.   In his newly revised ground breaking book Murrow attempts to explain the feminization of the church and what pastors and leaders can do to restore the masculine appeal.

The thing that piqued my interest most about Why Men Hate Going to Church is that way that Murrow lines out his argument for masculine church being a Biblical model.  According to Murrow (and he has some interesting stats and historical data on his side), the church (in general) has slowly drifted into a feminized form of Christianity which by nature appeals to women and excludes men.  The most damaging element of the slide into gender favoritism is that Church has historically appealed to men.

I really enjoyed reading this book and give it a full five stars. I can see it being useful to pastors and ministry leaders who are looking to restore some of the biblical and redeemed cultural initiatives that appeal to men.  For women who are interested in helping men find their way back to church, David Murrow has written another book that you may find helpful as well, How Women Help Men Find God.  You can find out more about author David Murrow and the book Why Men Hate Going to Church on his website: churchformen.com

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of the BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Are you frustrated with Christian Fellowship?

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Kingdom of GodLeave a comment

I ran across this convicting Bonhoeffer quote this week and thought I’d pass it along here.

If we do not give thanks daily for the Christian fellowship in which we have been placed, even where there is no great experience, no discoverable riches, but much weakness, small faith, and difficulty;  if on the contrary, we only keep complaining to God that everything is so paltry and petty, so far from what we expected, then we hinder God from letting our fellowship grow according to the measure and riches which are there for us all in Jesus Christ.

This applies in a special way to the complaints often heard from pastors and zealous members about their congregations.  A pastor should not complain about his congregation, certainly never to other people, but also not go God.  A congregation has not been entrusted to him in order that he should become its accuser before God and men.  When a person becomes alienated from a Christian community in which he has been placed and begins to raise complaints about it, he had better examine himself first to see whether the trouble is not due to his wish dream that should be shattered by God; and if this be the case, let him thank God for leading him into this predicament.  But if not, let him guard against ever becoming an accuser of the congregation before God.  Let him rather accuse himself  for his unbelief.  Let him pray God for an understanding of his own failure and his particular sin, and pray that he may not wrong his brethren.  Let him, in the consciousness of his own guilt, make intercession for his brethren.  Let him do what he is committed to do and thank God.

– Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together

Discipleship 101: Be Teachable

On By pastorjonathanIn discipleship, leadership, ManhoodLeave a comment

So through the years God has blessed me to be able to be in a mentor/ coach/ lead/ disciple/ pastor or whatever the next buzz-word will be, several men.  For the first several years I didn’t recognize much of what was happening other than the guys who were hanging around me began asking great questions and I was able to teach from where I had been and what I knew to be true from God’s word.  These days I’m a little more intentional and I move forward with a larger game plan to develop and strengthen the gifts and talents that these men posses in the Lord.

Regi Campbell shares in his book Mentor Like Jesus that he generally picks the guys that he is going to mentor.  I tend to agree Regi’s line of thinking on this.  The disciple maker should choose the disciples.  For the longest time I didn’t know why I held this as a default position other than the fact that through the years I’ve rejected some folks who wanted my input and sought out others to influence.  Then it dawned on me… The guys I picked tended to have one quality in common… They were teachable.

Be Teachable

I learned a long time ago that not everyone who came to me for discipleship really wanted to grow.  Sometimes people sought me out for opportunity or endorsement; they didn’t always want to learn what I might have to teach.  As a pastor I know that my greatest work for the moment with these type people will not be actual discipleship, but in bringing them to a place of being teachable (which usually involves allowing them to fail repeatedly until they come to a place of frustration and through their frustration they overcome their pride enough to ask for help).

When Jesus called the first few disciples he said, “Follow me and I will make you fishers of men.”  The key to becoming fishers of men was to follow Jesus in such a way that he could transform them.  In essence they had to be teachable.  If you were to ask me to teach you how to fold a paper airplane and I were to repeatedly demonstrate very basic folding patterns while talking about how airflow over a certain shape were to create lift, I would expect you to follow at least the very basic folding patterns even if all the talk about airflow went in one ear and out the other.  However, if you were unwilling even to follow my basic folding patterns and try to attempt your own very flawed designs with no regard to how airflow creates lift I would call you unteachable.  My best hope at that point would be to move on and teach those who are teachable and hope that after 1000’s of failed attempts to make your plane fly that you would come back for some help with at least the basic folds.

But what if you were teachable?  What if you came to me and I taught you paper folds while talking airflow and while at first you didn’t understand airflow you did understand the folds?  Then you tried some modifications to my design and some worked and some didn’t.  What if then as we talked through why some of your modifications failed and succeeded you all of the sudden grasp what I was saying about airflow and this information fuels modifications and changes that work?  Then I would say that you are teachable and soon you will be able to teach others.

So it is with discipleship.  The first thing you must do is be teachable.  If you are not teachable, all bets are off.  I can’t make you into anything.  I can’t help you succeed.  Your own pride will hang you before we ever get started.  You must be willing to listen.  You must be willing to learn.  You must be willing to attempt under supervision.  You must be willing to discuss failure as well as success.  You must be teachable.  To not be teachable is to not be transformed.

The truth is that to really be a disciple, you must be teachable.  Are you teachable?

Even as a leader I strive in my own life to fight pride and to be teachable.

 

Disclosure of Material Connection: Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

On This Day in Christian History (A Review)

On By pastorjonathanIn books, MinistryLeave a comment

I like history.  I really like Christian History.  Just take one glance around my office and you will notice that most of the books on my shelves were written by dead guys (actually they wrote the books and then they died).  You might also notice a long shelve filled with biographies and still another shelf filled with volumes of Church history.  You will also notice a magazine stack of Christian History Magazines.  I’m a history guy.  I’m a Christian history guy.

So when On This Day in Christian History: 365 Amazing and Inspiring Stories about Saints, Martyrs and Heroes came up for review, I jumped at the chance to review it.  And it didn’t disappoint.  There are so many things that I like about this book and  it is hard to summarize in just a few words, so let me say this… it’s the perfect gift for a guy like me.  I can also see it being a great read for someone who is interested in getting a glimps at the people and events of Christian history.

The stories are generally inspiring.  There is a scripture verse at the bottom of the page that brings relevance and meaning to the previously read story.  There is a fascinating topic index in the back of the book allowing readers to look up stories according to topic. Over all it does a great job at achieving its purpose (a bite sized reading of what happened in Christian history on a particular day) in a way that encourages readers to stay engaged in the book.  I dare you to just read one day’s history when you get the book.

I  highly recommend On This Day in Christian History to anyone interested in Christian history.  To beginners its an easy read, small commitment book that will give you a broad spectrum view of Christian History.  To well educated history nerds like myself it will allow you to pull out of a narrowed genre of Church history (I find myself often in the Reformation and the Puritan Eras)  to appreciate a broader scope of history in a way that doesn’t take a lot of time.  Plus, everyone wants to know what happened in Christian history on your birthday.   The retail price is $12.99 (paperback), and is available around the web in places like Amazon.com for $9.35. I really like this book and at under $10 it makes a great dirty Santa gift when you are getting together with history nerds… unfortunately, we are a rare breed.  I gave it five stars.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of the BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    The Best book I’ve Read on Communicating Truth

    On By pastorjonathanIn books, MinistryLeave a comment

    Truth That Sticks: How to Communicate Velcro Truth in a Teflon World by Avery T. Willis Jr. and Mark Snowden is by far one of the best books I’ve read on how to communicate the biblical message.  I’ve read dozens of books just on the subject matter of speaking and dozens more on preaching, yet none with the simplicity and authenticating case studies presented in this book.  The idea is simple: The Bible has lots of truth telling stories and stories stick.

    The idea is so simple that we were already practicing it with the non-readers in our house.  I’ve read the Jesus Storybook Bible to my daughter 4 or 5 times now just by reading a few stories per night.  Sunday afternoons we pull out a set of pictures we have that tell the major stories of the Bible and she asks questions about the pictures and I tell the stories.  I just never thought of teaching adults, or students through stories… that is until I read Made to Stick by Dan and Chip Heath.  Then I thought it was possible, but I struggles with how to go about teaching adults through story.  Then this book made it’s way to my hands and has become a primer.

    To be honest another book is needed (and I think one is on the way) with more specifics on how to teach small groups, large group, etc. through the power of Biblical stories.

    This book is a great for people looking to share the gospel or  help disciple others, Sunday school teachers, pastors, etc. I highly recommend it.  The retail price is $14.99 (Paperback), and is available at a discount at  Amazon.com for $10.19. I gave it FIVE stars

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    The Book Every Young Pastor in a Small Church Needs to Read

    On By pastorjonathanIn books, MinistryLeave a comment

    Transforming Church in Rural America by Shannon O’Dell is a must read for any young pastor leading a congregation in rural America!  I was deeply blessed by almost every page in this book and even a little humbled.  Having grown up in rural churches and having many friends who are pastoring rural churches I can testify that Shannon has hit the mark.  What you will find with this book is a no-nonsense, practical, count-the-cost design for much needed change in many of our rural churches.  Shannon knows from first hand experience the cost of bringing change and leading a dying church back to vibrant health and he has a story to tell.

    Throughout Transforming Church in Rural America, Shannon tells the story of how he was called by God from being on staff at a large church to pastoring a small South Side Baptist Church in an 88 resident town in Arkansas.  Over the last six years God has blessed Shannon to be at the forefront of change in rural America to reach people with the gospel.  Today Shannon’s church, now renamed, Brand New Church reaches out to thousands of people each week through multiple campuses. Shannon’s passion to reach rural America at any cost is contagious.  Note this quote from the book…

    As far as too many soldiers have shown us, it takes great personal sacrifice to willingly enter a conflict.  But if we are to fulfill our vision, we have no other choice.  It’s change, conflict, growth; change, conflict, growth; and you have to walk through that process.  It happens on a personal level every time we see someone freed from a massive addiction. The person makes a change, then there is a major conflict, but then there is unbelievable growth. It’s the same with church; we must go through change and then conflict in order to see growth. Nobody told me that before I went to rural America.  but it’s part of the game – one of the rules you will have to abide by play after play. When conflict comes most rural pastors give up on change. It’s just too hard. What can we do? We must be resolved to conflict in its many forms; we must pick our battles carefully, and we must choose which hills we are willing to die on- just as Jesus chose Golgotha. (page 81-82).

    I highly recommend Transforming Church in Rural America.  In fact if you are considering a call to pastor a small church or a church in rural America, its a must read.  You won’t find this kind of transparency and passion for rural churches anywhere else. The retail price is $12.99 (hardcover), and is available around the web in places like Amazon.com for $10.39. I gave it four stars.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson as part of the BookSneeze program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    Is the Kingdom now, not yet, or both? A review of “Chasing Francis” by Ian Morgan Cron

    On By pastorjonathanIn books, Kingdom of GodLeave a comment

    Chasing Francis By Ian Morgan Cron is an interesting and engaging book.  The book is written in novel format, but seeks to serve as an introduction to the life of St. Francis of Assisi. Francis was called by God to “rebuild the church” and set about living a lifestyle and organizing a monastic order that set about to live out the Sermon on the Mount. According to the author and those who endorse the book, St. Francis has a lot to offer the Western church today.  I was impressed with how well the modern-day fictional story of a pastor in the midst of spiritual crisis “chasing” the footsteps of Francis on a pilgrimage really did lend itself to being a catchy introduction to the life of St Francis.

    My fear with the book is philosophical in that while the church is being called to action, little is being said about the truth of who God is. A subtle “kingdom now” utopia of good works theme plays throughout the background of the book.  At one instance there is a suggestion for a church to send part of its missions budget to agencies that are formed around protecting the environment.  The question of the hour then becomes… “What makes Mission, Christian?” In other words, while we are preaching the gospel with our actions and using words (only) if necessary, what distinctively shows our actions to be gospel oriented?  Doesn’t Oprah give generously to just causes and Bill Gates?  Are they ushering in the kingdom or are they just giving money to a good cause?  What does saving the planet really demonstrate about the gospel?  I need words to tell me.

    I know by fan’s of this movement it will seem like I just don’t get it, but the truth is I do.  I get it. I get it all too well.  We will teach social justice and miss the gospel all together.  I know that’s not being said, but I see it being done. Nothing wrong with what has come to be known as social justice (feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc…) except when it dominates the platform it eclipses the real issue.  We must not forget why people are hungry, naked, and in need of a savior in the first place.  Social justice is a much needed band-aide to a hurting world, but Jesus is the only solution to the sin issue, please… lets not forget that.

    The book is very well written including a study guide for group study found in the back of the book. I have a hard time recommending it because of the philosophical underpinnings that I have come to find lacking a fair treatment of the gospel.  The retail price is $14.99 (Paperback), and is available at a discount at  Amazon.com for $10.14. I gave it three stars

    Nearly 2 years ago I came across this theme in another book you can read my questions and responses here.

    Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. Some of the links in the post above are “affiliate links.” This means if you click on the link and purchase the item, I will receive an affiliate commission. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will add value to my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

    What Is the Bible basically about?

    On By pastorjonathanIn discipleship, Ministry, student ministry, VideoLeave a comment

    Thought Provoking…