Tag: Bible Study

3 Keys to a Good Disciple Now Weekend (Part: 2)

On By pastorjonathanIn student ministryLeave a comment

The Leader

The second key to planning a great Disciple Now weekend is the leaders.  Once the theme is figured out, it is time to figure out who will be leading your small group bible studies in the homes.  I used to get college students from the local Christian University or BCM (Baptist Campus Ministries) group to help me out on this one.  However, as I have had opportunity to be a youth pastor in one church for an extended period of time, I have enjoyed having kids who have come through the program start leading small groups once they have hit college.  Its great for the younger students to see a student who has come all the way through the student ministry and its good for the leaders to be able to give something back to the group they came from.  On top of that, I get to test the kids who have been under my teaching and provide them with further opportunities for growth and experience.

Wherever you get your leaders, the key is that they exhibit a growing relationship with God.  At the end of the day you want someone who will reinforce what it looks like to grow and mature in a relationship with God.  I like the idea of college students because it gives your students a good role model for their next steps on the journey.

Even though I generally know my leaders before they come lead the Disciple Now weekend.  I generally like to sit down with them a month or two before the weekend and brief them on the Theme, the idea of what kids will be in their group, and the material they will be teaching through.  I also like to catch up and find out how things are progressing at school and what God is teaching them.
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How to Have a Daily Worship Time

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, discipleship, spiritual disciplines1 Comment

What is a Daily Worship Time (DWT)?

A daily worship time is a special time set aside for an individual to grow closer to God.  The DWT most often includes practical and consistent excercise of spiritual disciplines (bible study, prayer, silence, fasting,etc.).  This practice has various other names, such as a daily ‘”quiet time” or “personal devotions”, the name doesn’t matter as much as the concept of intentionally putting ourselves in a place where we are more likely to hear from God.

When Should I have a my Daily Worship Time?

Daily worship times really work best for me when scheduled in the morning before breakfast.  I personally like this time because it helps me start my day out right.  On days that I have missed my DWT, or done it later in the day, I can really tell a difference.  This may be hard for some people because it requires self-discipline.  This early morning time is somewhat important for me, but you haven’t blown it if you need to set up another time.  It is better to be consistent with your DWT than it is to be early and not consistent.  If you have never had a consistent DWT before, you may want to schedule a time with Jesus  (ex. before breakfast, when you get home from school, or 8PM every evening).  You may want to set an alarm clock to remind you or leave yourself notes.   Make it as important as if you were meeting one of your best friends (after all you are meeting with Jesus).

What do I do for a Daily Worship Time?

Many people do different things for their daily worship time.  The main thing is that the focus is on learning about and worshiping God.  Even though people do their DWT differently there are some elements that  should always be involved.

The first important element of a DWT is reading God’s Word. It is by reading what God has said about Himself that we learn about who God is.  When we read His word we are reminded of his unchanging character.  You can learn more about how to read God’s word here.

Another element essential to a DWT is  Prayer. Prayer is how we communicate with God and verbally submit our lives to him.  Through prayer we recognize His ability and our inability over people and circumstances.  There are many parts to prayer, but the main parts are:  recognizing who God is, recognizing our need for God, submitting our lives (and specifically each day) to God, asking God for direction, and asking God to move and work in the lives of other people. I will post more on prayer later.

Some people like to include a Journal as part of their DWT. This is a notebook where you can record your thoughts about who God is or how you need to respond to Him.  A journal can consist of just a few short notes or well thought out paragraphs.  When I was younger and had a hard time praying, I would write out my prayers to Jesus in a journal.  Since then it has been a blessing to look back at my journals and see who and what I was praying for and how God answered those prayers.

Many people like to sing as part of their DWT. They use music to proclaim their delight in God or to remind them of certain things about God like His love or His faithfulness.  We have a few  awesome worship teams at our church both on Sundays and Wednesday nights with our students who have introduced me to several great songs.  If I hear a song that really speaks to me, or reminds me of a particular truth about God, I will do a word search and get a copy of the music and memorize the song so I can sing it during this time. Some of you are very musically gifted and will write songs of praise based off of what you have learned about God in your DWT.

I strongly recommend that near the end of your DWT that you write out what your response to God should be. This allows you to apply God’s word to your life and how you live.  In my own DWT  I call these action steps.  Action steps are practical ways that you will apply the truth you learn each day to your life.  You can read more about action steps in the second half of this post.

A Few Tips on How to Read the Bible

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, spiritual disciplines3 Comments

When I was little I knew that it was important to read the Bible, but I didn’t know how.  I used to flip open my Bible and what ever passage it opened to I would read.  I heard a preacher tell a story about a man who was looking for God’s will like that.  He flipped open his Bible and placed his finger on a verse and it said, “Judas went out and hung himself.”  He thought, “that can’t be God’s will for my life.  I need to try again.”  He did it again and this time it came up, “Go thou and do likewise.” We know God would never tell us to go hang ourselves, this man’s idea about how to hear from God was a little flawed.

My bible at Whirled Cup Cafe

Needless to say you don’t normally get a lot from reading the Bible like that.  You can’t get a lot from any book by doing that, especially God’s word.  When it comes to God’s word there are a few things that you need to keep in mind.

1.) The Bible is a collection of books. The Bible is collection of books and those books were meant to be read just like any other book, from beginning to end.  That is how we can make the most sense of other books.  That is how we can make the most sense out of God’s word.

2.)  We call the Bible God’s word because it is what God has told us about Himself. It is a record of how God has dealt with mankind through the centuries.  Hebrews 1:1-2 tells us,”God, who at various times and in various ways spoke in time past to the fathers by the prophets, has in these last days spoken to us by His son.” The Bible is the recorded word of God and so when we read it, whether we are reading about Noah and the Flood, or Jesus’ death, burial, and resurrection, we can rest assured that God has given us His word in order to reveal Himself.  So as we study the Bible we need to ask, “What is God saying about Himself ?”  The story of Noah and the ark isn’t about a floating zoo, its about God’s grace in saving Noah, God’s intolerance of sin, and so much more!  We read God’s word to learn about God.

3.)  But we don’t stop there, we also need to apply it to our lives and so we should ask a second question, “What should my response be to what I have just learned to be true about God?”  We want to be a responsive people.  Think about it.  Why did God give you His word?  He shows you who He is through His word and so as our understanding of God changes our response to God changes.  We can not be the same people.

These two questions help me to develop resolutions or what I like to call action steps. Action steps are tangible things that I can do in my life that day to put into practice what I have learned to be true about Jesus.  They can be as simple and general as “I’m going to call out to Jesus every time I am tempted today because he knows what it was like to be tempted and was yet without sin” (Matthew 4).  Or they can be as specific and complex as, “I am going to ask my mother to forgive me because I was a jerk to her last night because Jesus commands his followers to live in a right relationship with others” (Matthew 5:24).

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Just to recap, here are the highlights.

1. Read a book of the bible in the order it was written (don’t randomly flip open the bible and throw your finger down in the middle).

2. Ask two important questions….

  • What does this say about God?
  • How should I respond to God?

3. Use those questions to help you formulate resolutions or action steps

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Looking for a place to start?

If you are new to this bible reading thing or haven’t done it in a while and you are looking for a place to start, I encourage you to check out the blog of my friend (and pastor) Chris Aiken.  Each morning he reads a proverb and a chapter from another book of the Bible.  He then makes a blog post commenting on the chapter of scripture he read.  What is really neat about the blog format is that you can post questions or responses to each daily reading.  You can find his blog at http://www.chrisaiken.wordpress.com

Every Student, Every Neighbor

On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Kingdom of God, PrayerLeave a comment

It was 4 AM and I couldn’t sleep.  So I just laid there in bed with thoughts racing through my head about prayer, how to pray, why we pray, why we don’t pray enough and who would be at their flag pole in the morning.  I was worried because I am not normally compulsive about simple events like asking students to show up and pray at their flag pole.  So I eased my mind and began to call out to Jesus for clarity and  for focus.  In my heart he began a burden that was more fully realized later at the flagpole that day.

Flag's at Ransom Middle School (iphone)

I stood around with a crowd of about sixty teenagers at a flag pole as they prayed.  I watched from my huddle of adults as hundreds of other kids piled around the court yard wondering what was going on at their flag pole.  My heart broke for the students.  Sixty at the pole and about three hundred on the outside watching, more arriving each minute.  As I stood there I could see it like a sign over thier heads.  People lost like sheep without a shepherd.  Words about addictions, struggles, and issues that lead to death filled my mind. Words like anorexia, school violence, drugs, depression, peer pressure, alcohol poisoning, drunk driving, bulemia, abortion, suicide, rape, racism, bullying… lies that people believe.  My heart was broken knowing that many have never even heard the name of Jesus other than a cuss word.

Then I called out to God from the noise in my head and pleaded for him to empower these sixty, these few to reach their school for Jesus.  Though much of the freedoms once afforded teachers and other adults on the campus were coming under attack in our area, one thing was clear… students still have the freedom to share the gospel and tell their friends about Jesus.

Yet peer pressure stands in the way.  That is what kept sixty around the pole instead of in the crowds.  Its also what kept students from finding their way to school on time and praying at the pole.  The older I get, the easier it is to see.  Like going on a mission trip and seeing the need in another culture, I look at students, now that I am a generation removed, and see more clearly than ever their need for the gospel.  Indeed, I am a missionary to another culture.

Then it struck home.  What about the place where I live?  What about my culture?  What about my neighborhood just a few blocks away?  Do I see the need there?  There is a need.  Though my neighbors have houses like mine, cars like mine, kids like mine, and experience the same weather I do, many do not know, or have not heard about Jesus.

So I transitioned out of thought and into thoughtful action.  Rebekah (my 3 year old) and I are out walking the streets in the evenings meeting neighbors and developing relationships for a bridge to the gospel.  My aim is to meet and find opportunities to share the gospel with all of my neighbors.

I am still burdened for our schools and the student culture (and their parents) that I have been called to pastor and be a missionary to.  My prayer is that as we pray and ask God to send laborers that students and families would catch a vision for God and He would use them to share the gospel with every student, teacher, and faculty member by the end of the school year.

And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”  (Matthew 9:35-38 ESV)

For “everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, “How beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!” But they have not all obeyed the gospel. For Isaiah says, “Lord, who has believed what he has heard from us?”(Romans 10:13-16 ESV)

What about you?  What is your strategy to reach your neighborhood, school, or workplace?  Are you partnering with others to see Jesus proclaimed where you are?

Why Asking Her Dad Was Easy

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, dating, Manhood2 Comments

Avia and I decided that we were ready to be married.  Now all I had to do was ask her dad.  I know for most guys this kind of thing seems scary.  I generally don’t think it is easy to ask another man if you can marry his daughter.  I can think of a lot more comfortable situations.

Engagement Pictures

What paved the way to make this an easier situation for both her father and I was that we knew each other (though I can’t ever imagine being completely prepared for another man asking to marry my daughter). I had been hanging out at his house three or four times a week for years.  I had been getting to know Avia in the context of her home.  Not to mention that before we started dating, I asked her parents, particularly her dad, if we could date with the view toward marriage.

So when it came time to ask, though I was nervous, it wasn’t hard or difficult to muster up the courage to go see her father.  It was natural and easy.  I really respected Avia’s dad and I knew I was asking to take responsibility for his daughter.  Such things demand man to man conversation.

The details of the discussion we had are private, however, it is sufficient to say that two men met that day and discussed life.  The advice I received and continue to solicit from time to time was excellent advice not only on marriage, but on what marriage would be like with Avia.  I’ve come to the conclusion that no man, before her husband, knows a woman like her father.

With the blessing of her father, mother, and even her brother (after all I had inadvertently used him to get to know Avia better), I set out to propose.  I had the ring in hand, a bible passage to examine, and an anxious girl friend who couldn’t help but wonder when and how I would ask (it was hard for her to ignore that I had gone out of my way to talk with her father, mother, and brother individually).

Finally the time came to go to a Thursday night college Bible study that I was co-leading.  I drove by Avia’s house and picked her up.   On the way, I remembered that I had left a book in the sanctuary of the church and needed to go by and pick it up.  As we came into the sanctuary I had already arranged for all the lights to be off, except for one spotlight shining down on the altar.  The altar was empty except for a large bible open to Ephesians 5 and in between the pages there was an engagement ring.  I got down on one knee and said, “I’ve been reading this passage.  I am scared and I am humbled by it because I don’t think I am everything I need to be.  But it does describe the type of man that I want to be and will work the rest of my life to become if you answer yes to my question in just a moment.  Today I have a ring for you and I want to put it on your finger.  It is a promise, a promise that in a year from now we will stand together in this same place before God, before our parents, before a room full of witnesses and declare our love for each other and accept each other in marriage.  Avia, will you marry me?”

She said “yes” and something to the effect of “you talk too much.”  We embraced and read Ephesians 5:22-33 talked about how we would try and fulfill that passage and prayed together.  Then we went to a Bible study and she showed off her ring.  Eight months later we were married.

Grandpa’s Secret Strategy for Successful Dating: And Why it Worked

On By pastorjonathanIn About Jonathan, Family, Manhood, WomanhoodLeave a comment

I have this Bible at home.  It is worn out and falling apart from years of use.  It belonged to my grandfather.  The notes and circled verses in the Bible tell of his conversion to Christianity, his love for his wife, and a few other details.  He was one of the greatest men I have ever known.  Though he wasn’t perfect, he was consistent as a role-model.  I used to love to sit with him for hours and hear stories about him and grandma.  I figured if anyone knew how to live out what it means to be a Christian in the context of a marriage, it was him.  So one day, a year or two before he passed away I had the opportunity to ask him to reflect on what it takes to build a strong marriage.  I learned a lot that day, but the thing that stuck out to me the most was that he was genuinely friends with my grandmother.

Grandpa's Bible

He shared about how in each venture they undertook, from the farm, to owning a grocery store, to working together in a retirement home, that he loved having a work situation where she was never far and could be by his side.  They were truly great friends and worked well together. If I was going to use my grandparent’s blueprint for a successful marriage, one thing was clear, Avia and I would need to work well together.

This is really an important issue when it comes to picking and evaluating a future spouse.  Men and women were meant to compliment one another.  That is the gist of Genesis 2:18. God did not intend for Adam to tend the garden alone and made Eve to be his helper.  Men and women were made to work together.  So the question was, would Avia and I work well together?

To evaluate this and make sure we were building a relationship on trust rather than emotion we took several practical steps.  We didn’t kiss for the first several months that we dated.  We searched for common interests.  We babysat kids together.  We cooked meals together.  We played indoor games like Scrabble.  We played tennis together (and learned its better if we don’t play on the same team).  We worked on crafts together (like sewing identical teddy bears and painting small ceramic houses).  The point was to work on common projects and see how we related.  Most of this we did in her parents kitchen or living room where they could see us interact.

During this time we also sought out the advice of couples of all ages.  We sat down with newly wed couples and asked what they wished they had done to prepare for marriage.  We interviewed older couples with grandchildren and asked them the secret to their success.  We watched them interact.

Through this process we learned a lot.  We learned to communicate.  We learned it was okay to disagree.  We learned what we liked and didn’t like.   We learned how to express our feelings.  We learned our weaknesses.  We learned our strengths.  We learned that we were growing more in love with each other.

Then one night as we were reading the Bible we came to Ephesians 5.  I told her we should study that passage and really start preparing for marriage.  She told me that she didn’t have a ring on her finger and I hadn’t talked to her dad.  She was wise to put a hold on the emotional commitment that such an action would bring until their was a serious commitment toward marriage.  It brought us to a serious point of reflection to see if we were ready to start making preparations for marriage.

It helps to be Mr. Right when looking for Mrs. Right: otherwise it’s all wrong

On By pastorjonathanIn Manhood, WomanhoodLeave a comment

So often when it comes to dating and looking for a future spouse,  the focus is on finding the “one person who was made for me.”  I’ve even heard speakers talk about developing a list of qualities you are looking for in a future spouse and stick to the list. That is really not that bad of an idea (depending on how picky your list is).  I actually had a list but the thought occurred to me, “what if I found someone who fit my list, but I didn’t fit theirs?”

At the time  I was being challenged to discover Biblical manhood and womanhood.  It also helped that near the same time I overheard a girl at one of the local colleges talk about her list.  After hearing her list and evaluating her lifestyle I  thought, “there is no way that someone who matched that list would marry her.”  She was just dreaming because her lifestyle wouldn’t attract the guy on her list.  She would either have to change or change her list.

Such thoughts had caused me to come to some serious introspection and I decided to take some time away from the dating scene (because of my failure to come more introspection before dating, I had proven myself a dismal failure as a boyfriend in a relationship throughout college).  I didn’t want to come to the table looking for Mrs. Right and not be Mr. Right.  It was evident there were things that had to change in me.  I was looking for needs to be met by a girlfriend or future spouse that were meant to only be met in God.

I was  unable to obtain Mrs. Right’s list (I didn’t know God would be so kind as to let me marry Avia) and I thought it was a little arbitrary to blindly make a list of qualities in myself that I needed to submit before God.  So I simply asked God for guidance.  In his kindness I was able to rediscover the books of I Timothy and Titus.  I began to use these books as guides to understanding how to become a godly young man. I also began searching out role models in my life.  Men of character and wisdom who would be wise guides and would give me honest feedback about things I needed to submit before God.

In the midst of this I discovered that one of the qualities of leadership is to be a one woman man (I Timothy 3:1, Titus 1:6).  God broke my heart of the disillusionment that I had been keeping this standard because I wasn’t married.  Though I wasn’t even dating at the time, I was putting on pretense in the form of flirtation that lead several young women to think I was interested in them.  Though I was single and not in any type of defined relationship, my failure to clearly define my friendships and my willingness to lead others on was evidence that I was not a one woman man (part of me loved the attention).  The details about what God worked in me and how it came about probably deserve its own post at a later time.  I only bring it up only now because I see many young single men (and women for that matter) who like I did are casting nets of wide spread flirtation in search of someone rather than baiting the hook with godliness.

    The Danger of Missing it by a Mile

    On By pastorjonathanIn Uncategorized2 Comments

    “There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death.”
    (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25 ESV)

    Wrong Way

    So I found some of my old writings on a zip disk leftover from my college days.  I took time to read them and took a quick trip down memory lane to see how I might have changed.   As I was reading I couldn’t help but notice a subtle but profound difference that has taken place.  Somewhere in my writing I transitioned from knowing about God to being a quest to know God.  As the son of a pastor and a student minister studying religion I was living in a world where everyday I was brought face to face with the Word of God and gleaning doctrine divorced from personal relationship.  I was a faithful student of God’s stats, but not his friend.  I could have told you the important nuances of a Bible passage and had a great grasp on how to use all the study tools, but it didn’t do me any good.  I didn’t grow closer to God, I loved his word, but I didn’t love Him. I look back and I thank God for his kindness toward me in leading me to repentance and real faith in Him.

    Just knowing about God caused me to act in such away as if winning a theological argument with another religion student or science major was what it was all about.  I studied God’s word to bring me more personal glory.  I would risk relationships to show others how superior in Bible trivia I was.  Yet when I came to know God, I left it all, and fully embraced the embarrassment of confessing that I had known God’s stats, but missed out on knowing him.

    I have seen several pastors hit grand slam sermons out of the pulpit and strike out at home with their own children because their children understood their dad was a phony.  I have seen kids walk away from their parents religion because dad and mom were more concerned about what people would think rather than what God thinks.  Pride is a dangerous thing.  It can keep you in church and out of heaven.

    God, I thank you for your grace in reminding me that I need to offer my pride to you again today.  It is a dangerous thing to learn about you and not know you.  Thank you for interrupting my life with your grace so I wouldn’t be content to study your word without the hope of knowing you.  Give me strength to cast down any idol that would stand in the way of knowing you.

    Review: The [expanded] Bible

    On By pastorjonathanIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

    The [E_200_350_Book.75.coverxpanded] Bible (a modified version of the NCV) by Thomas Nelson Publishers is a great resource for readers who are looking for a clearer understanding of the biblical text.  The expanded Bible presents the base text of the Bible translation in a bold print and then additional information for each phrase or verse in a lighter text.  The idea behind the expanded Bible is that when the Bible is translated from the original languages to another (like English) that bits and pieces can get lost in the translation.  It would be a bit like watching the Wizard of Oz in black and white (translation) versus color (original language). The ideas come across, but nuances are missing.   The expanded Bible attempts to help bridge the gap and fill in the details that are lost in translation (making the yellow brick road shine and the ruby red slippers glisten).

    The Expanded Bible is very easy to use.  The notes are easy to locate and understand.  The headings are placed to the side and a one inch margin provides a great place for reader notes.   Unlike a traditional Bible it is difficult to read in a continuous fashion, due to the notes being included in the text.  However I have found it to be a great aid as a study Bible for the very same reason.

    For Bible study there are better tools available, but this book serves its purpose well in providing a quick reference and helping to grasp a particular passage. As supplemental study material, or for those looking for an easy to use bible study tool The Expanded Bible is an excellent resource. The retail price is $29.99 (Hardcover), and is available at places like Amazon for $13.59.

    Disclaimer: As a blogger I received a free review copy from the Thomas Nelson’s Book Review Blogger program  (http://brb.thomasnelson.com/ ).  There was no requirement to give it a positive review, just for the reviewer to call it like they see it.

    7 Steps of a Unified Group

    On By pastorjonathanIn Devotional, Ministry3 Comments

    My aim in writing this post is to point you in the right direction on unity.  Most often the discussion on unity is centered on how a group of people are not unified and how they should be.  The problem with this kind of discussion is that it tends to lead the group to become even more fractured as those discussing the issue of unity become frustrated with the behaviors of others (all the while missing thier own missbehavior along the way).  Supporting the following seven steps is one underlying principle: We find unity in common purpose.  For the Christian and hence the church (youth group, etc.) unity is found in Glorifying God through Jesus Christ.

    Puzzling

    Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ, from whom the whole body, joined and held together by every joint with which it is equipped, when each part is working properly, makes the body grow so that it builds itself up in love. Now this I say and testify in the Lord, that you must no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their minds. They are darkened in their understanding, alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them, due to their hardness of heart. They have become callous and have given themselves up to sensuality, greedy to practice every kind of impurity. But that is not the way you learned Christ!– assuming that you have heard about him and were taught in him, as the truth is in Jesus, to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another. Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

    (Ephesians 4:15-32 ESV)

    Step One: Speak the Truth (In Love)

    In Ephesians 4:15 and again in verse 25 we are told to “Speak the Truth.”  Truth speaking should always come from a heart of  love and a desire to grow and see others grow in the likeness of Christ (Ephesians 4:15).  We are not to be deceptive.  We are not to lie, manipulate or pretend in front of others about what is going on in our lives.  Speaking the truth about our selves makes us vulnerable and accountable for the sake of the larger vision (seeing more of Jesus in our lives).  Speaking the truth to others shows genuine concern and accountability.

    Step Two: Be Angry, but don’t sin

    People are not perfect and the truth is that sometimes you will get angry with others.  Anger is a natural emotion.  However, many people use anger as an excuse to sin against others. They justify small and petty acts of retalliation like gossiping about someone, being mean or hostile to people, or defriending them.  However, these expressons of anger rarely solve the problem, they usually create more problems like bitterness, division, and hatred.  A better expression of anger is to address the issue that has stired the anger (in an non-sinful way).

    We are  told to not to let anger go beyond a day (Ephesians 4:26).  Letting anger grow and fester becomes a foothold for the devil to create more issues in our life and keep us side tracked from the greater vision of Glorifying God.  If you find yourself handeling your anger in the wrong way you need to repent and ask God for healthier ways to evaluate and express your anger.  Don’t let anger cause you to lose focus.

    Step Three: Be Generous…Work to Share with Others

    Ephesians 4:28 reminds us that we are not to steal, but rather work hard so we will have something to share with everyone else.  Too often people come looking for what they can get, rather than what they can give.  In nature parasites are identified as creatures that take from thier host, but never offer anything in return.  If we all come to the group as parasites looking for what we can get, but never offering to others we have missed the point of growing in Christ likeness.  We are to work hard to so we have something to offer everyone else who is there.  You will find the more you serve and meet the needs of others, the more your needs are met.

    Step Four: Watch what you Say

    Paul says in Ephesians 4:29-30 that we should guard out mouths.  You do not glorify God by using your words to teardown, belittle, and destroy the efforts of others.  You grieve the Holy Spirit of God when your words are designed to tear down.  You may have a different preference than others on certain side issues, but you do not have  to verbally assault everyone who holds a different opinion than you.  When you talk about or too your group it should be to build it up, not to tear it down.  (By the way, this includes talking about all those people who are “in the way” of your group being unified).

    Step Five: Put Away Bitterness

    Bitterness is a disease that is rampant in our churches and congregations today.  Bitterness happens when you disagree with someone (rightly or wrongly) and you hold  a grudge.  The grudge grows and festers to effect the way you see that person.  What started out as a small dissagreement between two people is all the sudden blown up into a larger scale drama where the person you are holding a grudge against can’t do anything right (in your eyes).  Bitterness causes us to lose focus on Glorifying God and growing in Christlikeness and focus on small and petty disputes.

    Step Six: Be Kind

    The goal of a group is to work to gether to glorify God.  Kindness goes a long way in helping others to feel accepted, invited, and part of the project.  Kindness can disarm the wepons of the enemy.  Deal with others kindly (they way you would want to be treated).  When you deal withpeople who are not  on task with the goals or mission of the group treat them kindly.

    Step Seven: Forgive

    This is probably the hardest step to take.  If you have been wronged it can be difficult to forgive a person for what they have done.  I’ve written more on forgiveness here.