Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Him, saying, “Teacher, we want You to do for us whatever we ask.” 36 And He said to them, “What do you want Me to do for you?” 37 They said to Him, “Grant us that we may sit, one on Your right hand and the other on Your left, in Your glory.” 38 But Jesus said to them, “You do not know what you ask. Are you able to drink the cup that I drink, and be baptized with the baptism that I am baptized with?” 39 They said to Him, “We are able.” So Jesus said to them, “You will indeed drink the cup that I drink, and with the baptism I am baptized with you will be baptized; 40 “but to sit on My right hand and on My left is not Mine to give, but [it is for those] for whom it is prepared.”

– Mark 10:35-40 (NKJV)

I have an old journal somewhere where I have recorded some of my prayers from my late teens and early twenties. I read them from time to time with a little embarrassment. They are a good reflection of where I was, but they weren’t a good indicator of where I was going. Don’t get me wrong, I asked God for a lot of good things. One prayer sticks out, I had just met a young woman and she must have made an impression on me, because I asked God for his blessing on our “friendship” and went as far as to say that if he should bless it to become more of a “relationship” that would be fine with me.

Fortunately for me, God didn’t need my input, and there was a sweet girl just down the street who would fill that special role in my life of being my best friend and more. So much so, that I can’t imagine it any other way. I’m so glad that God had a better plan than I had. I was bold in my prayers, but I was a little off the mark. These things are better left in God’s hands. He knows what he is doing!

James and John were called the sons of thunder. They both had a strong personalities and they were fiercely loyal. They were among Jesus’ first disciples and they were there in special moments when many of the other disciples weren’t (Mount of Transfiguration). They caught a whiff of what Jesus was talking about. He was headed to Jerusalem to inaugurate his kingdom! I’m sure they heard something about death in there too, but they had already seen Jesus in all his glory! This is the part where they wanted to be next to him. They wanted to by his left and right hand guys. They wanted a seat at the big table… and they hadn’t quite learned the reoccurring lesson of “the first shall be last and the last shall be first,” yet.

They didn’t know what they were asking, but they knew what they wanted. They wanted to be with Jesus when all of the action went down. They had plans and they were trying to make sure their plans succeeded and so they thought if they called “first” on those coveted spots that they would be theirs. But that’s now how things work in the Kingdom of heaven. You don’t get to call it for yourself, your better off putting your head down in serving the least of these and trusting Jesus to sort it all out when it comes time.

Jesus asks them if they are prepared to face what he will face and they say they are. They will face persecution in their own lives. James will be the first apostle martyred for his faith and John will live the longest out of all the apostles. They would both suffer. They would be faithful witnesses till the end. They could trust God to determine the order of things.

Father, We love you and want to grow in knowledge of you and your word. We humbly trust you with our lives and our futures today. Guide our thoughts, deeds, and actions. Help us to learn this lesson of, “the fist shall be last and the last shall be first.” Give us grace to serve others in your name. Give us discernment as we apply your word to our lives. In Jesus Name, Amen.